Brady_to_Moss Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I ask her yesterday if we could start doing this when we see and leave each other. She was very happy but is this an ok way of going about it.
prettybaby Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Yikes. Depending on the person and the relationship/context, I might be okay with it, but I'd still think "what a nerd" LOL I think the general consensus is to never ask such things and just do it.
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Yikes. Depending on the person and the relationship/context, I might be okay with it, but I'd still think "what a nerd" LOL I think the general consensus is to never ask such things and just do it. Yea i know that. She was just real nervous and i could tell. So i decided to ask her.
aamber Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I don't think it's very nerdy to ask a girl if you could kiss her or not, it shows that your considerate and just want to be sure your not rushing it.
Isolde Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I dont know, this is kind of adorable as well as nerdy.
carhill Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 OP, probably better to ask men what works rather than ask women what they want Yea i know that. She was just real nervous and i could tell. So i decided to ask her. Kissing her calms her. She becomes sure of your interest. If she reacts with surprise or negatively, make no mention or issue of it. Carry on with a smile
fral945 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 If you are young it's probably fine. Girls might find that cute in the teen years. However, just remember as you get older that asking probably won't be as successful. Better to just do it without asking. You'll probably gain enough confidence that you will begin to do that anyway. Most women expect you to be able to read their non-verbal cues and indirect hints when it comes to kissing, sex, and almost everything else. Better to learn while you are young.
IrishCarBomb Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Funny... because as often as people are told "be yourself", and they dismiss it... notice how girls find "nerdy" in this context kinda cute and don't really care. I wouldn't ask a girl for a (first?) kiss--it isn't my style. I'd make a gradual move, maybe brush hair out of her face, something along those lines. If she hadn't shown any hesitation to my actions, I'd move right in. Oddly enough I think my approach actually takes LESS guts than just outright asking, but I just think asking directly can destroy the setting. There are times where you just have to be able to read all the signals. (Would you ask... can I stick it in?... I hope not.)
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Funny... because as often as people are told "be yourself", and they dismiss it... notice how girls find "nerdy" in this context kinda cute and don't really care. I wouldn't ask a girl for a (first?) kiss--it isn't my style. I'd make a gradual move, maybe brush hair out of her face, something along those lines. If she hadn't shown any hesitation to my actions, I'd move right in. Oddly enough I think my approach actually takes LESS guts than just outright asking, but I just think asking directly can destroy the setting. There are times where you just have to be able to read all the signals. (Would you ask... can I stick it in?... I hope not.) No i agree with reading signals about kissing and sex. From now on i am not really going to ask and just go with it.
kashmir Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Um, don't you have to ask? Guys who just go in for a kiss when the feel it are considered creeps...
carhill Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 If the lady likes him, it won't matter. If not, he'll be a creep (to her) anyway
alphamale Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I ask her yesterday if we could start doing this when we see and leave each other. She was very happy but is this an ok way of going about it. one cardinal rule is you NEVER EVER ask a female if you can kiss her. if she gives you the right signals you go in for the kill without uttering a word... trust me, if she doesn't want a kiss she'll turn her head
kashmir Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 If the lady likes him, it won't matter. If not, he'll be a creep (to her) anyway See, that's what I always figured, but I've heard stuff come straight out of girls' mouths that doesn't make any sense. One day they'll be crazy for a guy, but when he went in for a kiss they were totally turned off because he didn't ask. "He's hot and all, but I don't want any guy just kissing me without asking. Like, what the hell is wrong with him?" I've heard a few statements like that from girls.
fral945 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 See, that's what I always figured, but I've heard stuff come straight out of girls' mouths that doesn't make any sense. One day they'll be crazy for a guy, but when he went in for a kiss they were totally turned off because he didn't ask. "He's hot and all, but I don't want any guy just kissing me without asking. Like, what the hell is wrong with him?" I've heard a few statements like that from girls. You'll learn one day that they don't usually say what they mean.
kashmir Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 You'll learn one day that they don't usually say what they mean. Yeah but what the hell could those girls have possibly REALLY meant? If they meant something different than what they said about asking for a kiss, there's only one thing I can think of. They made those statements as ways to counter any possible thought that they're loose or slutty. Really they want guys to just go in for the kiss, but they won't state that in fear of being labeled a slut, so they pretend that what a guy did was inappropriate. They do this in front of their friends, but when they're with the guy they like they just follow what they REALLY want.
fral945 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Yeah but what the hell could those girls have possibly REALLY meant? If they meant something different than what they said about asking for a kiss, there's only one thing I can think of. They made those statements as ways to counter any possible thought that they're loose or slutty. Really they want guys to just go in for the kiss, but they won't state that in fear of being labeled a slut, so they pretend that what a guy did was inappropriate. They do this in front of their friends, but when they're with the guy they like they just follow what they REALLY want. And as another poster said, if a woman doesn't like a man he will be a creep to her no matter what. OTOH, if she does like him any moves he makes will generally not be met with resistance. Women generally are indirect about most things when it comes to love. They provide clues, innuendo, and signals. It's our job to play detective and decipher them.
angryyoungman70 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 one cardinal rule is you NEVER EVER ask a female if you can kiss her. if she gives you the right signals you go in for the kill without uttering a word... trust me, if she doesn't want a kiss she'll turn her head I agree completely...Paragon Project. Look it up.
belladonna Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Um, don't you have to ask? Guys who just go in for a kiss when the feel it are considered creeps... Don't be silly! If I'm on a date I'd expect the guy to try and kiss me at some point. It's a date, you had to have agreed to it and have some remote interest at least. Well that's how I think. If you're some stranger than yeah that's creepy haha.. Those girls you mentioned in your other post are idiots. Actually, I think your guess about them not wanting to appear slutty to each other is probably close. About asking for a kiss: kind of nerdy, but not a turn-off. I'd prefer for the guy to just do it. It's funner that way
Jersey Shortie Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Some girls are fine with it. But I am turned off when a guy asks me if he can kiss me/hug me. Just man up and do it. If I don't want your kiss, I will back up.
Perry Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 In this particular case, I think it worked in your favor, since you said that she was nervous. She probably appreciated it. She may have thought it was sweet and thoughtful of you, which may have made the kiss for her even better. Never thought of that, have ya? So, yeah, sometimes it is just fine to ask. In fact, in certain cases it is in your favor to do so. If the lady likes him, it won't matter. If not, he'll be a creep (to her) anyway Worth repeating.
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Well just got back from shopping and eating with her...holding hands the whole ride home and we had a nice little kiss session when i dropped her off...looks good guys!!
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