flyerboy48 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up since June. Since then we talk to each other multiple times a day (she calls 90% of the time) and we see each other couple of times a week. She broke up with me because she couldn’t balance work and school and me...at least that’s what she told me. Recently here are some of the things that she said to me that has me confused of are we more than friends? -She says: One of my friends complained to me that I never call but always have time to talk to you everyday. I guess you are lucky. -I say: One of my grandma’s friends asked me if there was wedding bells in the future? Her response: Can’t they just give us time? -While riding in a car with my father she turns to me and says, “I’m teaching your kids how to drive, whether their mine or not.” -She got in an argument with her mom and she told me, “My mom loves you to death but she does not like the idea of you.” (another words her mom doesn’t like when my ex runs off to my family functions) -She said one night: “Well, wouldn’t your wife mind if I come to your parties in the future...unless I am your wife.” -I am so busy with school and work I do not have time to make you happy. Can someone explain to me why a girl, who initiated the break-up, tells me these things. Not only that, she recently spent $100 on my parents for Christmas. She has bought my nieces and nephew gifts. She still comes to family functions. We still go out together (just the 2 of us). We go to church together every week. She still flirts with (makes faces at me, pokes me, calls me a nickname). But every now and then she reminds me ... I know we are growing close again but nothing has changed. What should I think of this? Is she just playing me? Is there a future together? Should I just go NC and see what happens?
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Damn, what a seriously weird situation. The best mode of action? That's a good question. How bout you ask her straight up WHAT SHE WANTS. That was simple. If she says she wants you, tell her you want to give it a shot too (if thats what you want). If she says she doesn't know, then tell her you want to give it a shot and if she doesnt feel that way then you feel its best to cut off all contact to alleviate the pain. (Then cut her off 100% WITHOUT EXCEPTION. Don't be a worthless starving insect, you need to show you have what it takes. Don't ***** out either. Remember the starving desperate insect analogy). If she says she doesn't want to be together, then do the same thing as if she says she doesn't know. Period. Problem solved.
IcemanJB Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 You want confusion? WHILE my ex and I were breaking up, she kept saying "I want to be with you so bad." SHE was the one to come over in tears and eventually needed to break up. She constantly contacted me after the breakup, until I told her to leave me alone a couple weeks ago. To this day I'm not entirely sure of the reasons for the breakup...I have ideas, but that's it. I'm done guessing. What a girl says and what a girl does are completely different things. My ex may have said she really wants to be with me, but her other issues need(ed) attention. I agree with DSM. Talk to her. Let it be known what you want, and if she's hesitant AT ALL, just cut contact with her. Each day helps; I'm sure you've heard that 1000 times. It helped me to tell my ex that I didn't want contact; she was very understanding and kept apologizing for her confusing behavior, saying she wasn't over it either. She never pissed me off, just left me in a confused, hurting mess. I'm doing us both a favor by forcing NC. You need to confront her about this ASAP, it is not fair to yourself to keep going through this.
xero Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Why is it that girls say one thing and mean another? I was told by my ex she wanted to be single for a long time, by her estimation two years or so. Then 3 months later she's telling some other dude she loves him. Something is wrong here.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Yeah xero something is wrong. Something is wrong with her head.
Dmoney28 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 in my personal experience women are very indecisive. They dont know what they want exactly. They make choices based on emotion...while men make choices on logic...this isnt a rule, just a generalization. So no matter how much you try and present your case...she wont change her mind. The more you stay in contact, the longer she is going to be i love you/i love you not. It might be best to take yourself out the situation. NC on your part. Do not answer her calls, txt or e-mails til you are emotionally ready. Do not look at her myspace or facebook page. Take every pic, item or brick-a -brack she every gave you, and box it up. As of right now she is a memory to you. Cry, mope and be sad until the hurt subsides. Dont be suprised if it takes 3 weeks to feel better, and dont be ashamed of the phantom tears out of nowhere. Eventually she will let you know its OVER, OVER...or she wants to come back. Just give it time. Just my 2 cents.
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