TerryTeardrop Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I do not trust my boyfriend of 2 years. Something happened 2 weeks ago that did not make sense at all regarding his ex so I went to her house to ask her. It turns out he was telling the truth and since then I have not heard much from him I know I should trust him but I dont and I know I should not have gone to his ex's house but I had to find out the truth I have apologized to him and he accepted it but I have not heard from him other then when I call him. I last called on Saturday What do I do now?
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Wait to hear from him, and then go from there.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Do you think I will hear from him?
JohnnyBlaze Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 You've already proven that you don't trust him anymore, so now he's trying to figure out where to go from here. If he hasn't called you in another day or two (and he probably won't), give him a call. It's unlikely that he'll have any answers for you, but at least he'll know you really do want to make things right again. Right now, that could make all the difference. Guys are pretty good about letting go of a lot of things: a girlfriend who doesn't trust us isn't one of them. He's going to be very defensive and self-protective for a while. Be prepared for it.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 I dont think he will call
Mary3 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 He wont call. You did a no no by going over there. Even if he calls its likely to say goodbye. I am interested in what happened regarding the ex gf if you care to share.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Thank you for your reply Mary. I saw her in a shop and she made a call on a payphone, I thought I heard her say my boyfriends name and when I called him to say I was in the same shop as her he denied it was him she was on the phone to and said that he could not get hold of her as he wanted to see his son. Then I saw him when I got home and he said he had just helped her with her shopping, I found that odd as he said she did not have her phone with her. I went to her house as it did not make sense and she told me she had called for a taxi and that my boyfriend had turned up when she got home and helped her up with her shopping, I am 100% sure she was not lying I told my bf what I done and he laughed and said that he bets I feel sorry now as he was not lying. We were fine for a few days and now no call since Saturday. I have told him I am sorry for doing it but that I do not trust him and so I had to find out I guess I have blown it
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I think that you probably scared him off. He thought about it for a couple days, decided it was overly-possessive, and didn't really know how to talk to you anymore. Now knowing the background of this "argument," no...I wouldn't call again. Huge oops. Question, though - what reason has he given you before this not to trust him? And by that I mean what VERIFIABLE reason has he given you...not just what situations you have "suspected" him for before...especially considering how your intuition bit you in the butt this time.
Mary3 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Thank you for your reply Mary. I saw her in a shop and she made a call on a payphone, I thought I heard her say my boyfriends name and when I called him to say I was in the same shop as her he denied it was him she was on the phone to and said that he could not get hold of her as he wanted to see his son. Then I saw him when I got home and he said he had just helped her with her shopping, I found that odd as he said she did not have her phone with her. I went to her house as it did not make sense and she told me she had called for a taxi and that my boyfriend had turned up when she got home and helped her up with her shopping, I am 100% sure she was not lying I told my bf what I done and he laughed and said that he bets I feel sorry now as he was not lying. We were fine for a few days and now no call since Saturday. I have told him I am sorry for doing it but that I do not trust him and so I had to find out I guess I have blown it Something IS fishy here. Either she WAS talking to him on the payphone and denied to you she was and he denied also because they are messing around or B ) She really was on the phone with someone else and you imagined it was your bf she was talking to . Now you confronted but either way you lose because they have distanced themselves from you. Lesson learned. Don't go popping over to peoples houses to check out stories. You scared him away.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 He wasn't lying, it was me imagining it. I know this by her reaction and they are just not liking each other like that anymore. I truly believed that he was lying, none of it made sense, I was so shocked when I was told I was wrong. He still has not called and I dont expect him to, but after 3 years and the sh*t I have been through with him and it was his fault I am shocked he is doing this to me. The reason I do not trust him is that he lets me down all the time, he says he will come around to my apartment and does not turn up and no call, he says he will call me back and not do it and he is just generally really unreliable. As a side note, I did not think (when I went to his ex's) that he was cheating with her I just thought he was lying about the phone call and wanted to catch him out I guess
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 OK,aren't you upset, though, that he went to her home that same day,whether they spoke on the phone or not, to help her with her shopping?I mean,did she need help putting her stuff away or something? Why are they hanging out like this, your boyfriend at his ex's home, and him helping her with her "shopping"?????? I think you need to be worried about this,too????
Mary3 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 He wasn't lying, it was me imagining it. I know this by her reaction and they are just not liking each other like that anymore. I truly believed that he was lying, none of it made sense, I was so shocked when I was told I was wrong. He still has not called and I dont expect him to, but after 3 years and the sh*t I have been through with him and it was his fault I am shocked he is doing this to me. The reason I do not trust him is that he lets me down all the time, he says he will come around to my apartment and does not turn up and no call, he says he will call me back and not do it and he is just generally really unreliable. As a side note, I did not think (when I went to his ex's) that he was cheating with her I just thought he was lying about the phone call and wanted to catch him out I guess He was treating you more like a booty call than a gf. A real bf calls and respects you, showing up when he says. A guy who uses you just shows up when he feels like it. Sounds like you did not lose much.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I'd say good riddance, then, Terry. I was married to a man for 4 years that did the stuff you mentioned - saying he would do something and then just simply not doing it. He STILL does it. All I can say is thank God I'm not dealing with that anymore - it can be someone else's problem. I think when somebody's okay with being flaky it's not something that can ever easily be changed.
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