UnamedSeven Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Hey. I've posted my situation here a few times before and i really need someone else's opinion on this thing. Any and all help is great!! Ok, I really don't want to go into the past, and i will keep this as brief as possible. (The really dumb thought that my mind was eroded by) : I really wanted to do whatever would make the girl i like, happy, so that it would make me happy too. I had got this girl that i really felt was 'the one', together with my best friend. One of the stupidest mistakes of my life . I don't mean to leave so many details out, but it hurts to look back. before this, she seemed to be into me, enough so that we had a very, very, small (12 hour) relationship that went beyond a friendship. She said that she liked my best friend, and i was hurt but it was nothing compared to how i felt/feel currently. Since then (June of this year was when i got them together) me and her have had some really tough arguments over the past and over things we don't even remember. But now, we've become closer and are having some really good times together. Its just, when me and her fought, she saw everything about me. Now that we're not fighting, my old feelings for her, have resurfaced and are killing me on the inside. I'm almost convinced that she knows me, better than i do). Which, i believe, has ended every possible chance of a relationship between me and her. I can't tell her any of this, because she tells her boyfriend (hes still my best friend) everything. And, this could be really awkward for all 3 of us. Which would result into something very terrible happening. All of me is hurt because there was never anything official between me and her. All of this year, i wanted there to be something between us, and i didn't even mention it, until March. I don't even think she wants there to be anything more than just a close friendship with me. In which case, i really want to stop being her friend, so that i can put an end to my feelings for her. I implore anyone to please help. I feel terrible and i don't want to live with the pain of her not liking me the way i do anymore.
Cub Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Man, that's rough. I wish I could concoct some circuitous scheme to end this in your favor (something worthy of Lite ), but I fear that all I can offer is my sympathy, and tell you that "the one" doesn't exist. There are plenty of girls out there who'll be just as, if not more, compatible with you, and you won't have to worry about them being attracted to your best mate. And since this guy is your best friend, I doubt you will be able to truly distance yourself from his relationship with the girl you want, so you need something to fill the void. Don't just find something you like, find something you LOVE - become obsessed with it, like great geniuses are with their subject of choice. If you can find something that fills the part of you rented out to her, then you'll be able to kick her from your heart, with a fair amount of distance between the two of you at the same time. You may want to stick with your friend, and he may talk about her to you, but you don't have to interact with her directly. If she asks through him, just say you've been busy with your hobby/obsession. Heh, great double-edged sword, that. But it's most important that you don't let this drag down the rest of your life. I let my last unrequited relation seep into every aspect of my life, and I'm still picking up the pieces. Not fun. You'll be fine though, dude. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not for a couple of months, but you will be alright!
Author UnamedSeven Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Thanks for the response, i never really approached this situation by looking at it like that. Its really weird because i am next to positive that i would be fine, if me and her were never going to have something again. If there is just one thing i have learned, its that the truth doesn't hurt nearly as much as not finding out. Although, i have tried NC various times, and it has led to me bumping into her at school. I spent a lot of time devising a new way for me to get to my classes, without being able to see her. We don't have any classes at all together but we see each other in the hallways about 3 or 4 times everyday.
Cub Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 If you see her, just do the "hi and bye" maneuver. It doesn't take much; she approaches you, you wave and smile, then say you're in a hurry and duck out of there. Doesn't matter where you go, but if she's following you, there's always the bathroom.
Author UnamedSeven Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 lol yeah. The only thing is, even today, i walked with her to her next class (we always did it). So, i couldn't exactly just say, "Oh hey, im in a rush so yeah, bye" and get away with it every time. She'd question me b4 i could do anything. Sigh. I'm really conflicted with this. Its like, one minute, I'm invincible. The next, I'm completely invulnerable and its been like this since she she entered my life. I'm used to it, but its not how i used to be.
SierraRose Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Don't ever f*ck over your friend for a girl. You are young and chances are, your friendship will out last the girl...
Author UnamedSeven Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Update: When we normally walk to class, i didn't/couldn't say a word. She kept on poking me and asking what was wrong (I could tell that she had no idea and i knew she didn't care too much because she didn't sound concerned in the slightest). I was almost crying because i really wanted to just run away from everything. I came to the conclusion, last night, that i really need some time away from her. So that i can accept her so that there won't be anymore of these problems in the future. Right before i walked with her to class, i did miserably on a test in my Math class. I'm talking, like a 15 is what i got.
Recommended Posts