Kamille Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I think I'm depressed... And it's strange, the thing that made me realize just how unlike myself I have been is that yesterday, I felt great. I felt like myself. A great day made me realize how long it had been since I had felt great - but reminded me that I pretty much used to feel that way all the time. I'm noticing that I doubt everything I do. I always fear that people will misinterpret what I will have to say. This is the result of a year where I went through 5 conflicts at work with 5 different people on 5 different issues. It's made me question myself a lot. Since those coworkers I had issues with were also friends, the falling outs at work have had an impact on all my relationships. I'm more needy with the friends I do have. I easily feel abandoned. I easily feel isolated. I looked into getting counselling at school. I just have to get to that first apointment. Unfortunately, the first apointment is on a first come first served basis, where the average wait is two hours; and continued consultation afterwards isn't garanteed (as it's an overworked and underfunded clinic, they take the most serious cases first). Needless to day, I have yet to make time for such a daunting apointment. What I would like to hear are tips and stories of people who managed to pull themselves out of negative thought patterns.
Author Kamille Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Another thing that's happening is that I don't know who to talk to anymore. I've learned not to talk about my problems at work with colleagues, but my friends don't really understand my work and the kind of conflicts and politics there (hell, I don't understand it, so I how could they?)
pandagirl Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Hey Kamille, I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling so great these days. I'm going to recommend a book to you. Believe me, I'm not one for "self-help" books, but my therapist suggested I read this and it's pretty great. The people who wrote this book are all very highly regarded psychologists and experts on depression, so it isn't some pop psychology book. It really works, or at least helps you understand that's going on and how to help you get better.
Author Kamille Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Thanks Panda, I've read a few pages on-line and I decided to order it. I especially liked the way they described the causes of depression: loss, humiliation, conflict. I relate to all three. One of the things that triggered my depression is that I'm way too invested in my work, which makes it difficult for me to handle conflict there.
Ariadne Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Hi Kamille, It seems like you care too much what people say that you have stopped being yourself. You care so much about your work that you have put yourself in a role and have lost your naturalness. That's why you are depressed.
Author Kamille Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 Hi Kamille, It seems like you care too much what people say that you have stopped being yourself. You care so much about your work that you have put yourself in a role and have lost your naturalness. That's why you are depressed. Ariadne! Haven't crossed you here in awhile. I missed you! And your words nearly made me cry. Yes I agree, I have lost my naturalness and I do care too much what people at work think of me. How are you??? (If I may off-topic my own thread for a minute).
Ariadne Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Ariadne! Haven't crossed you here in awhile. I missed you! And your words nearly made me cry. Yes I agree, I have lost my naturalness and I do care too much what people at work think of me. How are you??? (If I may off-topic my own thread for a minute). Hey, I haven't seen you around much either and missed you too. Well, you went and made that persona, at least if that persona worked but it seems like is flawed and giving you trouble. Sometimes you think that being yourself people are not going to like you but they tend to like you more. Because when you are natural you make them natural and at ease too. I've been ok I guess, had a car accident last week and posted about it in the off-topic thread. But my car is in the shop now and the insurance is taking care. Other than that, I'm going to South Am on Monday! Yey
JamesM Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Kamille, you are one of the posters I enjoy kidding around with when we meet on a thread. (Who will close THIS thread? ) I want you to know that I will be looking for your updates on your feelings. I do feel sympathy for you having to deal with depression. I have been there. Honestly, it can be difficult to pinpoint one actual thing that ended my depression(s). I do know that they usually occurred because of alot of uncertainty or stress in my life. This caused major anxiety and depression. Sometimes the depression resulted from internal anger at my life and others. I never used antidepressants, but I have seen them do wonders to others who have been in a depression. What has worked for me can be put down to two things...resolution of the event(s) that caused the depression or a book timely read. And I cannot say that any particular book works every time. The one recommended may be the one that will give you hope again, or it may be another. Personally, when I have been depressed, then I have gone to the local bookstore or the library and began looking at the many self-help books. Usually one has some words of wisdom that gives me an "Ahah!" moment, so I read it. As a result, I feel hope again which in turn gives me some ideas for resolving my situation that caused me depression. So, you will beat this depression. We all get them at times, and most of the depression diminishes when we see some hope for our future. If it does not resolve itself within a month or so, then I would consider counseling or medication. Personally, I think most depressions can be resolved with other means. Coming here is one good step for finding the reason and solution for your depression. I will be thinking of you, and feel free to PM me for some wisecracks and attempts at advice.
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