Nikki Sahagin Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Giving in to a donut only hurts yourself. HUGE disparity there. If someone can't see beyond their pubic area to the people they will hurt with their actions, then they shouldn't be in a relationship. Well firstly if you get DEEPLY into it, any action always effects someone/something if we are to believe everything interconnects. If that one donut rises your colesterol and you die then that will hurt your family. BUT I am being DEEP into it so yes I take your point. I think you've touched on it though. Many people SHOULDN'T be in relationships. BUT most people want to be. Sometimes people think they can be all those things but realise they are swimming against the tide. People usually don't INTEND to screw up, they just do. Relationships are usually constant work, constant effort. Unlike a job where your salary is constant and regular, relationship rewards are measured differently (a kiss, sex, conversation) which are not always regular or constant. Also people do all sorts of things to hurt each other in relationships, perhaps not intentionally but i.e. someone works too much, someone doesn't enjoy sex at much, picks fights - it all hurts. Affairs/cheating is obviously far greater and i'm not condoning it because I despise it but I fully understand how/why it happens. Everyone wants love from someone which is why most people enter relationships but of course it's in those relationships that you mess up, make mistakes, learn. And no matter what your age/years of a relationship - you can still get confused about what you want, lose focus, make a mistake and yes hurt people but the biggest person you usually hurt is yourself I always think.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 Also if people are capable of hurting themselves, it seems logical to assume they are quite capable of hurting others.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 And if someone were to get REALLY deep into a subject and rationalize it to death, they can make anything seem okay. Ah but as I told you I don't agree with cheating, I hate it - but I think you have to understand it. It's so common, it's not going away, to just condemn people I disagree with. I'm trying to understand it.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 30, 2008 Posted December 30, 2008 I think I understand it perfectly. It's about what someone wants regardless how it may hurt someone else. The donut, for example. One donut is NOT going to put you in the hospital, NOR make a person gain 100#. However, if you "hook" your partner and then let yourself go down the toilet, i.e. eating donuts every morning, then fast food for lunch, and then gorging yourself at dinner and never exercising you WILL put on possibly 100# and you will most likely hurt your relationship as a result. It is about hurting others yes and also about hurting the self. And people are so complicated. There are a lot of self-destructive, self-sabotaguers in the world for starters.
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