louiep Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 sorry guys but im not strong enough for nc if it takes me 3 years to get over her so be it also if i did nc what about my 2 nephews we raised from babys what would i do about them as far as i know she has no other guy yet
bubblegum Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I read the thread you started yesterday, louiep. I'm sorry this is happening, but am really glad you're reaching out through loveshack. Are you housebound? Do you have friendships other than the one with her?
Author louiep Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 i can drive but cannot walk or stand for very long thats one reason she wants to breakup she has done so much for me and i want her to be happy im in the shock/numb faze but also hurting real bad i have a freind that is much older than me i talk my probelms out with him alot it helps but he from a time when divorce didnt happen that much im so scared of everything right now from being homeless to hurting forever
hereandnow Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I haven't been successful with NC either, louie. It's f***ing difficult. I believe people when they say it's the fastest way to heal, but f*** it. I hear ya man. Hang in there.
bubblegum Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Well the only thing you can do right now is focus on one thing at a time, primarily taking care of getting your SSI and finding living arrangements. Is homelessness a real possibility? Sounds like you are civil with her, and she's said you can stay with her until you find a place to live, right? That's good. Don't slack on getting the SSI, etc., because if she sees you doing that her patience might wear out. In fact, the more she sees you taking care of "business" the more impressed she'll be. Good, talk as much as you can with your friend, even if he doesn't believe in divorce. Let him know you really need someone to listen to your fears and heartache, even if he disagrees or doesn't understand them. And post here as much as you can too, it's surprising how much it helps. Don't think about NC right now, it's not realistic at this point. Expect the numbness and sadness to continue, fight the urges to plead with her to stay together (they will come if they haven't already), and try to set up as many support systems as possible to help you deal with the depression that will come. Mention your anxiety and depression to social workers and/or your doctor too, to see if they think medication can help as well as a group or individual therapy-type thing. If there ever has been a time, it is now that you need to reach out as much as possible to other people for assistance.
CaliGuy Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 sorry guys but im not strong enough for nc if it takes me 3 years to get over her so be it also if i did nc what about my 2 nephews we raised from babys what would i do about them as far as i know she has no other guy yet As long as you're ok with being the sole person responsible for keeping YOURSELF in the dumps, go for it.....
Author louiep Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 thanks bg and others. i was divoreced 17 years ago from my first wife this is the second time around . im taking prozac its one of our problems because of e.d. i dont think ill would be homeless as i have lots of family i need my money so i can pay my way the emotions are so up and down one minute your a zombie and one minute your invincable and im so tired i may know something about my ssi this friday wish me luck and excuse my typing louiep
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