I am concerned about my husband's drinking.

[LGS]

My husband and I have been married just over a year. He is nine years older than I, but has never been a bachelor for his whole life. I brought a nine year old into our marriage and am previously divorced. Up until the time we were married, my husband drank every night like a college boy. Maybe not to the point of passing out, but he would down a six pack easily every night. I started to notice that if there was any alcohol around, it didn't last long if he was there.

Since we have been married his drinking and tolerance have been an issue. He doesn't drink a six pack a night, but he still has to have one in the fridge and often waits until my daughter and I leave to go to our class, and then drinks a couple. To anyone else, this may seem fine, but he has anxiety problems that are non-medicated, AND... even after just two, he is pretty buzzed and I am unable to communicate with him. He cannot follow a conversation. I have tried to tell him how this scares me and I do not like it, but he won't stop. He doesn't see a problem, or logical reason behind my worries, so he ignores me. We both have alcoholics in our family. We are in the process of buying a home and starting a family.

Am I outta line? Or is there a problem here?

LGS

[Winnie B.]

It`s a problem which can be solved.

But you need to solve it .

 

Talk to him seriously while he is not drunk and buzzed.Explain him your fears and tell him he should stop it .

It`s easy to advise ,I know, and harder to make it,but you can help the situation.I do not believe its hopeless .

[JackJack]

You may get replies where some people tell you his drinking doesn't sound like an issue, however if you feel it is, then it probably is.

 

I think some people associate drinking with people who get drunk ALL the time or who stay out at bars until all hours or pass out etc. Alot of people can have actual drinking problems and not be hard core alcoholics. If his drinking is right often and makes it hard to communicate then it needs to be addressed ASAP, because this is NOT something that will get better on its own.

[Artu]

There is almost always some background,maybe even subconscious,that makes a person start drinking .You may just fail to see it so easily.

First of all , get to know of that background(=reason,cause) ,

and you will get the right answer.. yourself.

[EnigmasMuse]

Would he be up for some counseling? He has brought some kind of unresolved issue to the marriage that was there before you all even met. the bad part is, it wont just get better and it does need to be delt with. The first step for him is admitting he has some kind of problem then trying to tackle what that might be that is causing him to feel the need to self medicate.