Win her trust and prove to her that I want to spend the rest of my life with her

[hark0100]

I need help. 16 months ago I split up with my wife we were having lots of problems that we couldnt resolve. 5 months after we separated I started dating and we moved in together after a couple months of seeing each other every day. We dated for 9 months and we had lots of problems in the last 4 months of our relationship. 3 days after we split up my wife called me to see if I wanted to meet up with her. We went out and talked for a long time and we started working things out over a month and a bit and I was having problems as it was not truely knowing where my emotions were and she made a couple comments to me when i was trying to figure out if I could forgive her for some of the things she had done. I was so confused and mixed up that I went back to my girlfriend. After 2 weeks of being with her I started piecing things together and I realized it was her that I loved. I had a long chat with her last night and she had said even though I already knew that she was kinda seeing someone and that person is a friend of ours that I have known for years who just split up with his wife 3 months ago. I told her that I wanted her back, she said I don't know. I am not sure if I can ever forgive you for what you have done. How can I win her trust and prove to her that I want to spend the rest of my life with her?

[jenny]

i'm a bit confused. which one did you want back?

[hark0100]

I want to win back my wife she means so much too me.

[jenny]

hmm..would she agree to seeing a counsellor with you?

[hark0100]

I am not sure, I told her I would work on my problems and there's a program called choices that she really believe in that helps people with their own problems and I told her I would go but even after that she isnt sure if she'll give me a chance.

[hark0100]

Well I have been able to talk with her and I got signed up in the choices program which she says does is 5 days what counsellors take a year to get so the money doesnt bother me. She said to me that seeing me willing to do whatever it takes is a big step and will prove a lot to her. Since that we are now talking and when she comes by to drop off the kids she sits down before work and we talk a bit before she goes. I have a good feeling everything will work out in time. I think it's gonna be a long process but she is definately worth it and thanx everyone for the helpful suggestions.