Ex GF starts calling 1 and 1/2 years later

[Cyrus Seven]

Hey all, alright where to begin. First off to give you a basis I'm 21. I dated this girl for 3 and 1/2 years. The reason she says she ended it was because she couldn't handle the distance of her moving away to NY and still being with me while we went to college. I can completely understand that but my personal feeling has always been that she wanted to experience more guys before she decides to settle down...which I guess is also understandable. Anyway we talked off and on the first half a year we were broken up which mostly consisted of one of us wanting the other back and what not, but to make a long story short she stopped calling me after that 6th month mark in anger(anything she could blame on me to make her hate me). Now, its been a year and a half since we broke up and she has started calling again. The kicker here is that I really loved her with all my heart, and after all this time I was to the point I figured we could be friends again. WRONG. She calls me every day on the phone like we used to when we were 16 lol. Ive also clearly picked up on some of the games shes been playing such as trying to find out if iI still like her, and if I feel that one day we will ever get back together. She has also started talking about her sex life more or less. At first it didn't bother me, but now I realize I cant handle it. Its exceedingly painful to hear about her sleeping with other guys when I still love her a lot. At this point I dunno what to do. Im afraid if I tell her we can't be friends because of that then Id loose any shot at ever getting her back, which sadly is what I still want because I love her as much as humanly possible. Should I stick around and suck it up or say bye bye and hope I can be away from her long enough this time to where something as little as her voice can bring all that rushing back.?

 

Also after reading many other threads I thought I'd add that when she said she couldn't handle the distance...at some point she also said that dreaded "I fell out of love with you but I love you." line at some point. Looking at these posts I havent come across a case yet where the couple got back together after that one. It sucks because even though thats how she rationalized it I too had felt the infatuation spark leave, but I just saw it as lust maturing to love, which wasn't how she viewed it at all.

[samspade]

You should neither stick around nor say "bye bye." Instead, just pull back, way back, and stop talking to her. Telling her you're ending contact or not going to be friends won't help you. It will only trigger an argument you cannot win, and one that will make you look like the lesser man.

 

By opting for silence (not answering your phone, not responding to IMs and emails), you are quietly sending her the message that you respect yourself too much to be her girlfriend with a penis. Because if she's telling you about her sex life, she either wants to get a rise out of you (immature) or thinks you can handle it as a platonic friend (not what you want).

 

You're right, your shot at getting her back is very low. It sounds like her interest in you, romantically, is practically nil. Don't even worry about that, worry about your emotional well-being and the fact that you need to 86 this chick from your life. Again: Do not tell her of your plans. If she persists, trust me, she'll come across the fool and you'll be the bigger man and able to move on.

[Oscar51]

She isn't your GF anymore. You owe her nothing, especially an explanation. Let your actions do the talking for you.

[Faded]

at some point she also said that dreaded "I fell out of love with you but I love you." line at some point. Looking at these posts I havent come across a case yet where the couple got back together after that one.

 

My ex said it.

 

She came back to me. I stopped trying.

[SierraRose]

It sounds to me like she is chasing a ghost. As a woman, if it were me and I wanted my man back?? I'd get in my car and go get him! Talk is cheap.