search116 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I ended a relationship with my GF about a week ago, we had been together for 6 years. Previously, I had been married for 5, split up with my wife who was having an affair. My GF is a caring and loving person, but i felt selfish seeing as she wanted to have children and a family, we're both in our early thirties. I'm not ready, not for marriage again, and I had 2 kids from my ex-wife, so I'm not ready for any more children either. I don't know if i ever will be. About a month ago, we had an arguement about this. She never pestered me about it or anything, but i knew it was bothering her. She's the total home maker type that would just like to stay home, clean house, and take care of the family. She works part time and was helping with the bills and stuff at the time though. We both played this MMO called World of Warcraft together, but lately she was getting really friendly with this certain guy. I don't know how funny this sounds, but she seemed to pay particular attention to him, and it was getting to me, kind of reminded me of how my marriage ended. Last week, there was a text to her cell phone. I usually don't check on her phone, i don't screen her calls, i'm really not the jealous type at all, but it was early morning and it kept beeping so i went to turn it off. I noticed in the mini screen that the name was the guy from the game. So i opened it to find a mushy text, one that was pretty intimate. She noticed and then asked me if i wanted to talk about it, i really didn't. She denied everything, saying that he's just playing around and didn't really mean it. Things were said, the kids and marriage stuff came up again. I finally told her to leave. She took all her stuff and was gone. Since then, I have to move out of my apartment because i was co-dependant on the bills with her, so im going to live with my friend. I'm going to move, back to my family, quit my job, start a new life hopefully. I feel i've screwed it up so bad. I can't help to think that maybe i'm being irrational, i don't know. Should i tell her where i'm moving to? Maybe i just need time to answer all the questions for me. I don't know what to do. She was such a great person, I know if i told her that i wanted to work things out we could get back together, but something that day inside me kept telling me to let her go. What do i do?
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 First mistake: Playing WoW. (Lol sorry, had to. But no, really, quit that game immediately). Secondly, you have a right to get upset to some degree. Where did this guy live? Was he really a threat? This is a truly odd situation. If only you had more details, I'd be able to assess a better judgment.
Dmoney28 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 First of all WOW is the devil....Burning Crusade. the Wrath of Lich King. I played that game for a year...and it pissed off my GF to no end and i quit. But you guys both play..so i guess thats diffrent. But honestly....its a txt from a avatar of a MMO..how serious could it be. I know its still bad...but I'm guessing she has never seen a actual pic of him. But it seems like you guys had bigger issues than WOW...like the whole kids marriage situation. You kinda need to be on the same track as far as your future...if not, you're heading down a path of pain and hurt. Take some time to clear your head. Can you be happy with other kids and being married?...if not, maybe its best you guys went you're seperate ways. PS...aliance or horde..class and lvl...sorry, i just wanted to know, lol
Dmoney28 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 hmmm....me and DSM actually agreed on something...we both agree WOW is a bad idea
Author search116 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 I haven't touched the game since, i sold my account. I pretty much despise it now. The dude lives in Australia, it's about a 4 hour plane ride from where i am, so he probably isn't. but then again I had a cousin who was in vegas and met her husband on the net when he was in hawaii, so anything's possible. I guess what i need to explain is that we had an argument about him a month ago. From the way i see it, if it were me, if i had contact that made my gf uneasy with another woman and she expressed she was uncomfortable with it and i really cared, i would have ceased all contact with the person. i know it wasn't physical, but the intimacy was there. I kind of feel that she might have been doing it intentionally to get a rise out of me, and i really hate head games, i'm stressed out as it is, i work in the housing market and my job is near the chopping block.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Hell ya dmoney stay away from that mental cancer they call WoW. I agree with you though dmoney on another thing... that the problem is bigger than WoW. WoW was a front, it seems. The real problem could be mistrust, or jadedness from the previous relationship, which resurfaced as a result of WoW. Should you try to get her back? I don't know. I need to hear more details on why you would want her back. If she was doing things to get a rise out of you then she's either: A). Crazy B). Getting a huge lack of attention/affection/emotion from you C). Both A and B. Mostly A.
Author search116 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 Well, there was i time i took a break from it, I tried to get her attention to sit with me and watch TV, or go out and do something, but she was busy with the game, so i feel i tried. but yeah, that's twice this has happened, people keep saying that i didn't do anything wrong, but i feel like I have, I don't know what it is. And of course they're friends/family and are biased.
Dmoney28 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I agree. I think she used this inccident to "get back" at you for the whole no kids and marriage argument. She knew it would piss you off. If she was trying to hide something like a secret online "affair"...that cell would be OFF, had a password protection and been in her car. No way she would have left it where you had access to it. It sounds like she wanted you to see it. And i sold my account as well...120 dollars
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I agree with you dmoney in a way. But that is a big leap of assumption at the same time. She may just be a fool, whether be a fool in terms of trusting too much, or a fool in terms of stupidity. The fact she left her phone out in the open can just as easily represent that she felt there was nothing to hide in the first place, and that it was truly nothing. We don't know enough dmoney to truly assess the situation. I don't even know if the OP does. But OP I'm sure you did mess up. To think you are innocent in a relationship is foolish. I've made 100's of mistakes in every relationship I've been in, as I'm sure dmoney did, and everyone else here has too. You should just take time to realize them and consider how to correct them for the future. Relationships are the most painful learning processes... heh, you thought learning mathmatics was an uphill learning battle? Love 101 is the one you really should be stressing over.
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