KunFuZed Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 We have been friends for over 10 years and thru out my life she has been my bully but thru the years we remained friends. She recently relocated to the state I live in. She clamis she was having problems with the family she was staying with. Her husband/ father of her child' family. She never really gave any details just said there where problems and she needs to get out of that house. She asked if we could room together and she was so persistant and refused to take no. I didn't want to live with her for many reasons. 1) She hardly ever spends time with her son always leaving him with someone. I think that was a major player in the problems in that house. She just leaves the child and don't inform any one, as long as there is an adult in the house she's gone. I don't want to be her personal stay at home baby sitter. I'm a grown woman with things to do and a life to live. I'm young with no responsibilities and I want to have my fun. 2) I didn't know what the problems were exactly and I didn't want to get myself involved in anything I had no businsess being in and/or couldn't find my self out of. So she moves to a neighborhood 30 mins from her husbands family and 3 mins away from me. She's lived there for 4 days. She moved in fri and didn't see her son that whole day and I watched her son saturday and she has asked me if I could watch him again on monday claiming she had a problem with the babysitter. I am currently unemployed and I get random interviews or I'm out looking for a job. She's not paying me to watch her kid but she feels she has no where to turn and no one to help her. I don't want her to feel she can jus drop her kid off on me whenever while she gets to run free so I tell her no. She's not paying me and she's inhibiting me from finding a job cause he's a young child that can't be left alone. Am I wrong for telling her no?
beautifulearth83 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I don't know the situation as much as you do, so it's really up to you. But I don't think you're wrong by telling her no. Absolutely not. I think the most important thing for you to do is focus on your life and getting a job. If you are young with no responsibilities, then this is your time to grow and shape your life how you want to. Bullies and controlling people can be hard to deal with. If you tell her yes again and again, it's only going to get worse. Don't be afraid to say no and set some boundaries. Just tell her you've got things you need to focus on in your life right now. There's nothing wrong with helping others and being a friend. But if it's draining for you, a true friend and somebody who respects you would understand.
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