How important is it to indicate you are in a relationship in facebook/myspace?

[crazysnail]

Is it an important thing to you, that your partner acknowledges or indicates that he/she is "in a relationship" on the relationship status section of a social networking site like myspace or facebook?

 

The reason I asked this is because my ex never indicated he was "in a relationship" in his fb when we were together. When I mentioned this to him once he said that it wasn't important and that it's such a small thing. At the time I just took his answer as it was since I trusted him but it would still hurt me a bit whenever I saw that "single" word in his status section.

 

Maybe I'm too emotional but now that I think about it if it really was such a small issue why didn't he change it if only to make me happy?

 

I guess just a post break-up question to see what you guys out there think. Wasn't sure whether to put this in the break up forum but since it occurred when I was dating him I felt it was more relevant here.

[Gremio]

If it wasn't a big deal, then he should have changed it to ease your thoughts. I believe it is important. He technically is lying to the world about his status by leaving it as single.

[Star Gazer]

My ex never changed his either, and it bothered me... a LOT.

[zenith]

women....

[berrieh]

If you're together, and the person keeps the profile up-to-date in other ways (logs in, etc), then they should update it to the proper status.

 

I don't have a MS or FB. But I think it's false representation to not have the status properly updated, and I cannot imagine why someone wouldn't update it.

[kashmir]

Wow, people care that much about myspace or facebook?

 

Actually, now that I think of it, relationships status seems to be a primary reason people check facebook. I remember my facebook used to say single, but then for whatever reason I decided to take it down so it didn't say anything. Under the news feed it came up as, "Kashmir is no longer single," and I swear that at least 6 people made comments that were like, "omg, who is she?!" I was really surprised that people actually cared that much. To humor them all I made a makeshift page for my dog and put myself as being in a relationship with her.

[Winnie B.]

Once there is such an option on some network site to show your status able to read ,

then it`s proper to show it properly the way it is .

 

 

Once a guy clicks "single" in his status while he is engaged in real ,

that makes to think ....

[D-Jam]

Meh...it doesn't bother me unless she's doing things that make me question it.

 

So if I see her flirting with guys in the comments/wall areas...and she's still listed as "single"...then I'd be concerned.

 

I personally am of the type that I don't want to worry about IF she'll cheat on me or "BBD" me. I'd rather just find out, and then know what kind of person she is, rather than waste time wondering.

[serialgf]

in my last relationship, my bf and i finally updated our status after like 4 months of serious dating. before that, his said single and mine said swinger. it was actually pretty funny we talked about the possibility of our changing our statuses and how it wasn't really a big deal to either of us, but i guess he hadn't actually looked at what my status was, for when he saw swinger that's when he insisted that we change our statuses to IN A RELATIONSHIP! haha!

 

(btw my status was swinger b/c that's what my ex before him and i had decided on setting ours as)

 

in my current relationship, we've been dating for almost three months. i've asked him once about why don't we connect ourselves in a relationship on facebook (i said it in a very light-hearted funny way because it's not really that important to me) and he seemed freaked out by this so i dropped it. on facebook, i like that there's an option to not put any relationship status on there so that's what i do. i must say it would bother me if either of us had our status as SINGLE. no info, however, is cool with me - i don't want people all up in my biz-naz and neither does my bf

[Artu]

Agreeing with Winnie B,

If there is this option to show your status,then it`s very Not right to click "single" while you are not the one.

[Jims555]

as a guy, i think people in general put too much emphasis on myspace and facebook.

 

a female friend of mine was crying one day because she got "de-friended" on myspace. what did it turn out to be? an accident...

 

these sites bring out the most sophomoric behavior out of grown adults, it's pathetic.

 

actions speak louder than words, in this case pixels. if it really bothers you, playfully, not seriously or you'll give off a jealous GF vibe, bring up that your BF is still "single".

 

but, if you two aren't dating exclusively, and the words "boyfriend" and girlfriend" aren't being used by BOTH of you, i see no reason for him to change it.

[shadyp]

ok my tw*t of a BF dint put himself down as in a relationship...

after a few problems i ended up blocking him on FB. Now i know he has blocked me....

Also i found out he had added a flirt application-now why wud u go do that if u had a gal already...see what i mean its jus asking for trouble. facebook instigates temptation.

for the record things aint good between me n the guy-not spoken for 3 days, when i confront him he ignores me so i am out at the weekend with an old flame of mines...in retaliation of course.

 

end line: yes guys u shud put if u are in a relationship--us girls r sensitive about things like that and well if your suggesting ur single ur asking for trouble.

[kashmir]

ok my tw*t of a BF dint put himself down as in a relationship...

after a few problems i ended up blocking him on FB. Now i know he has blocked me....

Also i found out he had added a flirt application-now why wud u go do that if u had a gal already...see what i mean its jus asking for trouble. facebook instigates temptation.

for the record things aint good between me n the guy-not spoken for 3 days, when i confront him he ignores me so i am out at the weekend with an old flame of mines...in retaliation of course.

 

end line: yes guys u shud put if u are in a relationship--us girls r sensitive about things like that and well if your suggesting ur single ur asking for trouble.

 

This is kinda funny. It shows how high school/college drama has gone totally digital.

 

"I'm going to FB break up with you if you don't stop using the perfect match application with Kevin!"

 

"NO! Our FB relationship means so much! You can't just double click and end it!"

[openbook08]

as a guy, i think people in general put too much emphasis on myspace and facebook.

 

a female friend of mine was crying one day because she got "de-friended" on myspace. what did it turn out to be? an accident...

 

these sites bring out the most sophomoric behavior out of grown adults, it's pathetic.

 

actions speak louder than words, in this case pixels. if it really bothers you, playfully, not seriously or you'll give off a jealous GF vibe, bring up that your BF is still "single".

 

but, if you two aren't dating exclusively, and the words "boyfriend" and girlfriend" aren't being used by BOTH of you, i see no reason for him to change it.

 

ok i wanna quote kashmir as well but i dunno how to quote two people! i know i know imagine in an age where your facebook rship status is a hot topic i cant cyber quote more than one person!!

 

i wouldve been on the crazysnail train before my break up but now i see what a total misrepresentation of life networking sites like FB are. id rather get real & not sweat the small stuff! not making light of what any of you are feeling which way or whether(because i used to feel the same) maybe its just cos where i come from FB wouldnt be considered or used for "meeting" people, as in hook ups etc. anyway i deleted mine and am so much happier without it. IF i was to ever reactivate it id keep my rship status private.

[LoveLace]

I'd be bothered by it, especially if he was updating everything else like a blog or pictures, etc...and if he argued it that much it would make me wonder if there was someone he didn't want to seem unavailable to...

 

That or changing it might make him feel more committed than he really wanted to be...and covered it up with the old "it's such a small thing.."

[Star Gazer]

Here's the thing. If my BF had "in a relationship" on his page, I'd interpret any comments left by his female friends MUCH differently than if it said "single." Perhaps I'm naive, but since women can see he's in a relationship with me and I'm right there on the page obviously watching, I'd assume that their comments were strictly friendly in nature because MOST people wouldn't blatantly flirt in public with someone they know to be in a relationship in front of their SO.

 

However, if his status remained "single," I'd assume that they were, in fact, trying to flirt with him rather than just being friendly. I'd also assume that he WANTED them to flirt with him, and that's why he hadn't changed his status. This is why it bothers me.

 

I also think that if it's "no big deal" and "silly" and whatnot, that if I want it to say "in a relationship" than he should make it say so.

 

I'm also a strong believer of wanting to show of one's SO. So I'd also expect to be in the pictures he posts.

[LoveJonesRomance]

I never show my relationship status on FB and I seem to date people who couldn't care less about Myspace/Facebook, not to mention what relationship status I have on.

[fral945]

OMG! I know what you mean! BTW, my BFF changed her MySpace to "In a Relationship" and I was like WTF??!!! They're official now! It was, like, so cool! Her BF is soooo much better than those guys say "Single" and have a GF!

 

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, I think it important that people acknowledge their status online, of any kind, regardless if it's social networking or not. If someone isn't doing it, there's a reason for it, of which none are acceptable.

 

When people go online, strange things happen to their conscience. The "it's not real" mentality takes over and they cheat but pretend they're not cheating, since it's not real...it's only a crush...it's not physical, etc, etc.

 

I wouldn't trust anyone who doesn't acknowledge a relationship. It either tells me they don't honestly think it's a relationship or that they're not committed. Avoid at all costs!

[crazysnail]

Wow thanks guys for all the different types of responses - gives me a lot of different perspectives to reflect on

 

We were in a serious 6 month relationship - We'd met each other's friends and he'd met my family etc. It wasn't like I asked him about the status thing on fb straight after we started dating but about 3 months after.

 

To be fair, I hadn't changed my status either but that was because I was waiting for him to change his and I didn't want to do it it he wasn't going to reciprocate.

 

In hindsight my theory is that he was prob unsure about the relationship - seems like he'd been going cold about 4 months into it whereas I was getting more and more into it lol how mistaken I was!

[Gremio]

I'd be bothered by it, especially if he was updating everything else like a blog or pictures, etc...and if he argued it that much it would make me wonder if there was someone he didn't want to seem unavailable to...

 

That or changing it might make him feel more committed than he really wanted to be...and covered it up with the old "it's such a small thing.."

 

Exactly. I'm male, mid 20s. I agree with you 100%.