loveinlife Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I feel that the girl im dating is getting a little disinterested in our conversations. we have pauses during our talks on the phone... feels different.... i asked her if something is wrong? she said no... everything is okay... maybe its me? what are some signs?
IrishCarBomb Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 You start searching for signs that she's going to break up with you. I don't mean it as a joke either... your gut reactions can be incredibly insightful and accurate. A feeling that she's going to leave can often be due to numerous subtle cues indicating it.
Author loveinlife Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 You start searching for signs that she's going to break up with you. I don't mean it as a joke either... your gut reactions can be incredibly insightful and accurate. A feeling that she's going to leave can often be due to numerous subtle cues indicating it. i see what you mean. im getting subtle cues that she getting less interested... dunno if its my insecurities but it seems different.... hopefully its nothing major, maybe she's having a bad day... but i asked her and she said she is doing good.... so yeah feeling kinda blah right now...
BlueHarvest Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Rule #1: Avoid saying "is anything wrong?" ...especially avoid saying it multiple times. If you say it once, don't say anything about it again for awhile. Rule #2: Listen to HER. You'd be amazed how many guys don't let their SO's talk. Rule #3: Ask her questions. It's easier to be a listener and then provide statements then it is to be the talker. And women have lots to talk about. If your conversation comes to a stop and you can't think of anything within 3 seconds. End the conversation, it shows deciveness. Don't be curt about it, but end it none the less.
lino Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Doesn't sound good for you mate. They'll never tell you something is wrong either, they'll just one day tell you that 'everythings fine, your such a cool guy, bla bla but I don't see it going anywhere' - which to me makes no sense because something is obviously wrong if things are going nowhere!
PrincessPeach Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Rule #1: Avoid saying "is anything wrong?" ...especially avoid saying it multiple times. If you say it once, don't say anything about it again for awhile. Very true. If you ask us what's wrong, it's likely we won't even tell you that something is wrong even if it is. I'm not exactly sure to the reasoning behind this, but we expect you to know or figure out on your own (which is ridiculous because that almost never happens and sometimes isn't even possible). If you ask multiple times... forget it. Each time you ask is another nail in the coffin. If it's something that will pass, then it will pass on its own. The best bet is to look at yourself if you think something is wrong and evaluate it from there because she isn't going to give you any help. If she had a prblem that she'd tell you about by you asking her... she would have probably talked to you about it already before you had the chance to ask.
Winnie B. Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Conversations are important in any relationship, but not main . Hey,man, give her some time, maybe she has some issues she is thinking of at the time and just cannot concentrate on the conversation thinking of the topics possible?
dashing daisy Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 She says "I don't think this is working" or "I think we should break up." Before that, you can't really know for sure, but some signs would be things like becoming increasingly distant, picking fights for no reason, not wanting to spend as much time together, not telling you what is going on in her life, not reciprocating efforts to maintain the relationship (you're always the one that calls, invites her out, includes her in things), etc. Remember though, everyone is different, and you kind of have to go with what your gut tells you and what you know about that person and how they behave. You also have to remember that there could be situational things that cause these behaviors too - it might not be about you. If you think there's something going on, mention it once, and see if she wants to talk about it. If she says nothing is wrong, either it's true, or she's not ready to talk about it. Either way, you need to let it go as much as you can, or you're just going to cause a problem even if there wasn't one.
amymarieca Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Before my last boyfriend broke up with me, he started calling me a lot less and breaking plans more often. He would choose to go out with friends or family instead of me (even if we had already made plans). Our sex life had also started to become less exciting and he seemed less interested in sleeping with me. Usually you can go by your gut feeling though. I must say that it doesn't look good for you. Sorry to hear that.
alphamale Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Before my last boyfriend broke up with me, he started calling me a lot less and breaking plans more often. He would choose to go out with friends or family instead of me (even if we had already made plans). Our sex life had also started to become less exciting and he seemed less interested in sleeping with me. that about sums it up but i would add slowly removing ones belongs from the others place
Tony T Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Doesn't sound good for you mate. They'll never tell you something is wrong either, they'll just one day tell you that 'everythings fine, your such a cool guy, bla bla but I don't see it going anywhere' - which to me makes no sense because something is obviously wrong if things are going nowhere! Nothing has to be wrong for a relationship not to be going anywhere. If you're with that wrong person, that's the way it's going to be. You simply can't have a lifelong relationship with every person you date. If things are going nowhere, that is usually a sign that the relationship has become stale and the parties may need to move on. It could also be a sign the one or both of the parties simply don't know how to conduct a relationship...that happens ALL THE TIME! Could be that one of the parties has met someone else they would prefer to explore...and sometimes those try to come back. (poop on that) There are many reasons relationships stop moving forward and that's not a bad thing. There's somebody out there for everybody and we have to keep moving in order to find that person.
norajane Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 How do YOU feel about the relationship? Never mind her - are YOU happy with how things are between you? If you aren't, that's a good sign things aren't going well on her end either, because it's very likely you are reacting to the way she's been treating you. Next time you feel uneasy, why don't you tell her that you aren't feeling very connected to her anymore and are wondering if you should stay together.
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