annielovesyou Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 i've been on and off with my guy for the last year...we've been dating for 2 years. i stupidly called a 6 month hiatus a month ago because the last year we had been arguing about the same things and nothing was changing. he's been very adamant about us taking this 6 month hiatus. it's been really hard for me because he'll respond to my texts and phone calls and tell me how much he misses me and wants to be with me but the next couple of days he'll ignore me and put me on the backburner. we're both incredibly lonely and he's already slept over at a girls house (but on her couch). i'm afraid it will soon lead to sex so i try to give him space been when i think about this isolated incident of him feeling lonely and sleeping on his coworkers couch i start to freak out. tonight he turned off his phone after we started texting back adn forth and i'm scared he is with that girl again because the last time he did that he was with her. i feel like im losing my mind. i've called him millions of times tonight and no response. he's turned his phone back on but still no response. i'm just confused because we're taking time off and i don't know if he'll be coming back after all of this. am i waiting for nothing? i'm teh most impatient person so this is very hard for me. i jsut want things to happen and for us to be like we were day one. not only that but i've been trying to see some one else to fill the void but it's been really hard for me. i miss him and i want him to realize we are menat for each other and i feel so helpless. i want him to realize that space is ruining us. am i wrong? do i need to back off? i feel like i've lost all my dignity after tonight.
Dmoney28 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 i'm really confused by your post. You guys both agreed to a 6 month hiatus...but you're mad because he wont answer his cell? What was the term of your hiatus? are you guys together....brokenup...or on a "break"?
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 All is fair in love and war. Unfortunately, this doesn't sound like love. It sounds like war. Don't go chasing ghosts. (Memories). Believe me. Don't. If he wanted to be together, he would be. Who plans out a 6 month break? WTF is that? Can he turn his love and commitment to you, on and off like a light switch? Run as fast as you can. You don't want this guy to realize ANYTHING except he needs to see a psychologist and get help.
Author annielovesyou Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 we're on a break but i call him a lot because i get lonely. he's mostly responsive but when he's not like tonight, i freak out.
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 You both sound crazy actually. You freak out when he doesn't answer you, despite the fact you're broken up? Good God woman, you two need to get a grip.
Author annielovesyou Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 thanks for the support. really.
Dmoney28 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 no need to call someone crazy because they show a human expression...emotion. If you guys both agreed to a break...then you have to respect the agreement. You have to show some self control. Technically... he at this point is single. Not bound to any relationship rules. If you agreed to no sex during this time, thats a diffrent thing. If you guys are seeing other people in the meantime...but still have feelings for each other...then you are compounded your problem. Do you want to be together or not?...there is no in between at this point. If you guys are arguing that much to cause this "break"....you need to seriously evaluate your relationship. To see if its even worth it. If you guys love each other...sit down, address your problems and work it out as adults...seek counselling if you need it. otherwise you are waisting each others time. I suggest try your hardest for NC until he calls or txt....then express what YOU really want...good luck
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 annie I am so blunt and honest because I know a simple fact: What's going to really help you? People saying they've been through what you are, and it'll be okay? Or someone who doesn't sugarcoat it, and shows you how it really is (based on what you've given to work with)? Would you rather have the cold hard facts? Or the rainbows and butterflies that people project? Make no mistake that I am interested in helping you. I want to help you. That's why I was here (and still here). You don't need people to try to hold your hand. You need people to show you how to fight for your sanity. That's what I'm doing. Don't mistake my harshness for apathy. I choose this path because it's the best way I can get through to you. (And others, generally). Would you prefer to be in pain now but see clearly and heal strongest later? Or would you rather have someone give you a rainbow to ride on, mental painkillers if you will, which will lead to a mental disaster later on at some point because you didn't face the facts when they were in front of you? I believe harshness with empathy is the best path to help. I've been through (even recently) what you are going through. I will help you fight for your sanity and see everything clearly.
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