CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Great! Another one of my friends just got engaged!!! Good for them! Really! Whoopie freakin do! I am a little ticked over here, and I know I am just bitter. Anyone else with me? Am I overreacting? I mean I can't stand the thought that out of my circle of girlfriends I WILL be the last one to marry IF I ever actually marry. LOL, never thought that would happen, but its happening. I feel so left out, so behind in life. It's different when you are a female, not sure if the guys will understand this at all. I am just having such a hard time right now. I don't even have a BF, let alone a fiance, I am almost 27, I have an OKAY job, my family is horrible. I don't even want to go into details there because it will just upset me even more. I might as well not even have a family honestly. Sometimes I just have such bad anxiety thinking about my life and how much better this friends life is or that friends life. (I know I am not talking about 3rd world countries here) But my family/life is so abnormal. I feel so alone, and I couldn't possible see my life improving. I feel so lost. I would give anything to be in a loving relationship. I am so sick of going out and pretending like I am happy.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 That's great news! Will you be a bridesmaid? LOL great news for sure. I am happy for her, but I just want the same thing. Is that so wrong of me? Yes, I will be another bridesmaid AGAIN!!!!!!!
pandagirl Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Candygirl, I'm sorry to hear that your family life isn't great, but seriously -- you're only 27! You're young and have so much of your life to live for. All of my married friends (and I'm 30) kid that they are jealous of my singleness and envy that I can makeout with whoever I want and can hop on a plane to a foreign country without having to ask permission. In my opinion, there shouldn't be a rush to get married. It will happen when it happens. Of course, we would all love to be in a great, loving relationship, but it's not the be all, end all of life. Forget what society says. My advice: travel the world, experience new things. Before you know it you'll be tied down, raising kids and that trip to Iceland will never happen!
Isolde Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I can't say I come from the same place family wise or age wise, but feel free to PM me anytime if you need to vent. (I have finals this week, but I'll do my best to reply). (I'm only 22, but a lot of 25-ish acquaintances are married, and almost everyone in my city is married, so I think I have a vague inkling of what you're talking about.)
carhill Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 You know, my wife's brother from Chicago ended up marrying a long-time roomer who lived with her sister here in our city. Where did they meet? Our neice's wedding. They got married in her sister's backyard a year later. I'd never seen the lady with a date. She was late 30's and never married and he was late 40's and divorced at the time, a few years ago. They now live in Chicago. Life has interesting twists. How you fit in depends on your attitude about yourself and life. Congratulations to your friend and enjoy the wedding!
Nemo Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 You know, my wife's brother from Chicago ended up marrying a long-time roomer who lived with her sister here in our city. Where did they meet? Our neice's wedding. They got married in her sister's backyard a year later. I'd never seen the lady with a date. She was late 30's and never married and he was late 40's and divorced at the time, a few years ago. They now live in Chicago. Life has interesting twists. How you fit in depends on your attitude about yourself and life. Congratulations to your friend and enjoy the wedding! Great post. Every silver lining has a cloud.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 You know, my wife's brother from Chicago ended up marrying a long-time roomer who lived with her sister here in our city. Where did they meet? Our neice's wedding. They got married in her sister's backyard a year later. I'd never seen the lady with a date. She was late 30's and never married and he was late 40's and divorced at the time, a few years ago. They now live in Chicago. Life has interesting twists. How you fit in depends on your attitude about yourself and life. Congratulations to your friend and enjoy the wedding! I do love stories like that. Thank you they give me hope!
Isolde Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Or a snowstorm, if you're a Chicagoan Don't underestimate Chicago, it's a great place. It gets a lot more sun in winter than many parts of the country, and it's absolutely paradisical in the summer. Anyway that was a cute story Carhill.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 Holidays are always a hard time for me. Everyone is talking about decorating the Christmas tree, going Christmas shopping, baking, cooking, holiday time off of work. I have no plans for Christmas, I will get no presents or give presents. I will do nothing. And yes it makes me depressed, I know I need to get over it and grow the F up. I just wish I had my OWN family. Make me feel like I am living, instead of just feeling like I am living through other people. A lot of my friends invite me over for the holidays and its nice of them, but its not MY family. I think why me??? Why do they get to have a great family AND a great husband/fiance on top of that. What about me? I am a good person. Why am I still left all alone in this world?
Gremio Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Candy, I know exactly how you feel. And I am not just saying that. I have no family, no intimate relationship with someone. I am also self employed, so it can be lonely at times. I hate to say it but I'm not going to lie. You just need to keep your head up high.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 Candy, I know exactly how you feel. And I am not just saying that. I have no family, no intimate relationship with someone. I am also self employed, so it can be lonely at times. I hate to say it but I'm not going to lie. You just need to keep your head up high. Sorry to hear that. I am no stranger to feeling lonely. Where do you live and how old are you?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 I can't say I come from the same place family wise or age wise, but feel free to PM me anytime if you need to vent. (I have finals this week, but I'll do my best to reply). (I'm only 22, but a lot of 25-ish acquaintances are married, and almost everyone in my city is married, so I think I have a vague inkling of what you're talking about.) Thanks I appreciate it
Gremio Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Sorry to hear that. I am no stranger to feeling lonely. Where do you live and how old are you? I'm in the mid 20s and live in the northeast US. Don't want to give specifics to maintain anonyminity.
carhill Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Don't underestimate Chicago, it's a great place. Yes, it is. My wife was born there. I seem to always get stuck at ORD (O'Hare) during snowstorms or thunderstorms, so that colors my perceptions I was shocked and surprised that the lady in question both got married so quickly after all these years and that she packed up and moved across the country. When it's right, it's right, I guess
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 So I should just get over it and be happy for my friend I know. But its just so hard sometimes. How am I not supposed to feel angry at life, and bitter about my situation? Something that just seems so easy to everyone else, is so hard for me to find.
carhill Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 I remember going to lots of weddings alone during my single years. I was always happy for my friends and their successes in life, so romance was no exception, regardless of my personal lacking in that department. Everyone's path is unique. We all have our own fit and purpose. I can say that, IME, how you feel is reflected in your life dynamic. Your emotions (happiness/pain/anger, etc) impact your world and reflect back to you. Sounds trite but I firmly believe this to be true. Oh, BTW, I amassed quite a collection of garters
orangehose Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 So I should just get over it and be happy for my friend I know. But its just so hard sometimes. How am I not supposed to feel angry at life, and bitter about my situation? Something that just seems so easy to everyone else, is so hard for me to find. There are tons of happily and unhappily single people in this world. More singles than unmarrieds. Don't think you're abnormal for being one of them. And no, it's not easy to find someone either. But you'll surely find someone, and when you do, you'll wish you had been enjoying your single time rather than worrying
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 There are tons of happily and unhappily single people in this world. More singles than unmarrieds. Don't think you're abnormal for being one of them. And no, it's not easy to find someone either. But you'll surely find someone, and when you do, you'll wish you had been enjoying your single time rather than worrying I hope you're right! I have been told this many times.
Vertex Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Holidays are always a hard time for me. Everyone is talking about decorating the Christmas tree, going Christmas shopping, baking, cooking, holiday time off of work. I have no plans for Christmas, I will get no presents or give presents. I will do nothing. And yes it makes me depressed, I know I need to get over it and grow the F up. I just wish I had my OWN family. Make me feel like I am living, instead of just feeling like I am living through other people. A lot of my friends invite me over for the holidays and its nice of them, but its not MY family. I think why me??? Why do they get to have a great family AND a great husband/fiance on top of that. What about me? I am a good person. Why am I still left all alone in this world? Man that hit home hard for me, haha. I know what this feels like. I just try to hope for the future. Things can always get better... basically what orangehose said. PM me if you ever want to talk, as, going from your past posts, we share many of the same experiences, from what I see.
Gremio Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 So I should just get over it and be happy for my friend I know. But its just so hard sometimes. How am I not supposed to feel angry at life, and bitter about my situation? Something that just seems so easy to everyone else, is so hard for me to find. Jealousy is a hell of a thing. Don't stoop to that level. I know it's very difficult, but once you start there, you could spiral.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 Jealousy is a hell of a thing. Don't stoop to that level. I know it's very difficult, but once you start there, you could spiral. LOL yes I know! I just feel like how much torture can one person take? I know in the long run I will appreciate things a lot more, but enough is enough already.
Isolde Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 LOL yes I know! I just feel like how much torture can one person take? I know in the long run I will appreciate things a lot more, but enough is enough already. Try not to think of it as torture. You're in a tough spot, but you still have the power to improve your life, every day. Please believe that.
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