RRyan65 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I'm starting NC with my ex (who am I kidding? she would love that). I would like to know if you were surprised that it worked or didn't work? Also, did it take longer or shorter than you thought? And is NC really NC, or is it a long period of time you need to let pass until you know you are over them, then contact as friends?
IcemanJB Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I'm doing NC as long as it takes for me to at least be OK with the fact that she could be seeing another guy (don't even know as of now). I'm on day 15, and the pain is still there, but every day gets better. Just today I had a realization in the middle of my eye exam (lol): I WILL be ok! Honestly I can't think of a better to way to have split with a girl. It still sucks and of course we miss each other, but it's really out of my control. We both have some things to take care of. Assuming in down the road we're both completely over each other, the idea of friendship is entirely possible. Right now we both have admitted we can't be friends - and I'm fine with that! I HAVE to heal first! Right now she's waiting on me to contact her since I told her to leave me alone until I was ready. Just knowing that little part (healing) is under my control is so important. As for how long: We've been broken up for 2 months, I'm on day 15 of NC, and honestly it will be at least a couple more weeks before I'm ok with talking to her again. You just gotta do what's right in your situation.
Dmoney28 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Well, i really cant comment too much....6 days was the longest. But i also never intiated any contacts.....all done by her. If she calls..thats fine...if she dosent, i'm one day closer to moving on. i guess everyone is diffrent. Every situation is unique. So NC can be used for diffrent reasons. I think above all else its to help you get through the pain of a breakup without that other person hindering you. How can you get over someone, if they're constantly contacting you. Or txt'ing you every 2 weeks. NC is used to move on for good. Its like this ...Do you want to die from a horrendous head on collision..or a long lingering painfull death from cancer in a hospital room? Either way is over...pick your poison i guess In my case of NC, it gave me my sanity back somewhat(after months). It put the situation in my control. I used the days, weeks and months to grieve and slowly accept the situation. Over time you get more numb as far as the pain. Pretty soon i noticed her calls and txt's didnt bother me as much...like in the begining( mostly because i started to actually move on slowly). Im starting to mentally and emotionally prepared myself for the worst. It still hurts. But not nearly as much as month 1.
Tinkerbelll Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 To be honest, I couldn't think of other alternative to NC in case you were dumped.. Today for me is day 30. I feel stronger and stronger every day..I still have bad moments, but nothing I can't handle. I am discovering that I am far stronger than I thought..Yesterday I was told he's dating another girl: it felt so bad but it was only matter of moments. I know what we lived, I have nothing more to say to him. I am ok with everything, the fact that he dumped me, that he's dating someone else. Yesterday I also met another guy with whom I had been in NC for more that 2 years! Well, it felt so good being there, happy to see him again, no hurt, no bad feelings at all,no shame etc.. realizing how wise was to disappear from his life if the outcome was that. I feel proud of all I was able to live and to feel. In conclusion, NC for me it's the only way..and it definetely works.
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