redfathom Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I have a good friend, who I have known about a year and a half. We hang out frequently and generaly I like to hang out with her. Except she is sometimes very needy and jealous. She is super compteative and likes to compete with me or her other friends (especially her best friend). When we are together she constantly needs me to tell her how pretty she is and how much guys find her attractive, etc. I mean she will just go on and on about it...and I find it slightly annoying. She isn't in a relationship and hasn't had a relaship other then something casual in a few years. Her best friend who lives out of town (a few hours away) is going through a divorce (after being married for 7 months) and is now with a mutual friend of theirs (male) who slept with my friend a few months ago. My friend is of course jealous of this and is being very callous about her best friends marriage ending. I saw her a few days ago and she was talking about how upset she is that her best friend is getting divorced because now she can't: 1. go to her best friends estragned husbands work party and 2. Go up there for the summer to go on his boat She is in no way concerned that her two friends are getting divorced and the pain they are in...well that he is in (STBXH). I don't expect her to comfort them, but to at least be compassionate and not so, selfish! It makes me wonder why she is friends with me and if I needed her in my life, would she inevtiable make everything about her. She is mentally draining sometimes...but most of the time is a good friend who I enjoy hanging out with. Well, it's more like 50/50 right now. What should I do? Should I call her out on her behaviour, but up with it, but only when I know I have the energy too? Or just suck it up, we all have flaws and I am sure I can be a bit annoying too...
beautifulearth83 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Well this is tough and it's up to you. I know exactly what you mean about how draining that can be. The two things I can suggest right now are: 1. Think for yourself. If it's not healthy, you don't have to deal with it. 2. If you want to be a friend to her, help her depend on herself for validation and reassurance, which would happen with number 1 anyway. But if she's an open-minded person that likes honesty or could handle the honesty, you could always just tell her that she doesn't need to ask you if she's attractive. Or say what I said to one of my friends once- "The only thing wrong with the way you look is what you think about the way you look". Like I said it's up to you though. You know the situation better than I do. Anyway, enough about her, go do somethin' for yourself.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I value my dear friends as much as I do my children. I HAVE however made a concerted effort to cut people like this out of my life permanantly. There is no room for unhealthy friendships with as few hours we have in each day. Noone needs nor deserves the headache. I don't believe that's being selfish, its simply protecting ones investments.
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