shylight200 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I have a date Wednesday with this really really really hot guy. Honestly, I don't even know why he asked me out cause I'm nowhere as good looking as he is. All his ex girl friends are GORGEOUS. Like, think of the hottest girl you know and multiply it by a 100 and you have the girls he dated in the past. It's making me really self conscious, I don't get it cause he can do so much better than me (and he has). Not to say I'm hideous or anything, but I'm definitely not that pretty. So, what it's like going out with someone who's better looking than you are? I know I'm kinda getting ahead of myself considering this is the first date and very possibly the only date, but what's it like?
Lizzie60 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Wow.. lots of self confidence.. with this attitude, it will be the only date for sure. Maybe it's a 'bet' with other guys but I don't think so.. he probably sees something in you that attracts him.. If you are insecure and you ask him that question 'Why me?'.. that will turn him off for sure.. just go with the flow.. be confident..
2sure Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 lol. Its a fair question. I have felt this way a few times. I am confident and think I'm fairly attractive - but once in a while I have had to admit, he was the better looking part of the couple . In my opinion. In fact, each time I have ended up in a relationship with these men. The thing seems to be: Know he is attracted to you. Do not wonder why. Be confident. Just because you dont think of yourself as a knock out is NO reason he cant. You've been upgraded. lol
Author shylight200 Posted December 8, 2008 Author Posted December 8, 2008 Wow.. lots of self confidence.. with this attitude, it will be the only date for sure. Maybe it's a 'bet' with other guys but I don't think so.. he probably sees something in you that attracts him.. If you are insecure and you ask him that question 'Why me?'.. that will turn him off for sure.. just go with the flow.. be confident.. Lol, I'm not going to ask him why he picked me. I was just wondering about it to myself. It never even occurred to me it could be a bet....
2sure Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 It never even occurred to me it could be a bet.... It Isn't!!! You are cute, attractive, etc...if he is attracted to you then you are all of those things to him!! It is just your insecurity showing up because you find him ultra attractive . Stop it. You are wonderful, you are a goddess. Act like one.
Gremio Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Lol, I'm not going to ask him why he picked me. I was just wondering about it to myself. It never even occurred to me it could be a bet.... It's very hard for me to say since you haven't really had a chance to talk to him yet. Perhaps he is like me. I used to be very different when I was younger. I can't get into specifics (to maintain anonyminity) but I am FAR different than I was when I was younger. Countless people from my past did recognize me and actually thought I was a different person. Now today I work with models as part of my profession. I see women who are a perfect 10, women who men can't even keep their jaw off the floor when they see them. Now don't get me wrong, I love gorgeous women, but I also need someone who is intellectual. I was in a relationship with someone who was just stunning... 104lbs, 5"3', size 0, what an ass! But in the end I came to realize she didn't have street smarts, she wasn't a great conversationist, and I started to become unhappy, the spark was gone. Unfortunately I had to break it off because deep down inside I knew I wasn't happy and didn't want to drag the relationship out. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us. I have even mentioned about particular women I was interested in to friends, and they were surprised (only based on looks). It could be that you have something that is unqiue to yourself. Looks are a huge part of a relationship, but there is so much more to it than it as well. Nowadays, I find myself attracted to women who intrigue my intellect, make me think about them, not just their looks.
IrishCarBomb Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Just relax and get to know him. I have 2 friends that women find irresistible. These two get hit on all the time by gorgeous women... sometimes it seriously blows my mind. One has dated a professional cheerleader, the other has dated several models (not that either of that really matters anyway). However, both of them want nothing to do with simple and shallow women anymore. Both are educated, smart, and insightful people... and found no real relationship with their gorgeous girlfriends because there was zero substance, chemistry, or depth beyond their looks. These guys just want a connection just like any other person... and this current guy is getting a good feeling from you. So don't get into the mindset of "he could do so much better than me". He knows what he wants, and he asked you out--you were picked. So, just relax and get to know him. He could easily be a great guy that would be perfect for you. He could also be a scumbag looking to set up a girl on the side. But the point is you owe it to yourself and to him to give him a chance. If you like who he is, run with it and have fun.
amaysngrace Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Maybe he just wants a girl who'd be more into him than she's into herself for a change.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Well you need to ooze confidence for once. What you don't have in looks you can always make it up in the personality department. Who's to say most gorgeous men date only gorgeous women? Only fear restricts us from wanting to date gorgeous men.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 It's much more than just a simple matter of confidence. The fact is it's a much bigger deal if the man is much more attractive than the woman than the other way around, for so many reasons, which boil down to the fact that most people consider a woman's greatest asset to be her appearance. There was even a scientific article published a few months back about how relationships are usually happier for both men and women when the woman is more attractive than the man. I think my last boyfriend was a few notches above me in appearance. Very, very handsome, athletic, just oozed sex. His girlfriend before me was apparently a hottie, too. I was a little intimidated about it at first. OK, if I am honest, I can admit that it was always at least a minor concern, but I think that's also attributable to other factors (his lack of verbal expressiveness, for example). But he said that none of his exes had the depth, brains, and creative talents that I do, and he said he'd never been so in love with anyone before. He also said the hottie ex was shallow and materialistic and she sucked in bed, whereas I rocked his world. He couldn't wait to introduce me to his family and friends. I guess all I can really say is that I do think it's harder to be with a guy who's quite a bit more attractive than you. If you get involved with him, you're going to need to have really strong self-esteem.
Isolde Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 You're probably overexaggerating the "discrepancy" between you. Just treat him like the human being he is--possibly awesome, and possibly not so awesome. Remember, the potential for physical beauty is there even in average looking women. You can upgrade, if that's what you want, whereas guys have a much harder time doing that. Women are generally more "pliable," if that makes sense. Use that to your advantage
Author shylight200 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 It never even occurred to me it could be a bet.... It Isn't!!! You are cute, attractive, etc...if he is attracted to you then you are all of those things to him!! It is just your insecurity showing up because you find him ultra attractive . Stop it. You are wonderful, you are a goddess. Act like one. aaww thanks
Author shylight200 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 It's much more than just a simple matter of confidence. The fact is it's a much bigger deal if the man is much more attractive than the woman than the other way around, for so many reasons, which boil down to the fact that most people consider a woman's greatest asset to be her appearance. There was even a scientific article published a few months back about how relationships are usually happier for both men and women when the woman is more attractive than the man. I think my last boyfriend was a few notches above me in appearance. Very, very handsome, athletic, just oozed sex. His girlfriend before me was apparently a hottie, too. I was a little intimidated about it at first. OK, if I am honest, I can admit that it was always at least a minor concern, but I think that's also attributable to other factors (his lack of verbal expressiveness, for example). But he said that none of his exes had the depth, brains, and creative talents that I do, and he said he'd never been so in love with anyone before. He also said the hottie ex was shallow and materialistic and she sucked in bed, whereas I rocked his world. He couldn't wait to introduce me to his family and friends. I guess all I can really say is that I do think it's harder to be with a guy who's quite a bit more attractive than you. If you get involved with him, you're going to need to have really strong self-esteem. Yeah I heard about that on the radio the other day. The guy gets the attractive girl and the girl gets security from the less attractive guy. It works out that way. I rarely see a hot guy with an less hot girl.
itgirlragdoll Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Speaking from the other side, my last boyfriend never felt "adequate" in the looks department compared to me, and made it known. It was a HUGE turn off. Otherwise his looks never bothered me at all, the only thing that bothered me about it was how insecure he was. Just something to keep in mind!
refurb Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Attractiveness is a pretty subjective thing. I've met girls that I've found to be very attractive that others guy thing aren't anything special. Just go with it! RF
Star Gazer Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Maybe he just wants a girl who'd be more into him than she's into herself for a change. I've been in your shoes several times, and I have to say, it really comes down to what's above. The ridiculously hot chicks generally are hollow. We are women of real substance. A good guy knows the difference. For now, trust that he's a good guy, and enjoy the eye candy he provides!!!
Rudderless Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 But these are girls he has been with - note the past tense. Maybe he's looking for something different.
S.T.C Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Yeah I heard about that on the radio the other day. The guy gets the attractive girl and the girl gets security from the less attractive guy. It works out that way. I rarely see a hot guy with an less hot girl. So that's why the gorgeous girls see something in me that most do not see. It's a trade off and they're playing it "safe", so they don't really like the man, just want him to feel secure like an alarm system. (Sigh).
RecordProducer Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 He didn't marry his exes. They are exes, remember? Curiously, the best looking guys usually marry not-so-gorgeous girls. And vice versa. Good-looking people are insecure, too. I wouldn't obsess with looks at all if I were you. Be self-confident and enjoy yourself.
Gremio Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 He didn't marry his exes. They are exes, remember? Curiously, the best looking guys usually marry not-so-gorgeous girls. And vice versa. Good-looking people are insecure, too. I wouldn't obsess with looks at all if I were you. Be self-confident and enjoy yourself. That is the truth. I see models very often due to my career, and although they show off a lot, they hide MANY insecurities. I've come to notice they often are more insecure than women of other professions.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 So that's why the gorgeous girls see something in me that most do not see. It's a trade off and they're playing it "safe", so they don't really like the man, just want him to feel secure like an alarm system. (Sigh). I don't think that is necessarily true. I think that in general women do not care as much about looks as men. Appearance has never been a major factor for me in deciding whom to be with. I go for integrity, creativity, and internal qualities. I have had relationships with men that people often commented were "gorgeous" and men who would probably be considered average. All of them were attractive to me. The boyfriend I was most in love with is probably not the most mainstream attractive guy, but I always thought he was absolutely gorgeous (still do). He treated me like a total catch, and I glowed when I was with him. In fact, I think we both did. He's incredibly intelligent, loving, and generous, and I feel that he is the closest counterpart I have known. It was a life-changing relationship for both of us. We are still good friends, and I am pretty sure we will be friends for life.
Author shylight200 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 You guys are right. He must have asked me out because he saw something in me. I'm just going to go and have fun and not think too much. thanks
SingleAgain08 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I've dated some really good looking guys. They have all been jerks. I know that not all good looking guys are jerks (just like not all beautiful women are shallow). Statistically, though, they are more likely not to treat women well because women let them get away with it. They live in a reality where women are always flirting with them so they learn they can have any woman they want. I would just caution you to be sure not to overlook little warning signs that this guy might be a bad guy. I have made that mistake because I was blinded by attraction. It takes awhile to find out what kind of person someone really is, but there are some telling clues along the way if you pay attention. Does he make an effort to do things you like (not just what he likes) when you are together? Is he interested in who you are and not just how you can fit into his life? Does he have nice friends? Is he interested in your friends? I think the secret to having a successful relationship with a really good looking man is to be DIFFERENT from all the other women who fawn all over him no matter what he does. Be strong and don't take any sh*t. If he ends up leaving because of that, you're better off. Unfortunately some of these men prefer shallow short-term relationships where they get everything they want over a meaningful, long-term relationship that requires compromise.
mental_traveller Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I have a date Wednesday with this really really really hot guy. Honestly, I don't even know why he asked me out cause I'm nowhere as good looking as he is. All his ex girl friends are GORGEOUS. Like, think of the hottest girl you know and multiply it by a 100 and you have the girls he dated in the past. It's making me really self conscious, I don't get it cause he can do so much better than me (and he has). Not to say I'm hideous or anything, but I'm definitely not that pretty. So, what it's like going out with someone who's better looking than you are? I know I'm kinda getting ahead of myself considering this is the first date and very possibly the only date, but what's it like? The sexiness of a woman is not that much to do with her prettiness. For all you know, he might think you are hot as hell - or just think you are plain, but some aspect of you really turns him on. Just chill and enjoy the vibe, stop fretting so much.
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