Jordan51 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Ok here's the story, I went to a party on the weekend and met this girl. We got along great, awesome chemistry here and eventually everyone decided to hit up a club. So at this club I continued to talk to her and we danced all night on the dance floor. She lives here for school but her hometown is about an hour and a half away and she innocently mentioned she has a boyfriend. Anyways at the end of the night I offered her a ride home and she accepted. As we were getting in my car I asked if she wanted to go for a coffee and she said she wants to but she has a boyfriend. Anyways I said that’s cool and asked if she ever drove stick before, she said no and I told her to hop in and let her take a boot trying to teach her. Well she pulls up into this lakefront with benches that overlooks the city. I asked if she wanted to chill there for a bit and she agreed. The entire time she was very flirty and we talked for hours, cuddled up but I decided not to go in for a kiss because of the whole b/f thing, this happened on Friday. So on Saturday I noticed she left $5 I my car and sent her a txt saying hey you left $5 in my car last night, guess I owe you a drink. She replies on Sunday saying I guess so! And telling me she can't believe I let her drive my car. So I decide ill lay low for a bit. About 10 o’clock she sends another txt asking if I'm still up and I reply with a simple yes. We start texting back and forth and she tells me she’s at a friends place and her friend passed out so she’s really bored. Well I threw it out there that I had the day off tomorrow and I was going for a coffee and she could come if she had nothing else to do. She tells me that she’s so gross right now and was in pajamas all day. So I tell her it's alright I don’t mind, I've been in my bathrobe half the day loll. And she tells me those are the best kind of days, just being lazy on a Sunday. So I figured that since she didn't say yes she probably didn't want to just yet. So we texted back and forth some more and I told her well I may as well try and sleep but to call me sometime because I still owed her a drink and she said that’s true lol. Anyways I lost a friend to drinking and driving the same day so I couldn’t sleep. An hour later I send a txt saying I couldn't sleep too much on my mind and asked if she was still awake. She said yeah that she resorted to watching internet videos. So I then tell her the story about why I can’t sleep and she was like omg I’m so sorry, are you ok to drive right now? About 2 minutes she asks if I’m ok? So I tell her yes and I’m just driving around trying to clear my mind and asked if she wanted to hang out for a bit just so I can have someone to talk to. She said to txt her in 20 minutes or so. So 20 minutes goes by and I txt her and she says she should probably stay at home because everyone’s asleep and one of her friends already got mad at her for being loud. I said that’s cool, have a happy holiday because she is going back to her hometown for a few weeks today. She tells me to be careful while texting and driving and I said I will and hopefully I wasn’t too much of a bother and that I was sorry. She said no no you weren't a bother, she just didn't want to wake up her house and that she felt like a jerk. Anyways I told her I was just going to go to sleep and she said she should try too, and I replied with a simple goodnight and that was that. Do you think I came across too strong here? I was legitimately feeling down for my friend and I just wanted someone to talk to. So my question to you is did I come across too strong for only meeting this girl once? I didn't want to seem needy but this was a good friend of mine and my mind was everywhere. Any input would be appreciated guys: D
IrishCarBomb Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Yes, you did. Seems like you aren't all that tripped up about your friend, and just wanted to take the opportunity to advance things with her.
Author Jordan51 Posted December 8, 2008 Author Posted December 8, 2008 Are you kidding? I was totally tripped out about my friend, I've known him since forever I can't believe you could even think that someone would use that as an oppertunity to see someone else... I mean come on now....
IrishCarBomb Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Are you kidding? I was totally tripped out about my friend, I've known him since forever I can't believe you could even think that someone would use that as an oppertunity to see someone else... I mean come on now.... Well... a few things come to mind: Don't you have any other friends that were mutual friends with the one that died? Seems like those people would be the natural ones to talk to over the traumatic incident, instead of some girl you just met. Guys often use traumatic events to open up to girls and create and accelerate a connection between them... if I was the girl I'd be worried this was the case. Your post is concerned not with your friend's death, but whether you came on too strong. The priorities seem strange.
Author Jordan51 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 it was 3am, no one else was up
moni007 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Funny thing about women is they sometimes like it when they think they're the one that a man has come to when he's vulnerable. So she probably didn't think you were coming on to her at first but then did and that's why she back out, it could've been because she knew it wasn't appropriate to be out with you like that. If she is someone that you just met, got along with well and seemed to be responding to you then reaching out to her would seem normal. Taking it past that is another thing, the fact that you considered kissing her but didn't because of the BF means that you have interest in her beyond a friendly nature, so tread lightly. Maybe reaching out to someone that is more of a platonic friend would be better so you don't end up crossing the line with her. If you really thought she was a cool person then the best thing you can do is respect her relationship.
Star Gazer Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Yes, you did. Seems like you aren't all that tripped up about your friend, and just wanted to take the opportunity to advance things with her. Well... a few things come to mind: Don't you have any other friends that were mutual friends with the one that died? Seems like those people would be the natural ones to talk to over the traumatic incident, instead of some girl you just met. Guys often use traumatic events to open up to girls and create and accelerate a connection between them... if I was the girl I'd be worried this was the case. Your post is concerned not with your friend's death, but whether you came on too strong. The priorities seem strange. I TOTALLY agree. OP, if I had received your texts, I'd think you were lying in order to make some sort of connection with me. THAT's how strange the priorities are here.
goodmorningtowakeup Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 dude, youre ****ing around on someone elses gf. thats the most ****ed thing you can do to a relationship.... like it or not, youre only trying to weasel youre way in at this point and all the "if she was happy then she wouldnt want me!" bs is NOT TRUE. People can come in and mess up other peoples relationships very easily and while this girl may be hanging with you while she shouldnt, especially the cuddling, if you get with her REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO START IT UP and remember that... IT will happen to you.
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