scold2886 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 So we broke up 6 month's ago. We been talking on and off relly never took anytime apart. I love this girl with all my heart but she keep's playing with my heart.I tryed NC with her befor but i diden't last no more then 24 hour's. Why is this so hard. I'm try NC one more time but i need all the help and support i can get..PLEASE HELP ME.
spupwc Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 if there is any chance u guys will get bak, u have to let her chase u for a while. ur taking any guilt away from her by talking to her so much.. It took me a couple mths to finally do this and we r still not talking but if it's the end for u both, u can at least use the time to heal instead of suffering for so long.. i'm still not there yet and it's been 2 mths but i m better than i was 2 mths ago, not alot but better.. get busy and start living like she is past and focus on urself and future, time isn't gonna wait...be strong man!!! I tell myself that everyday
spupwc Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 I want to call and talk to her everyday but I can't do it... unless she comes running and asks for forgivness begging me and she knows my number, I just can't do it... she knows ur number, let her call u wen she s ready and don't pick up for a few days.. let her ponder for awhile why ur not answering, maybe she will start to think differantly after awhile
trex Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Best piece of advice I can give you to get through NC is to STAY BUSY. You've probably heard it already but it's really important to keep moving, actually...it's essential. I would suggest getting a planner and stuffing your days with activities and stuff to do. In fact, over-pack your days with stuff to do, to the point where you can't do all the stuff on your list. The will ensure that your staying active on not thinking about calling your ex. Be with people as much as you can, because the temptations to call them are usually when you are alone and thinking.... right now - THAT IS THE ENEMY. So do your best not to take yourself out of that position.
samspade Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Read this The No Contact Guide (I hope this posts as a link!)
samspade Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Oops, I mean this. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/
justletgo07 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 First thing: Just try to relax. I can only imagine how distraught and stressed you must be after 6 months of repeated ups and downs with her. I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. Honestly, the best thing you can do is let her go and stop contacting her. I know that NC is very difficult to do (I'm on day 22 myself) but it really does help. Besides, think of it this way: You've stuck around her for 6 months now, and that hasn't helped you get over her or get her back. If something isn't working, don't do more of it! Do something completely different! We are so programmed to believe that the more effort you put into something, the bigger and better the reward will be. In relationships, this is often very much the opposite. Sometimes the best you can do is do nothing. Personally, I believe that if you have only been able to go NC for 24 hours or less, you have never gone NC. I realize 24 hours of no contact from your ex feels like an eternity, but to most people in most relationships, 24 without contact is normal, if not healthy. To our ex's, who no longer have romantic feelings for us or who wanted space from us, going even longer without talking probably feels normal, if not satisfying. Going NC can only benefit you. When you completely cut yourself off from her, it will probably make her very curious. After 6 months, I'm sure she expects you to always be around. Do something she doesn't expect! Granted, it may not make her change her mind about being in a relationship with you, but it will at least make her think! Good luck. You can do it.
Dmoney28 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 yep, justletgo is right. You have to go NC. you dont have to be rude, or nasty. just tell her "i really need some time to get my head together, were broken up, and i need to accept that and move on"...NC. only entertain the thought of contacting her back if she says "i want to try working on our relationship"...no mixed signals or encoded phrases. If the break-up wasnt your fault, there is no reason to hang on, if she dosent want to try again. You will be caught in the cycle until she or you finds someone else...or you become so indiffrent you wont care anymore. Sometimes Strict NC will force someone to make a choice. I'm in the doghouse, so i dont have that luxury as of yet. NFC is my best bet.
Recommended Posts