SoulSearch_CO Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 So I just want to say that before I got married nearly 5 years ago, I did hardly any dating. If I had to count actual DATES (minus dances in HS), I could put them all on one hand and have fingers to spare. I just wasn't that into it because I didn't have the greatest self-confidence. Anywho...when I DID get involved with guys, I fell pretty quickly (and made stupid decisions in the process). Got involved with a guy at 22 and did sexual things that I wish I hadn't done just because I thought he "loved" me. That lasted all of about a month. Then on my first date with ex-H, he asked me how my family would feel if we got married (we worked together, so saw each other 5 times a week other than the dating). Even though this question would strike many normal people as odd, I already really liked him and it didn't scare me off. We were together for over a year before we got married. Were married for 4 1/2 years. But anyway, I always dived in with my full heart and the chemistry was awesome. My heart did most of my thinking and decision-making and I passed up some opportunities because I didn't want to be taken away from ex-H (BF at the time). I regret that I missed out on some things. That part of my history explained, I'm getting back into the whole dating thing. I'm far more confident than I ever was before and to boot, I'm having FUN. I don't plan to rush into anything. But I guess my main question would be this...how important is chemistry and how does it develop? I met this guy online and we got together for a date. I didn't feel an initial "spark." I gave him a hug at the beginning of the date, but he seemed kind of nervous when I did it. And then although I'd make casual touches (I'm a major touch person), he didn't. But I can't say he's not interested in me, because he's the one that does the majority of contact via email and phone. We'll sit on the phone and talk for a couple hours. And he has made several references to us getting together (me coming over to his house, us going out snowmobiling...we're outdoors people). He seems like a really nice guy and stable. But I'm just wondering if "spark" is something that can develop? Or should I just forget it? I'm not looking to settle down right now. In fact, I'm interested in a couple guys. But I'm wondering if a potential interest should be forgotten if there's not that zap early on. I don't have that much experience with this stuff, so was hoping to have some light shed, here. Part of me also thinks that with less of that crazy attraction, I'd keep more of a level head when it comes to my choices. I don't know. Just trying to figure it out.
Nemo Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 There are some other threads 'round 'ere which you may find enlightening. Case in point. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t172362/ If you ask me, chemistry is one of those mysteries of life. One can't "decode" it. It defies description, or understanding on any level.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted December 8, 2008 Author Posted December 8, 2008 LOL...thanks, Nemo. I was expecting something goofy, sp I appreciate the link to the other post. Thanks! The video was pretty funny.
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