CanadianEquestrian Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 So, here's the deal. I've got a close school friend that I have know for almost 2 years now. Last year, I had a slight crush on him (and I'm pretty sure he had a slight crush on me), but after the semester ended and we didn't have class together anymore, we stopped really hanging out and he got himself a gf (which I'd have to say, he is madly in love with). I got over him, and met this amazing guy this summer, who I freaking LOVE. We're not together, but I'm getting the vibe that he likes me back, and he's one of my best friends. Anyway, back to my friend with a gf... This year, we're in 12th grade, and she's in university. Yeah, there's the problem. I think my friend is getting lonely, and he's using ME as a buffer. It's extremely agrivating. Very contrary to last year, he's gotten so much more touchy; rubbing my shoulder, patting my head, commenting on what I am wearing. He's almost as affectionate with me as the guy I have feelings for, which is why it's freaking me out. He also has a bit of a temper, yet he never seems to take it out on me. A couple days ago I was sitting with him and my friends in the hall, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders for a couple seconds and gave me a hug. I don't mind, but hello: you have a girlfriend, buddy. I think he's crushing on me, and I DON'T WANT HIM TO. I don't want to cause a problem in his relationship. To make things worse, I think I may still have slight feelings for him (and as the guy I really like does not live in the same province as me, I don't ever see him physically, so he isn't there for me to focus my attention). I don't want to have feelings for my friend. I want him to back off, but I don't want to hurt him because he's a good friend... And another thing: to make things EVEN WORSE one of my best friends seems to be crushing on him! Ugh. I'm hoping once this semester ends, it won't be so bad anymore. Anyone have any suggestions?
gracielou Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 I was in a similar situation at one point a few years ago when i was a junior in college, although my guy friend and i had a hook up history and even tho i broke it off since it wasn't going anywhere we had remained good friends. When he did have a girlfriend, who went to a college closer to his hometown, he was still very touchy, feely (not to mention he tried to hook up with me a few days b4 the relationship showed up on facebook...fishy i know n i yelled at him for it). I still hung out with him but if i felt a hug was lingering longer than it should or i felt uncomfortable i would subtly put more distance between us physically. Instead of sitting next to him, i'd sit across from him at the table. I made sure to I also would just periodically ask how his girlfriend was doing and how their relationship is going. I did want to know the answers because i knew she was a big part of his life and it was a very nice way to throw out a reminder as well. I also backed off a bit, more out of respect for the girlfriend so that she wouldn't feel threatend by me and my friendship with him. I don't know if that helps at all or even if it was the right approach but thats what i did.
Recommended Posts