rod_in_gtown Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Give the guy a break. I second this. Just because the guy was nervous or unskilled enough, that only makes him normal, not every guy out there is a smooth operator who can pick up women by charming them with "the right words". He could be just a cool interesting guy but if you don't give him a chance you'll never know.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Well she did refer to him as "kinda cute guy," and she's questioning whether to call him or not. I'd guess that if she wasn't attracted to him at all she wouldn't have made this thread in the first place. Hell, she probably wouldn't have even remembered the comment he made. It seems to me like she's coming on here to ask US if she's attracted to him, based on whether that comment was towards the charming or cheesy end, though she's the only one that can decide that. I was just saying not to be so hard on the guy by painting him as desperate for making that comment. He obviously needs to work on his charisma a bit, and he's doing that by going out to clubs and approaching women like the OP. DOesn't mean he's desperate or trying too hard... The only reason I said he was desperate was because most men if they can't even take a hint, they become annoying. Which at one point he did with the OP, when he didn't even notice she was trying to ignore him. I agree with the part that she's coming on here to ask US if she's attracted. Most women don't exactly know what they want, we have conflicting emotions that we like to share with others to get their opinions on the situation. It's also fair to say women sometimes like to toy around with the idea of whether they should date a certain guy or not. I'm sure men do the same.
nicki Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Cut the guy some slack. It's so hard for guys. I always let a guy off the hook for pick up lines -- unless its a rude, sexual one, then I'm done! But, if just something that shows his lack of skill, then I let it go. In fact, I'd rather have a guy be a bit clumsy than too smooth. You don't have enough info about him yet. Go out on a date to get some more. Next time a guy says something like that, you could joke around with him. If he says, "Why aren't we two married?" you could say something like "Aw, you probably leave the seat up and like the toilet paper rolled over instead of under. It could never work." He was trying. That's a good thing.
kashmir Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 The only reason I said he was desperate was because most men if they can't even take a hint, they become annoying. Which at one point he did with the OP, when he didn't even notice she was trying to ignore him. I agree with the part that she's coming on here to ask US if she's attracted. Most women don't exactly know what they want, we have conflicting emotions that we like to share with others to get their opinions on the situation. It's also fair to say women sometimes like to toy around with the idea of whether they should date a certain guy or not. I'm sure men do the same. But I don't get the hint she was giving him. Looking over at her drunk friend every now and then? That isn't much of a hint. I don't think that guy did anything wrong and I'm glad he kept pursuing and eventually got her number, because obviously she liked him enough to give it to him. Also, I think not getting her very subtle hint says that he ISN'T desperate. A guy that isn't desperate isn't going to approach a girl looking looking for negative hints she's giving him. He's going to go in confident and is going to try whether she likes it or not.
Author LoveLace Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 I think the joke was charming. It was definitely a joke. I don't think it was a marriage proposal. Desperate or romantic? In any case, he's attracted to you. How much, you won't know unless you give him a chance. I just don't understand why you wanted to get rid of a guy whom you found kind of cute. If you so wanted to get rid of him, then forget about him; why bother thinking/talking about someone you don't even like? I don't think I wanted to get rid of him as much as I just felt awkward because of the situation I was in...so I guess it's more like I just wanted to get rid of the awkwardness...while flattered at the same time. But the way I looked over at drunkie wasn't subtle...in order to do it, I had to turn my head completely away from the guy. I actually think it was obvious that I had something else going on there (well not really but was supposed to!); but I guess that doesn't mean it was obvious to him. I must have done it at least 5 times while he as talking to me though. But I still tried to have a light conversation with him as well; so if a guy figures your not saying "get away from me", then why wouldn't he keep pursuing? Whoever made the comment about his "marriage" line, it is possible that it's a player line, too...so it's hard to tell if we're dealing with someone "trying too hard" or with someone who thinks they are just smooth. But I'm concluding it really doesn't matter either way so soon...it isn't as though he was ever offensive or disrespectful...just very persistent...and full of compliments...I'll probably call him and you never know if just 1 phone call is enough for me to judge, or if I'll need a date to do so...heck I might have to call him just so we can all have an ending to this story! Or perhaps a new beginning hehe.
RecordProducer Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 But the way I looked over at drunkie wasn't subtle...in order to do it, I had to turn my head completely away from the guy. I actually think it was obvious that I had something else going on there (well not really but was supposed to!); but I guess that doesn't mean it was obvious to him. I must have done it at least 5 times while he as talking to me though. I don't understand the point with this part. Whoever made the comment about his "marriage" line, it is possible that it's a player line, too...so it's hard to tell if we're dealing with someone "trying too hard" or with someone who thinks they are just smooth.Obviously you think he was sleazy and cheesy. It's pointless to ask us who never met him about a statement per se; you were tee and picked up on his image. Do what your gut feeling tells you.
rod_in_gtown Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 But the way I looked over at drunkie wasn't subtle...in order to do it, I had to turn my head completely away from the guy. I actually think it was obvious that I had something else going on there (well not really but was supposed to!); but I guess that doesn't mean it was obvious to him. I must have done it at least 5 times while he as talking to me though. But I still tried to have a light conversation with him as well; so if a guy figures your not saying "get away from me", then why wouldn't he keep pursuing? There is no "hint" men will get, remember, interpreting "signs" or "hints" is a game played based on assumptions, and we don't like to assume, specially that we're not wanted, because misinterpreting a sign of a woman maybe looking over her shoulder to see if her best friend is there looking for her for a sign of "she's turning her head all the way to try to tell me that she wants me to go away" is quite a stretch and honestly, if the guy makes that connection, then he's probably terribly insecure. So if he didn't "get the hint" it's not really his fault but yours. If you wanted him to go away, you should've just told him that. Rude or not rude, at least you wouldn't have been leading him on.
Author LoveLace Posted December 9, 2008 Author Posted December 9, 2008 Your right Rod hinting is a lot like game-playing...but I wasn't exactly upset that he didn't get the "hint", obviously, because 1. I'm here talking about him and 2. I collected his phone #...for any guy that I've truly wanted to leave me alone I sure as heck never ended up doing that...so I must have liked his attention to some extent...weather or not I'll call him, I honestly don't know, but I"m glad I have the option to.
Author LoveLace Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Well I haven't called him...guess that means I'm not very interested after all...but never say never...
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