Coutwice Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Hi, I'm new to LS and let me say I'm glad I found it in the nick of time. I've spent about two hours going through similar situations that I'm currently in and acquired a wealth of information. Let me start by describing my dilemma. I met this girl, (I'm 25 years old) at work earlier his year. We hit it off pretty well and soon enough were dating and having a lot of fun. There were a lot of things that complemented us and we felt pretty good together. Now my biggest mistake was that at that time I was in a two year relationship and living with my then girlfriend. I did not mention it to this girl, I don't know if it was the thrill or I actually cared for her but I kept it going. Soon enough my girlfriend naturally noticed that things were changing between us and suspected I was cheating on her. Women's intuition especially when it comes to infidelity never fails them I guess. I resisted her inquiries and still kept seeing this girl from work. I even went as far as telling my girlfriend we were just friends and hanging out was all that was happening. She of course asked why I never introduced her and all I said was they wouldn't get along (not so smart). My girlfriend became increasingly agitated and eventually waited at the parking lot to talk to this so called friend, I was coming back home after spending the last 24 hours together. All hell broke lose and like a coward, I exited the apartment while the two were talking and took off. Later on the girl called me and begged me to talk to my girlfriend, instead I convinced her that I was motivated to be with her and thats why I cheated. I also added that m relationship was on the verge of ending anyway. Nevertheless, this girl gave in and gave me an ultimatum, move in with me and end you're relationship with you girlfriend or its over. I chose to move in with her. Now here's where I feel I need some serious character adjustment. For the last 8 months I've been going back and forth between my ex-girlfriend and this other girl. For some reason I was unable to decide who I wanted to be with. It has been a stressful and very straining process. Both girls were broken, emotionally because I could not make up my mind. I would move back to my ex's (which was my apartment) only to move back to this other girls house days later. I would come up with temporary reasons as to why I couldn't move be with one or the other. I don't know why I kept doing this. For the life of me I've been trying to figure it out. I told this girl I loved her but turned around and said the same to my ex. It came to a point where they had a physical confrontation not too long ago. Tis when I realized I needed to do something. Now the girl was so exhausted that I started to notice she was moving on, I became angered and very jealous at this notion that finally I told her one morning I didn't want to be with her anymore. But later on I called her begging her for forgiveness and asking her to have me back, after all I put her through, I CALLED HER begging to take me back. The same thing she had been doing for months. I find I've ben extremely distracted because she's not in my life anymore, I don't know why I want her back, is it because she has moved on that I feel the need to nurse my ego? or is it that I feel I've lost control over her. I do realize that I need to change some things about myself. What I put these two women through, nobody should have to. i just need to understand why I did it and what I should do next. I find myself checking my phone every minutes to see if she has called. I even go as far as checking her current phone usage to see who she's talking to. We have communicated a little since breaking up and she has said that she misses me and that I need to work on getting her back, Is this just a game because she feels she has the upper hand now? I look back at the 8 months and feel very bad about the way I treated both of them
Benique Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 You need to let one of them go and lead her own life. Relationships with beloved ones are very important,true, but they are not the only bread to eat in life ... Better to be alone than in such a relationship.I mean the girls . And for you it is just important to decide whom you wanna stay with . Or maybe you want to start a new life ? ?
Author Coutwice Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 yes I have realized the need to finally decide who I want to be with. Soon after the break-up I had this overwhelming urge to apologize which I did. But I want t understand why I want her back so bad when I treated he like this for so long.
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