Bells Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Okay, I went out with this girl had dinner and desert with her, had a great time, asked if we could get together again. She's kind of the modest/conservative type. The kind of woman I like. That's what I like about her. Anyhow....at the spur of the moment, I asked her if she'd like to get together again, told her I had already made plans to be with some friends at a gathering, and she'd be more than welcome to join me. Well, it's a Christmas type event...and there's some mistletoe hanging above her. (well not quite, but she was close enough, but looked like it from my perspective) And I said, "oh oh, you're standing under the mistletoe!!" She looks around for it, and I point it out, and it's pretty much above her and she kind of walks away from underneath...and she makes this horrendous face and says, "Umm, I'm not standing underNEATH it!!" She made a face like she smelled poop. I was like Cripes sorry, just flirtin', figured you'd go along with it (Not That I expected her to kiss me, which I didn't but, she could have laughed/giggled...not make a gross face) Not sure what was up with that, but we did spend the rest of the evening together, going to other places after the party. Apparently, she's not the "mushy type" that's into romances...something most women are into (at least I think), so maybe that's it...or I'im just overanalyzing. lol
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 It's possible she doesn't like public displays of affection. I get very self conscious when it comes to stuff like that. It really doesn't matter how much I like the guy, I just feel really funny about stuff like that. How did she behave afterwards? Sounds like you guys were still hanging out.
prettybaby Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Was this a first dinner with someone you'd just met? If so, she probably wasn't very comfortable with you yet, in spite of what you may think. You say you weren't even expecting a kiss at all, but she had no way of knowing that. All she heard was you referring to the mistletoe, which is a pretty clear clue when someone wants to kiss you lol A bit too bold in my opinion, unless you're already dating each other.
Vertex Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Normally the first thing someone thinks when you point out mistletoe is, obviously, kissing. She thought you were trying to set up a kiss.
Author Bells Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Was this a first dinner with someone you'd just met? If so, she probably wasn't very comfortable with you yet, in spite of what you may think. You say you weren't even expecting a kiss at all, but she had no way of knowing that. All she heard was you referring to the mistletoe, which is a pretty clear clue when someone wants to kiss you lol A bit too bold in my opinion, unless you're already dating each other. I said, this was our SECOND time out.....I just think she isn't one of those flirty types. I guess it was because this other friend we were hangin' with was getting his "flirt" and even a little physical with another woman in our group....guess I felt the obligation to "taker it up a notch" We went dancing together, they were all over each other dancing, me and her kept some distance between us What's funny is, they just both met and were just introduced, that night. 4 of us decided to seperate off, and go on the town alone together. It's kind of awkward when you're hangin with a couple that are touchy feely (when they just met) with each other, when me and my own date won't have any physical contact. Not saying she's a prude or anything, but I didn't want to risk "grindin' Up against her on the dance floor that evening. Just not my style I guess until I get to know her after a FEW dates. lol I guess mistle toe was a good excuse in the OLD days to kiss girl...now you have to be careful when doing the "Mistle Toe Setup" these days.
Author Bells Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 It's possible she doesn't like public displays of affection. I get very self conscious when it comes to stuff like that. It really doesn't matter how much I like the guy, I just feel really funny about stuff like that. How did she behave afterwards? Sounds like you guys were still hanging out. Yeah she's probably kinda like you....but the other couple...they JUST met and were already into each other and getting physical. I'm THINKING "Hm, if that guys doing it with HIS girl, maybe i can as well?" Mmm, not s o much. lol
Benique Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 ..she seems to be a reserved kinda person. For just the second time,Bells,it`s a lot of analyzing
Author Bells Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 ..she seems to be a reserved kinda person. For just the second time,Bells,it`s a lot of analyzing Yeah, I prefer reserved I guess, I'm better off. I sometimes go out with friends and stuff and when people, "Hook up", they kind of launched into things prematurely, get a little hot and heavy..... Not sure if you seen those "coming of age movies" where at the WHOLE party everyone is making out. And there's one guy with a "female friend" that are just feeling awkward, and go outside to talk or something. I guess that's how some people are wired. She's great on a date, on our first date, I paid for dinner, and she bought a coupon to help me out on that...then we had desert and she paid for all of it. Very reciprocating, she contributes.
carhill Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Yeah, I prefer reserved I guess, I'm better off. I sometimes go out with friends and stuff and when people, "Hook up", they kind of launched into things prematurely, get a little hot and heavy..... Are you reserved? If not, preferring reserved is unhealthy. If you are reserved, express that, always. There are ways of communicating interest (and noticing it) without all that obvious grinding. Most "reserved" women talk to me with their eyes and their tone of voice and also their body language. I'm "reserved" but affectionate. Properly expressed affection (physical contact) is a great communicator of interest without it being sexual. I would not have done the "mistletoe" episode as you did. I would have merely looked at her, looked up, caught her eye and smiled. No talking at all... she would be left to think about it and form her own reaction. I expressed desire in a way only she noticed (if she cared to). Her notice of it would be an answer for me. Still 24 days to go...lots more mistletoe to stand under
prettybaby Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 I would have merely looked at her, looked up, caught her eye and smiled. No talking at all... she would be left to think about it and form her own reaction. Now that's an awesome approach lol
Author Bells Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Are you reserved? If not, preferring reserved is unhealthy. If you are reserved, express that, always. There are ways of communicating interest (and noticing it) without all that obvious grinding. Most "reserved" women talk to me with their eyes and their tone of voice and also their body language. I'm "reserved" but affectionate. Properly expressed affection (physical contact) is a great communicator of interest without it being sexual. I would not have done the "mistletoe" episode as you did. I would have merely looked at her, looked up, caught her eye and smiled. No talking at all... she would be left to think about it and form her own reaction. I expressed desire in a way only she noticed (if she cared to). Her notice of it would be an answer for me. Still 24 days to go...lots more mistletoe to stand under Well, she was facing away at the time when I mentioned it. She's from a diff. culture too, she's asian. So that might have something to do with it.
carhill Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 FWIW, my BFF for many years was ethnic Cantonese (born here) and she had no issues with PDA's even though her parents (born there) were very reserved. She and I used to flirt like that (the mistletoe thing) for fun and effect, not that it meant anything romantic. Rule number one: Don't talk at your date about things alluding to romance when she is facing away from you. Exception, far down the road, is doggie style
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