I love him..I broke up with him..I still havnt got the full story..any ideas?

[Your Favourite Smile]

Im struggling with this whole breakup :/

 

Yes, i broke it off with the guy i love.. for right reasons i guess.

I told him i care for him, i told him i want to be with him- i didnt get a response. So i dont know whether he feels anything or not- even now.

 

Ok, i know im sounding silly by saying that.. if he cant talk about how he feels.. maybe that says it all, right? So yep, i broke it off.. i had waited too long.

 

As ive done even when in the relationship, ive thought about him everyday, i want to know how he is, etc etc

 

But i feel as though its wrong to contact now, i believe that if he wants to talk about things (being the relationship mainly) then he will do so himself.

I love him, but im concerned more about how he feels.

If he doesnt want anything to do with me then at least i have an answer, but i dont know anything! i dont know how he feels.

 

I just dont know, i lack knowledge. My instincts tell me that he will contact again, that he will want the relationship. It isnt wishful thinking.. im just having a strong feeling that he will. Im not a doormat though, if he wants the relationship then i feel ill need proof that this is true because my trust has lowered

 

I just cannot understand all of this, i understand why i had to break up with him, but ive still no clear explanation of how he feels, could there have been other reasons why he wouldnt open up to me?

 

[Geishawhelk]

Depends.

How long was the relationship?

Has he always been this reluctant to talk?

 

Stay NC.

Wait.

 

If he gets in touch, then maybe he'll be willing to give more input.

If not, move on.

[Tarantula]

I had once a very joyful and happy relationship with the person I loved from the very heart of hearts ...

he hurt me awfully ..I lost all trust in him ... I was all in tears for all he had done as could not ,could not , could not understand the reasons of his acting this way ,of hurting me so much ..

 

and I was silent ....I was silent for far more than I expected from my self myself ...

I was silent as had nothing to say ... I did not know what to say ...I did not want to say ....I had no trust in him any more ..And I ...did not know what to talk to him after all this ... what to talk to him about ...

 

 

 

So (to the author) :

 

just think over again why he is silent,why he says nothing and let time pass,maybe he will say something,maybe not ...time will show

 

 

 

 

God bless!

[Your Favourite Smile]

We've been 'involved' with eachother for just over a year, however been in a relationship twice, the first time being for 3 months and then after that it was on and off.. however a lot more serious and committed towards more recent months

 

and yeah, he has always been like this, he has had off times a bit similar to this.. brief worded responses etc

 

and thanks, i will do.. although i have no idea how long i should be waiting?

Its only been a few days since, there is still time i suppose?

[Your Favourite Smile]

I had once a very joyful and happy relationship with the person I loved from the very heart of hearts ...

he hurt me awfully ..I lost all trust in him ... I was all in tears for all he had done as could not ,could not , could not understand the reasons of his acting this way ,of hurting me so much ..

 

and I was silent ....I was silent for far more than I expected from my self myself ...

I was silent as had nothing to say ... I did not know what to say ...I did not want to say ....I had no trust in him any more ..And I ...did not know what to talk to him after all this ... what to talk to him about ...

 

 

Poor you i can relate to this to a certain extent, more specifically the last part of finding it difficult to communicate. Ive kept silent in the past, for too long.. it sure tested my endurance, and it also got me very hurt.

So unfortunately.. i can relate!

 

 

But thanks for the advice i think at this time im expecting too much.. only a few days have passed since after all, and plus he may need time.

[Geishawhelk]

To be honest with you, you have a choice.

You can either continue going back and forth into this relationship, breaking up, making up.... until something definitely better comes along....Until then, just settle for the habitual, familiar....

 

or...

 

You can tell yourself now, that you deserve better, you have a right to be loved the way you are capable of loving - and being demonstrative - and tell yourself that NC means NC - even if he does get in touch - and break it off for good, once and for all. permanently.

This is it.

Finito.

 

Move on.

leave it behind and find a nicer way to go.

[Tarantula]

The last advice was very true and worth to listen to !

 

Victim Girl ,

 

Thank you for relating

BUT I HATE this when people are having compassion on me .

I am never "poor" . I was born,I live,and will once die. I hope . :D:D

So I live my life through pain or without pain life is the best thing we have in life .

 

God bless!

[Your Favourite Smile]

To be honest with you, you have a choice.

You can either continue going back and forth into this relationship, breaking up, making up.... until something definitely better comes along....Until then, just settle for the habitual, familiar....

 

or...

 

You can tell yourself now, that you deserve better, you have a right to be loved the way you are capable of loving - and being demonstrative - and tell yourself that NC means NC - even if he does get in touch - and break it off for good, once and for all. permanently.

This is it.

Finito.

 

I just feel messed up at the moment.. confused..

Youve made it clearer to me that i do have choices, i appreciate it.

I will most likely act when i have more information, however if he doesnt contact in a reasonable time, i will just have to learn to move on.

[Your Favourite Smile]

Thank you for relating

BUT I HATE this when people are having compassion on me .

 

 

I apologise anyway

[amaysngrace]

Victim Girl, I don't have much to add except I have to tell you I very much hate your username.

 

You are allowed to change it. I'm not sure how but you can ask in the forum for questions to Loveshack.org.

 

Every time I see your name it bothers me. Because I don't like that this is how you identify yourself. As a victim.

 

I too have been a victim. But not anymore. Now I'm a survivor. Hopefully when the time is right you will consider changing it. Not for me...for you.

[xpaperxcutx]

If you put yourself in the same situation again and again, you're no longer a victim, but a willing participant.

 

Your bf sounds cruel in his withdrawl, but then so are most guys who can't open up and let others in. We can try to help them, but then we'll always be the ones begging and pleading. Of course its tiring, to constantly subject yourself to their wants and needs? What about yours?

 

You can't think he will call, because that will only give you hope for a relationship that has no stability. Sometimes you have to learn to let go no matter how much it hurts. Of course if you one day manages to look back on the detrimental moment of your time together with him you'll realize you did yourself a good deed of breaking the cycle.

[Your Favourite Smile]

Your bf sounds cruel in his withdrawl, but then so are most guys who can't open up and let others in. We can try to help them, but then we'll always be the ones begging and pleading. Of course its tiring, to constantly subject yourself to their wants and needs? What about yours?

 

You can't think he will call, because that will only give you hope for a relationship that has no stability. Sometimes you have to learn to let go no matter how much it hurts. Of course if you one day manages to look back on the detrimental moment of your time together with him you'll realize you did yourself a good deed of breaking the cycle.

 

Yeah, i guess there are a lot of cases in which guys cant open up and really express how they feel..

But yes, i should look a bit more to what i want, then perhaps itll be easier to make a decision.

 

and yes, well i do think ive made a good decision in ending the relationship at least, however a part of me thought that this might give him a wakeup call, to show that i cannot be taken for granted, that i wont be willing to wait for him whilst he acts so harsh and well.. distant..

 

 

Ah well, i think ill just get on with things, keep a smile on and enjoy myself, which im finding surprisingly easy at the moment

[Konfuzion]

Every time I see your name it bothers me. Because I don't like that this is how you identify yourself. As a victim.

 

 

Glad its not just me... Being a victim is a choice, choose something different.

[Your Favourite Smile]

Victim Girl, I don't have much to add except I have to tell you I very much hate your username.

 

You are allowed to change it. I'm not sure how but you can ask in the forum for questions to Loveshack.org.

 

Every time I see your name it bothers me. Because I don't like that this is how you identify yourself. As a victim.

 

I too have been a victim. But not anymore. Now I'm a survivor. Hopefully when the time is right you will consider changing it. Not for me...for you.

 

Sorry that it does,

 

i will change it as soon as i find out how to do so.