HOw do you tell/hint to a guy about his hygiene without hurting his feelings?

[tuscansun]

So I'm kind of seeing this guy. In my opinion we're just friends but we had an intense make-out...well hell, almost sex, and since then when we hang out the mood is a little sexually tense....He plays drums and I play paino so we like to kinda jam together...problem is, as if things werent wierd enough, last time we hung out, his lips were reaaalllly chapped and he was drenched in sweat and I got super turned off...I know this sounds shallow! But seriously it was kinda gross. and since things aren't really defined anyway..I dont feel comfortable telling him, you smell gross and you need chapstick...ANd it was all wierd cuz when we finished playing he came over and sorta started to get cuddly, sorta implying that we should finish what we started last time...I didnt bite because, well, like I said....the ballziest I got was when he walked me to the car looking all confused and he asked me if he could "at least get a hug" and I said, ur all sweaty....and he goes, well if you don't like sweaty guys maybe you shouldnt date a drummer, and I said guess not, though i hugged him anyway, he texted me and called a lot later that day and he sounded a little insecure. I felt bad!....SO how do you say, or imply, well MAYBE if you hadnt been DRIPPING IN SWEAT, and your lips hadn't looked like Ash Wednesday we could have gotten somewhere!!!

[Tarantula]

So just push him into the bathroom , lock the door inside and hide the key

wash him all over and make some hot sex under the shower

At least you will not feel his sweat "fragrance" at the moment !

 

 

 

God bless!

[Geishawhelk]

Actually, this is great advice!

Tell him, whilst rubbing him down, that you can't stand sweaty men! You know drumming does this, so let's get clean!

 

And whilst you're at it, tend to his chapped lips.

Exfoliate gently with a flannel, and use plenty of cocoa butter....

 

 

sexily......

[Ronni_W]

he goes, well if you don't like sweaty guys maybe you shouldnt date a drummer, and I said guess not,

As per above posters, if that's the direction you want to take it. Say something like, "No, I like dating drummers...and you all sweaty on stage is great. But I also like to get up close and personal with a nice, fresh body. So hey, here's an idea: why don't we both get 'fresh' together? I won't at all mind scrubbing your back, if you'll do me."

Something that is light, playful, and sexy.

[Gremio]

As per above posters, if that's the direction you want to take it. Say something like, "No, I like dating drummers...and you all sweaty on stage is great. But I also like to get up close and personal with a nice, fresh body. So hey, here's an idea: why don't we both get 'fresh' together? I won't at all mind scrubbing your back, if you'll do me."

Something that is light, playful, and sexy.

 

I'm a mid 20s male.

 

I love the idea but as the OP said, they are "just friends". Showering and being intimate in that regard is something (in my opinion) more reserved for a relationship.

[xpaperxcutx]

Just tell him you don't like sweaty people. Point blank. It's not that you don't like him, you just don't like when he's drenched in sweat.

[Isolde]

Thanks for a huge belly laugh. "Ash Wednesday," indeed. Did he have bad breath too?!

[Ronni_W]

Showering and being intimate in that regard is something (in my opinion) more reserved for a relationship.

Totally agree with you, Gremio. In which case, tone it down to something like, "...but I like to cuddle/snuggle/get friendlier with a nice, fresh body. I'll wait while you take a shower."

(But TS also said they are "kind of seeing" each other and had "an intense make-out...almost sex", so things in this department appear to be more open than strictly platonic.)

[tuscansun]

Such good advice, sorry I didn't reply earlier...It was funny because I just wanted to avoid talking about that day altogether but he wouldn't let go. Everytime we would talk he would be like, "SOMEONE didn't give me any love last time" or "Couldnt even get a decent kiss...". I made a joke about how I wanted him so bad he'd go through a whole stick of chapstick by the time I got done with him....It was an interesting conversation and at one point he goes, are you trying to hint something? And I was like, perhaps....luckily I had to jump off the phone so it didn't go further than that. AND funny enough, the next time I went to see him he kissed me the second I walked in the door practically and his lips were soft and delicious, haha. And I noticed a stick of chapstick next to his bed. I had to stifle a laugh. AND he had just gotten out of the shower and smelled delicious..

 

Too bad it probably won't go past friendship though. He's kind of an ass, someone I could be friends with.....and I don't remember who said it but you were right about the whole shower thing. We 'amost had sex' because I didn't WANT to have sex. friends with benefits is as far as itll go with this one, and not that many benefits

 

Oh and don't get me started on his belching......

[movingonandon]

So I'm kind of seeing this guy. In my opinion we're just friends but we had an intense make-out...well hell, almost sex, and since then when we hang out the mood is a little sexually tense....He plays drums and I play paino so we like to kinda jam together...problem is, as if things werent wierd enough, last time we hung out, his lips were reaaalllly chapped and he was drenched in sweat and I got super turned off...I know this sounds shallow! But seriously it was kinda gross. and since things aren't really defined anyway..I dont feel comfortable telling him, you smell gross and you need chapstick...ANd it was all wierd cuz when we finished playing he came over and sorta started to get cuddly, sorta implying that we should finish what we started last time...I didnt bite because, well, like I said....the ballziest I got was when he walked me to the car looking all confused and he asked me if he could "at least get a hug" and I said, ur all sweaty....and he goes, well if you don't like sweaty guys maybe you shouldnt date a drummer, and I said guess not, though i hugged him anyway, he texted me and called a lot later that day and he sounded a little insecure. I felt bad!....SO how do you say, or imply, well MAYBE if you hadnt been DRIPPING IN SWEAT, and your lips hadn't looked like Ash Wednesday we could have gotten somewhere!!!

 

 

Dont't worry too much about his feelings. Just tell him in a playful, but still firm voice - "Dude, you stink, please go shower", and that's that.

 

I'd be more worried about his reaction about "if you don't like sweaty guys, then don't...". I personally I'm convinced that I smell awesomely when I'm all sweaty, but that's because I shower at least once a day and never dripping sweat to begin with. If he has a bad case of dripping sweat though, he should do something about it (though I don't know what, but expecting everybody to be fine with it is not it). Perhaps go the frankie sinatra route and change his underwear every 20 minutes.

But, don't dance around the issue too much.

[Trialbyfire]

Another vote for getting clean together.

 

Nothing is more of a turn-on than getting slick with soap and then...body on body contact. RAWR!

[tidalwave]

So I'm kind of seeing this guy. In my opinion we're just friends but we had an intense make-out...well hell, almost sex, and since then when we hang out the mood is a little sexually tense....He plays drums and I play paino so we like to kinda jam together...problem is, as if things werent wierd enough, last time we hung out, his lips were reaaalllly chapped and he was drenched in sweat and I got super turned off...I know this sounds shallow! But seriously it was kinda gross. and since things aren't really defined anyway..I dont feel comfortable telling him, you smell gross and you need chapstick...ANd it was all wierd cuz when we finished playing he came over and sorta started to get cuddly, sorta implying that we should finish what we started last time...I didnt bite because, well, like I said....the ballziest I got was when he walked me to the car looking all confused and he asked me if he could "at least get a hug" and I said, ur all sweaty....and he goes, well if you don't like sweaty guys maybe you shouldnt date a drummer, and I said guess not, though i hugged him anyway, he texted me and called a lot later that day and he sounded a little insecure. I felt bad!....SO how do you say, or imply, well MAYBE if you hadnt been DRIPPING IN SWEAT, and your lips hadn't looked like Ash Wednesday we could have gotten somewhere!!!

 

 

what the hell? just tell him. if he can't handle it then move on. geez. i always have my self together if i am going to be anywhere near a chick. i would actually want someone to tell me if i stunk or if my lips were like sandpaper. what makes him think that crap is OK? being a drummer is no excuse...