OCCDAVE Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 To recap and make a long story short it's been 2 weeks since my ex of 2 and half years has dumped me cause she needed her so called space.Well the last time we talked on november 20th she said im gonna take a break from dating and keep to myself.She has dropped hints on her myspace that there was some other guy i thought nothing of it cause i felt she was trying to get me to break nc.Well last night i'm at the mall with my friend joe and what do you know it my ex is there all over some guy who looked like a prick not to mention a player.I just felt numb i still am mainly cause in a span of a 2 weeks your already over some other guy heck maybe this has been more then 2 weeks.I am beyond lost i feel now this relationship may have been fake from the start i just thought i meant more then this.Should i go get my stuff back cause at this point nc doesn't mean much or does it.
Vince Black Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 One word.....rebound. No contact till you are feeling better and more secure. Then and only then...........decide you next move. Stuff is stuff, it will keep.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 One word.....rebound. No contact till you are feeling better and more secure. Then and only then...........decide you next move. Stuff is stuff, it will keep.What you mean feeling more secure .I am lost though cause i gave this girl and her two kids the world and just like that she's all over another guy.I doubt think this guy will stick around long she's got 2 kids do most men under 30 want 2 kids who don't belong to them ?
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I'm not sure what "stuff" means. I think I'd just leave it there instead of risking NC. It might hurt worse seeing her. I'd move on in a situation like this. She isn't respecting you or appreciating you. If she is like this now she'll probably be like this 6 months from now.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 I'm not sure what "stuff" means. I think I'd just leave it there instead of risking NC. It might hurt worse seeing her. I'd move on in a situation like this. She isn't respecting you or appreciating you. If she is like this now she'll probably be like this 6 months from now.Well my stuff over there is valued at over 1000 so i'm not just gonna leave it.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Well my stuff over there is valued at over 1000 so i'm not just gonna leave it. If it worth that much to you then go get it and do a permanent NC.
Cub Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Are you worried that she'll sell it, trash it or toss it out the window? I'd doubt the first one, and the other two are even more unlikely - she'll probably just stash it somewhere. Don't go get it, don't ask her about it and don't think about it - you'll only convince yourself that it's excuse enough to check up on her. 2 week club, man! Don't leave us yet; you can grab your things when you're done healing.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 Are you worried that she'll sell it, trash it or toss it out the window? I'd doubt the first one, and the other two are even more unlikely - she'll probably just stash it somewhere. Don't go get it, don't ask her about it and don't think about it - you'll only convince yourself that it's excuse enough to check up on her. 2 week club, man! Don't leave us yet; you can grab your things when you're done healing. Lol im not like i said last night i saw her all over this dude and didn't faze me.I turned around at first i went numb but then said its her loss.I tried my best being there for the kids and her but it wasnt enough.This guy like i said is just filling a void she will get tired soon enough and drop him. sigh Btw jw would it have been better to confront her or it doesnt really matter.
justletgo07 Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I hate to break it to you. Feeling numb isn't the same as feeling nothing. Feeling numb = denial, which is the most common reaction to really shocking things like that. Give yourself some time to process what happened. Like others have said, it sounds like a rebound. Also, you should probably consider the possibility that things started with them before you 2 broke up. It sucks to think about, but factor that possibility into your picture of the situation. I personally think you should get your stuff back ASAP. There is no reason not to. She is clearly moving on with her life, and you need to do the same. Get your stuff back and go no contact. I don't think that just because she's moved on quickly that it means she never loved you. Attraction is a very biological thing, and not something people have a great deal of control over. Relationships often end around the 2.5 - 3 year mark because it is hard to maintain the biological attraction past this point without significant effort, and often people would rather seek out that "warm and fuzzy, tingly all over" feeling rather than try to rekindle it with the person they are already with. Again, it is an unfortunate truth, but a truth nevertheless.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 I hate to break it to you. Feeling numb isn't the same as feeling nothing. Feeling numb = denial, which is the most common reaction to really shocking things like that. Give yourself some time to process what happened. Like others have said, it sounds like a rebound. Also, you should probably consider the possibility that things started with them before you 2 broke up. It sucks to think about, but factor that possibility into your picture of the situation. I personally think you should get your stuff back ASAP. There is no reason not to. She is clearly moving on with her life, and you need to do the same. Get your stuff back and go no contact. I don't think that just because she's moved on quickly that it means she never loved you. Attraction is a very biological thing, and not something people have a great deal of control over. Relationships often end around the 2.5 - 3 year mark because it is hard to maintain the biological attraction past this point without significant effort, and often people would rather seek out that "warm and fuzzy, tingly all over" feeling rather than try to rekindle it with the person they are already with. Again, it is an unfortunate truth, but a truth nevertheless.I think i get what you mean before our one year we kept counting the months and days to it and were so excited.After that it became like meh its been a year and half and so on .
EmperorR Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 my ex was the same, 3 years together cheated on a trip, a week later back home dating some new guy I don't know if there still together nor do I care. It's probably just a rebound in your case, when your in a relationship so long, some people can't bare to be single and alone so they just hop right back in a relationship which to them is their comfort zone.
EmperorR Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 I think i get what you mean before our one year we kept counting the months and days to it and were so excited.After that it became like meh its been a year and half and so on . Same way, me and my ex used to remember every day (21sT) of every month as our anniversary then it was shrug. 2-3 years are the trickiest part of the relationships, and i agree with what the other person said about the spark, my e hopped into some other guys arm so quickly because she said he gave her butterflies:rolleyes:
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 my ex was the same, 3 years together cheated on a trip, a week later back home dating some new guy I don't know if there still together nor do I care. It's probably just a rebound in your case, when your in a relationship so long, some people can't bare to be single and alone so they just hop right back in a relationship which to them is their comfort zone.Whats this rebound term i keep hearing.Does that mean this is just to fill a void and long term it most likly wont last.I know what you mean now she keeps advertising all over her aim away message and myspace status that shes got vibes and is so happy to have this new guy and next week cant come soon enough.:rolleyes:My how we have such a change of heart in a span of less then a month ugh.
johan Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Get your stuff as soon as possible. As soon as you've made a clean break, then you can cut off contact. Don't leave any loose ends. Tying them up later will just undo any healing you've done in the meantime. And leaving stuff with her will just give her a stupid excuse to call you up out of the blue when she's curious about you.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 My friend sent me this on aim i guess it's her status is excited for Saturday...and also kinda admitting she likes you more than she let's on!!! *shakes head* I just busted you sucking face with this dude this has to be directed towards me right ?Well since she's that quick to move on i guess this new guy will go all the way saturday .
EmperorR Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Whats this rebound term i keep hearing.Does that mean this is just to fill a void and long term it most likly wont last.I know what you mean now she keeps advertising all over her aim away message and myspace status that shes got vibes and is so happy to have this new guy and next week cant come soon enough.:rolleyes:My how we have such a change of heart in a span of less then a month ugh. Basically after being in a relationship for so long, it's hard for some people to be alone, so they just hop into a new relationship. Your ex probably feels butterflies and tingly new feelings for this new guy because he's exciting not predictable she knows nothing about him and is just learning and to some that is exciting. Rebound Relationships don't usually last, it just fills a void untill they move on. It doesn't mean she will dump him and come running back to you or whatever though.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Basically after being in a relationship for so long, it's hard for some people to be alone, so they just hop into a new relationship. Your ex probably feels butterflies and tingly new feelings for this new guy because he's exciting not predictable she knows nothing about him and is just learning and to some that is exciting. Rebound Relationships don't usually last, it just fills a void untill they move on. It doesn't mean she will dump him and come running back to you or whatever though.I get what you mean how about that status it has to be meant for me right.Heck you can just as well text the guy the fact you post it online is to spark a reaction out of me.One last thing she text me yesterday saying stop calling my house and cell private my mom is getting mad ?I didn't reply cause i didnt wanna break contact or should i have cause dont i look guilty now.
Vince Black Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Dave what I meant by more secure was ....when you are feeling better about yourself and the situation. you have to be able to be strong and stand tall in front of her. Beware if you are not, then it will show ans you will be crushed. What you don't need right now is more pain. An if you are not strong for yourself, then the pain is gonna be almost too much to take.
Author OCCDAVE Posted December 8, 2008 Author Posted December 8, 2008 what do you guys make of this is excited for Saturday...and also kinda admitting she likes you more than she let's on!!! So Shes already falling in love or what if so wow
Dmoney28 Posted December 8, 2008 Posted December 8, 2008 Trying to understand wonanese will drive you crazy. I tried to do that, and someone told me the same thing. It will drive you crazy trying to analyze everything she says or post. It is.. what it is. Take it for face value...or ask a woman interupt it like i did . PS stay away from myspace, faceboot and AIM. The more you see her and her pics, the longer it will take for you to get through the pain....and she knows you are looking at her profile. Out of sight ...out of mind ( yeah, easier said than done, i know)
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