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I broke NC...what a tool


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Posted

oh no.

recently Ive just been feeling so so sad. its like its getting worse. it IS getting worse. Im so confused and mad with myself. and last night I rang his number (I have no idea what possessed me) but it said something like cannot be connected so what do I do next? ya. text him. a blank message. what the hell is wrong with me? now remember I changed my number so he possibly wont know its me. but dam Im so mad with myself.

 

wake up this morning & I figure if you get that kinda message when you try to call but a text delivers it means hes out of the country with no credit and Im like WHAT? theyre on holidays together already? or hes taken her to meet his extended family already? I already know he had her in town last weekend. He never invited me to his friends parties etc.

 

I wish when he broke up with me back in JUne that hed just left me alone instead of playing with me right up until I completely blocked him the start of september when I found out about her. but he still wrote me a letter- I didnt read it and when he unexpectedly passed by me in his car he stopped came back hugged me kissed me on the cheek and ran off again. that was like 2 weeks ago. . .

 

Im sad. Im really really sad. and stupid.

Posted

sorry you had to learn the hard way about breaking NC

  • Author
Posted

yup thanks EmperorR :(

Im so mad with myself because from the beginning of all this I kept my dignity, no begging/crying/contact. He did all the running.... (of course I shouldnt have ever let him back in) so why now?? Im just hoping because it was a blank message he wont know its me & if he texts "whos this" or whatever Ill just ignore it. and remember not to answer private calls from now on ;)

Posted

There is no point breaking NC. There's absolutely nothing that could be gained by doing that. But I don't think this was a hard way to learn your lesson. You are smart enough and you realized that it was a bad move. There could be far worse scenarios, where you would actually get in touch with him again, hear something you don't want to hear etc.

Posted

when he ran and hugged you gave you a kiss, he probably thought you had read his letter. you should have read it.

 

cause now you dont know if he thinks he has elevated all his guilt etc.

Posted

Haha. I think you are assuming way too much about him being out of the country on some sort of love trip with his girl. Who knows? You shouldn't even be thinking about: Oh he could be doing this... or sh*t! he must be doing that. Not worth it. So totally not worth it. I know I have been doing that lately, and it makes me feel so so so much worse. And for what? For nothing! Just go DO something else when you're feeling like that. Just say no!

 

You're lucky you changed your number! That could have been bad. I don't think I agree with peter pan in terms of reading the letter though. I wouldn't have read it. If I am going NC I don't care what he thinks, it won't make anything any better.

 

he unexpectedly passed by me in his car he stopped came back hugged me kissed me on the cheek and ran off again.

 

That is really weird. I would hate my ex for doing that, haha. Although she wouldn't. Stick with NC! It's just not worth it.

Posted

Don`t eat yourself .

..........................

It really does not help .

 

 

 

God bless!

Posted

yeh i wouldn't normally say reading the letter would be the right thing to do since you shouldn't care or need to. but because she seems confused in his actions maybe reading that letter might explain something?

 

the letter would prob be bs anyway.

  • Author
Posted

thanks for your responses everyone :)

i didnt read the letter cos i was sick of him controlling my emotions, he always seemed to pop up whenever i was feeling good again

but having him stop with me that day....ahh just set me back

my mam read the letter though, she said it was just very pleasant, called me by my petname and made no mention of the new girlf or anything like that. just a "small talk" in the letter form!! he just confuses me.

agree that breaking NC is no way beneficial. dunno what i was thinkin!

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