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Generally, at what age do men want to settle?


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Posted

Just out of curiosity... any consensus?

Posted

My guess: 27 to 32.

Posted

I think the range is larger. From 25 to 35. It really depends on the person.

Posted

I think most men would base the decision on factors like career, finance, and the state of the relationship.

Setting time tables is what women do.

Posted

this is SO dependant on the guy ! I've known 50 yr olds who have decided long ago they aren't the marrying type, and young guys who think it's wonderful.

 

my H is 24 and he was just as excited about our marriage, and was the one who framed the wedding certificate and our pics ! He loves being married.

Posted

Generally speaking, I think from mid 20's to early 30's. Highly unlikely for 35+ single guys to want to settle down.

Posted

I'll never settle in life.

 

As for SETTLING DOWN...I'll do it when I'm ready and I find the right woman. ;)

 

I'm 35...there's still no rush in my book. It's only when you want kids of your own badly when you have to put a time frame. If I want a family past the child-bearing years, I'll adopt.

Posted

I would say a general time I see is between 24 to 32. I think by that time, the partying times have been had and it's time to think of bigger things. If you get married too young there is too much of the other that you haven't gotten out of your system yet as a guy

 

Like others have said though it depends on where the guy is at financially, career wise, and how the relationship is going. Personally I've just always looked for that right person for me. I'm almost 26 now and I've finally found her! I plan on asking her to marry me around April or May

Posted

I'm 40 and would love to be married to the right person. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. But I've seen married people miserable and have been for years. I'll take single over married and miserable. But I think the age can vary greatly. I know people married in their 20's and still are, while some that were married for 2 years at 35 and divorced. Just takes the right chemistry and being able to compromise for the sake of the relationship.

Posted
I would say a general time I see is between 24 to 32. I think by that time, the partying times have been had and it's time to think of bigger things. If you get married too young there is too much of the other that you haven't gotten out of your system yet as a guy

 

Like others have said though it depends on where the guy is at financially, career wise, and how the relationship is going. Personally I've just always looked for that right person for me. I'm almost 26 now and I've finally found her! I plan on asking her to marry me around April or May

 

Awesome man. I hope everything works out. 26 to me is the perfect age to marry. If everything works out with the girl I'm seeing I'll probably be doing the same thing when I hit 26 in two years. :bunny:

 

I'm 40 and would love to be married to the right person. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. But I've seen married people miserable and have been for years. I'll take single over married and miserable. But I think the age can vary greatly. I know people married in their 20's and still are, while some that were married for 2 years at 35 and divorced. Just takes the right chemistry and being able to compromise for the sake of the relationship.

 

Do you honestly think these people married miserably? No. They didn't accept each others actions, didn't plan things out, but do you think their marriage started out miserable? No. I do agree marriage takes compromises, but only a few certain things. Someone once said "In matters of taste, go with the flow...in matters of principle stand like a rock."

Posted
Do you honestly think these people married miserably? No. They didn't accept each others actions, didn't plan things out, but do you think their marriage started out miserable? No. I do agree marriage takes compromises, but only a few certain things. Someone once said "In matters of taste, go with the flow...in matters of principle stand like a rock."

Of course they didn't marry miserable. I never suggested they married that way. They're just unhappy and still together, which doesn't make a lot of sense, but it happens quite a bit anyway.

 

Compromise is what makes an individual part of a marriage. We don't marry clones of ourselves. And how much you think of your spouses feelings more than yourself. Some things people can't compromise on, but marriages last on settling differences and always keeping the love intact.

Posted
Generally speaking, I think from mid 20's to early 30's. Highly unlikely for 35+ single guys to want to settle down.

 

Interesting. Why do you say that a 35+ single guy would probably not want to settle down? Are you saying that if they're not married by 35, then it's probably because they don't ever want to get married? I'm involved with a guy who is 37, so find this interesting.

Posted
Generally speaking, I think from mid 20's to early 30's. Highly unlikely for 35+ single guys to want to settle down.

Assuming this thread is about settling down v. settling, that's not true at all. It's my primary target group and most want to and will work towards settling down. Part of the issue that you might be confusing, is that some of these guys are incapable of working towards functional relationships, since there's been too much alone/set in their ways time.

Posted
Assuming this thread is about settling down v. settling, that's not true at all. It's my primary target group and most want to and will work towards settling down. Part of the issue that you might be confusing, is that some of these guys are incapable of working towards functional relationships, since there's been too much alone/set in their ways time.

 

Wow interesting, cuz the 37 year old guy and i were talking bout the sex n the city show and he said the show is realistic. I asked how so and he said that because it shows how in real life that you can like someone but it doesnt mean it will work out. He said, you can like someone but there can be imcompatibilities. Eventho I agree to an extent, I thought it was a rather cynical statement.

 

Personally, I think there are uncompatibities, but sometimes these things can be worked out no? I guess I try to be bit more optimisitic. I'm 25.

Posted
Wow interesting, cuz the 37 year old guy and i were talking bout the sex n the city show and he said the show is realistic. I asked how so and he said that because it shows how in real life that you can like someone but it doesnt mean it will work out. He said, you can like someone but there can be imcompatibilities. Eventho I agree to an extent, I thought it was a rather cynical statement.

 

Personally, I think there are uncompatibities, but sometimes these things can be worked out no? I guess I try to be bit more optimisitic. I'm 25.

I'm going to avoid the SATC comments. :laugh:

 

Yes, you can like someone and be totally incompatible. If one person is a complete disorganized mess, clothing strewn everywhere and the other is a neat freak, how happy do you think the two will be together, nvm all the other traits that go with being disorganized/organized? Love is never enough.

Posted
Generally speaking, I think from mid 20's to early 30's. Highly unlikely for 35+ single guys to want to settle down.

 

:confused: Hardly, I'm 40.. divorced with no kids though. I was ready around 35 myself. Being 40 and divorced if the right woman came along I'm crazy enough to try again.

Posted

I think it depends on the guy, the relationship, etc.

 

I agree that older men (especially 35+), if they've never been married before, are less likely to want to settle down and get married. Not that they won't, but they tend to get ridiculously picky and set in their ways by then, so it's harder. Sometimes this happens to women, too, but I think it happens more often to men.

 

However, I think a lot of older men who have been married before are quick to settle down, because they were always the men who liked to be in relationships and they genuinely liked being married, just not to their former spouse. I've seen this a lot, too. It kind of depends on who initiated the divorce and how it went.

 

I think most men begin to think about settling down after college (22-24 or so) and before 30.

 

 

 

Yes, you can like someone and be totally incompatible. If one person is a complete disorganized mess, clothing strewn everywhere and the other is a neat freak, how happy do you think the two will be together, nvm all the other traits that go with being disorganized/organized? Love is never enough.

 

Call me naive, I think love is enough to overcome minor things like that! I know lots of happy couples with a slob and a neat freak. ;)

Posted
Call me naive, I think love is enough to overcome minor things like that! I know lots of happy couples with a slob and a neat freak. ;)

 

Sometimes people connotate naivity with a credulity that impedes effective functioning in a practical world. And in a certain context that would definitely be a valid view. However, in matters of the heart I think being naive can be a blessing and curse at the same time. It is unfortunate that there are those out there who will use those people as a doormat but that is the nature of the human race.

 

In short, I tend to have the same thinking that love will help overcome minor things, within certain boundaries.

Posted
I'm 40 and would love to be married to the right person. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen.

It's more challenging for a 40yo guy to find the right person than a 25yo, simply because as you grow older, your checklist for a mate also grows.

Posted

It depends so much on the person . . . :bunny:

 

 

 

God bless!

Posted

I find it very odd when a guy who is a good catch (meaning healthy, good looking, stable income, straight, mentally stable) to still be totally single at 40+. Since we seem to have a number of them here, would you care to explain how that's possible?

Posted

I think "readiness" implies that you'd be able to function in the context of a relationship, with the right person. Typical requirements for that state of mind include financial stability, understanding of your goals in life and how to acheieve that, and understanding of your preferences as it relates to sharing your life with someone.

 

I think there's a small group (25%) who are ready at 22, another one (25%) who are ready at 25, and 30% more who get there in their 30's; the rest aren't the marrying type.

Posted
It's more challenging for a 40yo guy to find the right person than a 25yo, simply because as you grow older, your checklist for a mate also grows.

I would completely disagree with that statement. My checklist is actually a lot less and I'm much more laid back about things. It's the life experiences that can cause people to grow and become more understanding of others as they get older.

 

I find it very odd when a guy who is a good catch (meaning healthy, good looking, stable income, straight, mentally stable) to still be totally single at 40+. Since we seem to have a number of them here, would you care to explain how that's possible?

The type of job I have doesn't meet the type of mate I look for and I've had LTR's that just didn't work out. The most current is in the last month. I also had some illnesses during early 2000 that caused me to be in and out of the doctor's office that took all my time. Turned out to be nothing but all the tested in involved took over a year.

 

Basically bad luck and my choice in women, career move to a different state/city in my early 20's, etc. etc.

Posted
I think "readiness" implies that you'd be able to function in the context of a relationship, with the right person. Typical requirements for that state of mind include financial stability, understanding of your goals in life and how to acheieve that, and understanding of your preferences as it relates to sharing your life with someone.

 

 

I disagree,

 

generations ago, there were young poor couples who worked together to make their fortune.

 

Its more about knowing what you want, knowing what's important, and developing yourself enough to have the tools to attract that person. I could have gotten married younger, but, its taken a while to unlearn the things I was taught as a child so that I can be successful at dating.

Posted
Call me naive, I think love is enough to overcome minor things like that! I know lots of happy couples with a slob and a neat freak. ;)

You'll learn. ;)

 

That's just one example of an issue that can cause friction, especially in something seriously committed like marriage.

 

Speaking about marriage, strongly differing financial perspectives is one of the top items that cause divorce. I suspect that some of you might also be able to provide an example of marriages that "work" when one partner is financially responsible, while the other spends like there's no tomorrow. Good luck with that one too! :laugh:

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