iwanttolive Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I do. Now that he's gone, i have to get on with life. But what is life without him? I have built my life with him and it has come crashing down. I have planned to accompany him in the journey of life, to be a source of love n support for him. Now, that life has vanished. What sort of life should I lead? What is a meaningful life?
norajane Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 What sort of life should I lead? What is a meaningful life? Those are excellent questions, and you are the only one who can answer them for yourself. The first thing is to know that now is the time to be a source of love and support for YOURSELF. All that energy you devoted to him and to taking care of the relationship belongs to you. Turn it toward yourself. What you will find meaningful will be unique to you. Some people start with self-improvement, often physical (going to the gym, taking dance classes, learning kick-boxing, yoga). Not only do you take care of your health, but that will also help with your spirits. The endorphins you get from exercise will improve your mood and give you more optimism about your life. Some people even end up turning their activity into a passion that is fun and they excel at it and even meet new people who share that passion and make friends. Some people go intellectual or artistic, and return to their love of reading, writing, painting, music, gardening, things that may have dropped by the wayside while focusing on the relationship. It's not only a hobby, but again, a passion that enriches their lives and reminds them who they are and what is meaningful to their internal lives. Some throw themselves into career or school, leading to a sense of success and self-satisfaction, as well as preparing them for a secure future. And most return to their family and friends, people who may have gotten less of their attention while in the relationship. These are your base of support and love and laughter and joy and comfort. Give to them, invite them for dinner at your house, or go out dancing, or help them paint their kitchens. Reconnect with the ones closest to you. Through this process, you will find yourself again. And eventually, you will meet a new love and will have a more enriched YOU to offer.
Angel1111 Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Yeah, I've gone through that. It makes me just want to crawl in a hole and hibernate for about 10 yrs. I hate it. I hate the way it makes me feel blindsided and empty and lifeless. But I guess it's a normal reaction. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take a pill at night and wake up without those emotions?
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