bkaz01 Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 so have been in an off and on relationship for the last three years with similar patterns and it hurts so bad. we recently broke up in september and yet we still continued to talk everyday and still see each other occasionaly. well last week we were talking and getting along very well and she had said how shemisses me and wanted to come see me the night of thanksgiving and last friday she wanted to come over to have sex but i shot it down because i thought things need to be talked about first. and i saw her out on saturday and she was very rude and acted as if she didnt know me and told me to leave her alone. then on mondays he said she wants me to leave her alone til today(friday) so i did it it was so hard it took everything in me not to contact her i love this girl and want to marry her. so she calles me this morning and it started off ok the nit just went down hill she said that she just can talk to me and can not see me she also said she doent wantto have to talk to me everyday and she has to change her number and of course this destroyed me. so i get a text around 445 saying goodbye i try to call after work around 5 the number is changed i wanted to drive off a cliff. my main question is is this difficult for her and do u think it hurts her notto talk ot me after three years. and how can she want to see me a week ago and now want to be in this situation.this is the 3rd time she has changed her number.if she missed me a week ago do u think she still misses me now. she is also a diabetic and has very bad mood swings and she is not good at keeping up wiht her medicine . she is always sick and tired cause she is a poor diabetic. and also bi-polar runs in her family her grandma has it and sometimes i think she does to. when we first started dating she was on prozac and other anti-depressants. in the beginning everything felt so perfect and we fell for each other so damn fast. i do not knowwhat to do with my self i am in need of some advice desperatly i nver felt this way before. HOW AFTER 3 YEARS CNA SHE SAY SHE DONT CARE AND OR WANT TO SEE OR TALK AGAIN. when i did nothing wrong after she was saying she missed me and wanted to see me and have sex
Gremio Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 You said it yourself. She has mood swings. Don't let her issues bring you down when you aren't together anymore. Those types of actions are exactly how a drunk acts... happy, angry, and miserable all in one night.
Angel1111 Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 These on/off relationships are killers and they will drive you nuts by keeping you in perpetual turmoil. One day you're on an extreme high and the next day you're on the lowest low. It's such a jerk-around for your emotions. To answer one of your questions, yes, I'm sure she does miss you and is probably hurting just as much as you are. I think that's why she changed her number - because she can't trust herself to stay connected to you, yet be broken up at the same time. It all sounds like a bunch of self-created drama to me and I'm guessing that in a week or so, you're going to hear from her again. I'm sure you love her but you need to ask yourself if you want to continue to do this to your life and emotions. She sounds extremely unstable and this means there will be a lot of crazymaking behavior in your life if you get back together with her. I know it seems like your feelings will never change but they will. But if you just can't stand not being with her, then try to get her back. But the real problem here is that the relationship has no stability. You could get her back, but it's just a matter of time before it blows up again. What do you do with that? There are no easy answers because your emotions have a tight grip on you right now. Maybe it's worth it to you to keep trying. If you think you still want to get her back, then leave this alone for awhile and then try to contact her at some point. I'm sure there are other means of contacting her aside from her cell phone.
EmperorR Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 People change like how one day is fall the next is winter, people's feelings change like the weather. We all wonder how can someone who was with me for 3 years that I saw every day, can not care or be so cold to you. She was probably detaching from you months ago sorry but it's true. And no your not ready to die, ah I've been there,c ouldn't eat for a few weeks, wanted to die, couldn't bare the pain, but it gets easier. I gurantee you go NC, cold NC,, fight the urges and in a month you'll feel better a few more months much more better.
Author bkaz01 Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 its not getting easier i just wish i knew what was going thtough her mind. he r emotions are like a roller coaster
OCCDAVE Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 its not getting easier i just wish i knew what was going thtough her mind. he r emotions are like a roller coasterI'm in the same position you're in dude.My gf of 2 and half years said she loved me to death and wanted me to pop the question this month.Next day bam stay away from me and my kids.Yesterday i was at the mall and found her making out with another dude.Some women are just evil i guess cause i didn't see this coming.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I could be wrong, but I read this as classic bipolar symptoms. She is going up and down with your emotions. I personally would break it off completely from her. She is not healthy for you and probably won't change, unless something drastic happens in her life. Her alone can only take care of the diabetes, and taking the medication correctly. But even so, treating you this way is very unhealthy.
Author bkaz01 Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 ya she will not control her diabetes and everytime i bring it up it gets an argue ment started i wish 3 years ago when i saw she was on prozac i would have left i knew bi-polar runs in the fam its hard when u fall in love w some one though
Tarantula Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Bkaz01, I am stunned to read your post. If she is so swingy mingy then you will have problems with her if you go on staying in the relationship with her ... If all her "leave me alone" sayings have no reasons ,then just ...look over once again what kind of relationship you are into .. and I do not think ,that any disease would be a real excuse for behaving like that she is .. God bless!
Author bkaz01 Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 i just wonder if or when she will contact me again...i niticed she went on her myspace last night which she never does prob expecting me to leave a message but i refuse to tlak to her til she calls me being that she changed her number...for the 5th time in 10 months
spupwc Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 oh my, sounds like my story but I have many more stories man.. married 2 yrs. together 5. she was diagnosed wit bi-polar long before we met, tried alot of meds. and said they didn't help her so she denied being that and states she was misdiagnosed.. our relationship has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride... not that I was perfect but she was a real drama b****! she wud profese her undying love for me then within hours I was an a-hole m-f-er!! I always tried to reason with her with issues, issues that were normal ones, most times and she wud unleash her wrath on me and sabotage and just over complicate us... I guess the only reason I stayed so long was the manic phases where she wud be so loving n just awsome to be with but had her otherside to deal with was really,really hard... she thretened me with a knife once and destroyed possesions of mine just out of pure rage. changed her number twice then call a few days later, keyed my trk, burnt holes in my recliner, hit me, threw my phone in a pond, destroyed my pc only to buy me a new one the next day, said horrible things to my son and so on...we split in june,got bak together in aug. she then cheated and have been seperated since oct.9 and she now has another man that will have to deal with this once the romance stage is over and I m here on ls coping... don't be a fool like me and hang on so long... your better off moving on from the drama, and finding someone else... i know its hard, I try to remember the bad things that happened but the good times are very powerful but u will save much much pain from her if u wud just run and don't look bak....that's advice for me also... be strong!!
Author bkaz01 Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 thank u i need all the help i cna get sorry about ur situation its notthe fact that i wantto call her now its the fact that ifi want to call her down the road some day just to say hi i cant do it
Geishawhelk Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Nobody's asking you to, so don't even think about it. You're thinking about the future in your Current mind-set. Stop going anywhere but here, don't be in any time but now. Because in that, you definitely don't have a choice. You can't escape it. So make the best of it, not the worst of it.
goodmorningtowakeup Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 look here buddy boy,,,,i was in your shoes. I can tell you right now that the single most important thing in being with someone, is honesty. ITS NOT HONEST to act like how you are acting. you are acting like someone who is scared of the world... I can tell you are a smart guy but you arent acting smart right now. You need to realize that you might not be the best now, but you will be totally ****ing awesome to someone out there....cause when you meet hte right person, things dont cause break-ups, they dont cause mind games, they dont end up like how you are right now. You obviously want to keep the dream alive, but im telling you it will end up in a ****ty ****ed up relationship where you will always be asking yourself, "when will it happen next?" There are sooo many other members of the opposite sex...just dont be so shallow dude....cause i hate to say it, but im sure you are if you dont care about the simple facts...you arent happy with her, you can be better off without what she carries around obviously... Ive dated someone who was always in****ed up health also, and thats NOT what you want. Especially if you are together and this person is ****ed up....tons of it IS MAKE BELIEF just to get attention. Only she really knows how many times she made you believe she was close to being in a ****ing coma WHEN SHE WAS FEELING PHYSICALLY FINE. She just wanted attention and you ARE STILL only so glad to give it to her. If you see her again dont talk to her. If she comes to talk to you act like you dont give a **** about this dumb bitch. You are asking questions that need to be answered...but im telling you right now...even if you marry someone...youre really only dating yourself in the end. END IT. Dont hang on to this creep. She is a creep im sure... no matter what creepy **** you did, you want it to work and she DOES NOT. It doesnt matter what these people say...cause they will LIE TO THE END. After you break up even. After your mind is destroyed and you want to die, she is only looking at what she might be able to catch out there. youre asking stupid **** man...its so much better to JUST KNOW that you are the better one....that you didnt play the mind games...and if you did, you were only playinbg along with someone to make them feel like it was all good in the hood cause you understand...but you can never understand being crazy unless you are also....and then its really just being dumb towards the world. You will find someone who is a good person who is not crazy. I know from experience that being in a relationship like yours, especially over a year, makes you ****ing nuts... do you want to be as nuts as you know deep down she truly is? you should feel better about the person who you are, someone who realizes you cant be with this person because she is crazy as **** and theres no relating to that, fun as it is to think we can... normal people will never understand these nuts. Therefore, theres no use in trying to be with them....even if you do want to have kids with her, that is a false feeling. You just wish you could be able to, if that makes sense. just **** it man...work on the things she bitched about so you dont make the same mistakes, but **** it. You cant be with someone like that....no matter how pretty she is....she is a wicked witch on the inside who will kill your spirit. she will kill your spirit if you get back with her.
Author bkaz01 Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 all i really want is for her to treat me like an adult and just be civil w me some day i dont want to lose her forever and ifshe wants her space right now im willingto give itto her but **** its so ****ing hard. and i dont even know if she feels the same way and is just happy to have me gone i would think she is hurting a little after 3 years but the b**** is so cold or maybe it was just a front i dunno but i would like to have some closure right now....any advice
Author bkaz01 Posted December 8, 2008 Author Posted December 8, 2008 so i talked to her on im then she started saying how she hates life and wants to die asap and no one apperciates her and now i feel as if i shoule be there to make her fell ok but i know ifi do i would be stupid what to do
Author bkaz01 Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 i added some details to my situation any advice out there
Dmoney28 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 i know its hard to let go of her. But she is in no condition to be in any relationship. She needs to see a psychologist to address some major issues. Also she needs to see a psychiatrist to be put on some good meds to balance out those mood swings. That would take months to show any results. If she dosent want to get that help, there is nothing you can do. I know you love her. But its not healthy to be in a emotionaly and verbally abusive relationship. Now if she wanted to get help...and got it, thats a diffrent story. Then maybe you could support her through it. But right now, i'd try and stay away.
Author bkaz01 Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 i know its hard to let go of her. But she is in no condition to be in any relationship. She needs to see a psychologist to address some major issues. Also she needs to see a psychiatrist to be put on some good meds to balance out those mood swings. That would take months to show any results. If she dosent want to get that help, there is nothing you can do. I know you love her. But its not healthy to be in a emotionaly and verbally abusive relationship. Now if she wanted to get help...and got it, thats a diffrent story. Then maybe you could support her through it. But right now, i'd try and stay away. thanks d money ya i know she needs help and i told her i would never re-consider anythin if she didnt get help and i know it would take time and if she would i would be there every step of the way supporting her
goodmorningtowakeup Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 just listen dude....i WAS IN THE SAME EXACT THING. Some of the **** you say is stuff i said then and im saying to you once more...all youre hanging onto is her physical being man...HER BODY. I was planning on marrying someone who was "suicidal" who would be the most lame unhappy person ever and the only reason why i stayed was to have sex...even tho of course i couldnt see it that way then... before i met her i was depressed and lonely...but not suicidal. People who are suicidal need a special type of attention that no BF or even husband can provide...because you are only one tiny aspect of thier life...the rest is overrunn by wanting to embrace the world they secretly hate, and their own lame grief. I lied to myself for a really really long time, and the only thing i can remember thinking was....is it really worth it to be with this person if they want to die? Theres only one thing worse than that buddy boy....her telling you YOUR FIRST. And believe me...with people that think only of themselves the way suicidal people do...it could develop into that.... be warned man...obviously you want to help cause you think youre in love...but you cant really be in love if you arent as sick as her...sorry dude... my heart goes out to you...but you'll feel a lot more liberated if you just let go and find someone new in time.
Recommended Posts