iwanttolive Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 And I don't understand. Because we were so sweet n loving. He told me he loved and adored me a lot. He bought me an expensive necklace just a few weeks ago, hid it in my bag as a surprise. We booked a holiday for the new year. I was his first gf n he told me finally he would not be spending Christmas alone. There was no fight, no major incompatibility. Suddenly he asked me if we can be friends first. He did not want to lie to me that his feelings for me have changed. He said sorry. I hate to hear a sorry! The only mistake I made was probably agreeing to be his gf too fast. After knowing him for only 1 month. I guess we were too passionate at first, so now the intense feeling has cooled down. N he's doubting that. But there's nothing I can do to persuade him. I woke up a few times last night. Each time I woke up, I heard him "I do not want to lie to you..." How can this happen??? OMG!! How do i cope with this when there's no reason for the break-up? It's like unnatural death n I can't rest in peace...
BCCA Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 His feelings for you changed, thats the reason for the breakup. And count yourself lucky, thats about as up front and honest as you can hope for. A lot of people get 'its not you, its me' or some crap about family/work/school. I dont think rushing to be someones girlfriend too soon is a bad thing, and a month is enough dating to figure out if you want to go that route. Generally for me, once we start sleeping together, I need to know that I'm the only one youre going to be screwing or forget it. How can it happen? A million different ways, but none of them are really worth wasting your time on. His feelings changed, which is what honestly happens in most relationships. It's like how you'll see somebody work at a place for 8-10 years, and then one day, they've just had enough...there is no rhyme or reason for the timing. Realize that you two are on different pages, and as long as that remains the case, neither of you will be happy with any arrangement between the two of you. Youll always want the relationship, he'll always just want the friendship. Its a catch 22, and the sooner you accept things for what they are, they sooner youll start to heal. No one intentionally hurt anyone, its just unfortunately, he doesnt see you as his long term partner right now, and may never. What should you do? Dissapear from his life, and thereby, make him dissapear from yours. Im sorry, I know it sucks...I definitely do!
Author iwanttolive Posted December 6, 2008 Author Posted December 6, 2008 he doesnt see you as his long term partner right now, and may never I don't know if anyone ever will. If in such a loving relationship, my guy can lose his feelings, how will i ever have confidence to date again...
BCCA Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I don't know if anyone ever will. If in such a loving relationship, my guy can lose his feelings, how will i ever have confidence to date again... Dont sell yourself so short. I just got out of a 5 year relationship where the girl who I counted on to be my rock for the rest of the life, that promised herself to me forever, just 'wasnt happy' anymore. Its not your fault, there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone, at one time or another, has been or will be in your shoes. What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. Pick yourself up off the ground, dust your shoulder off, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Time does heal all wounds, as incredibly cheesy as that might sound.
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