txsoccermom Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 My divorce was final June 13th of this year. after 13 years of marriage we have 1 daughter. before the div was final my ex moves this girl, he met on the internet, with four kids in with him. Now he already engaged to her. I feel bad for our daughter, beacuse he has pretty much taken this new family and left is daughter out. but he still expects to get her for visitation even though he has broken our decree have the gf there at night with my daughter. is this woman just a rebound for me or what? do i have the right to keep my daughter from going to see him because of the girlfriend? whats going on? why do i feel like strangleling him over this. and i feel like beating the crap outta this girlfriend because i feel like she is the reason he is acting like he is towards our daughter?
sadintexas Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Frankly, I'm surprised the clause regarding overnights with the girlfriend was left in past the temporary orders. Usually courts will not try to tell someone they can't have a social life beyond the divorce, but will limit certains things DURING the divorce. But trusting that's the way it's written, unless there is something specific that says you can withhold visitation for a violation, what you will have to do is petition the courts for a breach of the agreement, or contempt of court, whichever way your attorney would steer you there. If you simply withhold visitation, YOU will be in contempt of court and will likely suffer more consequences for denying his visitation. I don't mean to sound uncaring here, but the fact is, rebound or not, he has a right to move on with his life, and if he intends to marry this woman, you'll have to deal with that. Co-parenting isn't always easy, and the other parent might make decisions you don't like, but as long as they don't endanger the child, accepting them is something you must do. It's up to you if you want to pursue this legally, but you can't control what he does anymore, and even if you get this squashed, you'll have to let go at some point.
Author txsoccermom Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 the decree states that if he is not married, gf cannot stay the night while the child in visiting. Well he just pretty much does what he wants and doesnt care who it hurts. i have contacted my lawyer, but it takes money and he already behind on that. which i ctc the atttorney general for. just a hurry up and wait situation. he wants things done his way. and doesnt care about my feelings. but im just protecting my daughter. she was up there in Aug. The g/f kids were mean to her, and yelled at her. and i swore i would never put her through that again.
sadintexas Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I understand your point and feel for you. If you decide to deny him visitation, just be prepared to fight it in court if he decides to file against you. That's legal "self help" and is generally frowned upon. You have to decide if you want to petition the courts in your own suit, or wait until he files against you. Of course, if I felt my daughter was in DANGER then I would take that risk all day long to protect her while gathering evidence. But there is a big difference between danger and discomfort. Just curious, what are you going to do IF they do get married and she is then entitled to live there with her children? You can't keep your daughter from them then. f this is a serious enough concern for you where you feel she is in danger, start documenting EVERYTHING. I mean any type of communication, dates, times, topics, visitation drop off and pick ups, things your daughter tells you, etc. It may seem a bit anal, but you don't know when that might come in handy. Esp if you're considering taking the law into your own hands. You might want to consult with your attorney to see where your money is best spent, i.e. filing a contempt of court suit, defending a contempt of court suit, or filing to modify the divorce decree to eliminate overnight visits. I think that's where I would start personally.
kahluakutie Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 Does your ex know how the new gf's kids treated her when she was there, maybe he's completely unaware of it. If he does know and it could continue on future visits, I agree with sadintexas document EVERYTHING! I'm kinda confused though about what the new gf being a rebound has to do with your concern for your daughter.
whichwayisup Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 do i have the right to keep my daughter from going to see him because of the girlfriend? Talk to your lawyer about this.
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