serendipity_2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 So recently my boyfriend broke up w/ me. He was very nasty, extremely rude and did everything possible to hurt me. I was told by him to never call him again and that i should move on. So i did. Keep in mind he was got with another woman immediatly so i am thinking that he was seeing her behind my back which is also very painful. So i go on with my life and he calls a (few days later) and calls just to talk.Now the 'talk didn't consist of really anything. Basically just small talk. Then he calls me a later on that wk. and says that i'd better not be dating other men. I tell him that i can date who i plz bc he sure didn't have any problems replacing me. So 2 wks go by and he randomly sends me a text, which i ignore and finally he calls once again to say that he was checking to see if i was ok. Then after that, he asks me if he can come over and i told him NO bc of the fact that he has a girl friend. After I tell him this he immediately brags about how much his mom loves his gf and how he misses her so much and after that i got off the phone, bc i couldn't take anymore. My question, why is he doing this to me. I am so confused as to what he wants. I am very hesitant to get back w/ him mainly bc i know i was dumped bc i didn't give him sex. I am 21 yrs. old and still a virgin and i just wanted to do it with someone i was either married to or someone who wanted a strong relationship. I am thinking that he couldn't handle that but he could have told me instead of leading me on and then pressuring me.
BCCA Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 First thing to realize is that you should probably stop taking his calls. Do you really enjoy hearing about his new gf and life? Probably not, and he's going to keep doing it because its a total ego boost. He can tell the person he dumped how hes moved on and happy while theyre sad and alone. Its not intentional, but he'll keep doing it until you put a stop to it. Waiting for him to 'realize' hes hurting you and stop is going to take forever, and probably not happen. The thing to realize is that there is really no way to know what you can handle until you try. Maybe at one time his interest in you was so high that he was ok without sex, but that could have changed, or he could have thought that no sex meant no sex for a few months or something like that. For some people, a lot as a matter of fact, sex is a critical part of the relationship, and without it, they wont be happy. Too bad for them if its important to you to wait. He sounds like a piece of work. Can I ask why you even want to waste your time interacting with him anymore? Surely this has to feel awful.
Author serendipity_2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 First thing to realize is that you should probably stop taking his calls. Do you really enjoy hearing about his new gf and life? Probably not, and he's going to keep doing it because its a total ego boost. He can tell the person he dumped how hes moved on and happy while theyre sad and alone. Its not intentional, but he'll keep doing it until you put a stop to it. Waiting for him to 'realize' hes hurting you and stop is going to take forever, and probably not happen. The thing to realize is that there is really no way to know what you can handle until you try. Maybe at one time his interest in you was so high that he was ok without sex, but that could have changed, or he could have thought that no sex meant no sex for a few months or something like that. For some people, a lot as a matter of fact, sex is a critical part of the relationship, and without it, they wont be happy. Too bad for them if its important to you to wait. He sounds like a piece of work. Can I ask why you even want to waste your time interacting with him anymore? Surely this has to feel awful. Well the only reason i interact with him is bc he was my 1st bf and deep down i want the relationship to work. I also feel very lonely and during the time we were together he would say mean thing about how i looked physically so i don't feel like anyone else will want me. On top of that I am also a very shy woman and it's so hard for me to date.
Geishawhelk Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK ANY MORE. You really want this guy back after all he has said and done to you? Girl, where's your self-esteem and self-value? He thinks he still has the right to control what you do, and who you see....? As if he ever had that 'right' at all - !! Don't ever accept another call or message from him again! Kick him to the end of the world, and go out and find some fun! Every defeat, every failure, is only because you think it so! You're a loving, warm, kind girl. Go find someone who deserves you.
gd26 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 This guy sounds like an absolute creep and loser. He is so not worth your time. In fact, he sounds so horrible... that I would suggest blocking his email, IM, phone number or whatever else... so that there is no way for him to contact you. Keep that monster out of your life. I know when you are lonely, you feel willing to settle for whatever person is out there. But honestly, I promise you that there are guys 1,000 times better out there who will treat you so much better. There is no reason to settle for his nonsense and abuse. Save your virginity for someone who truly adores you and you are in a very stable happy relationship with. This guy is just not worth your time or energy... he seems like an AWFUL person from your description.
Dlyrica Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Oh my gosh please do not talk to him anymore! What a loser, thinking he has you wrapped around his finger and he can have you back whenever he wants. I seriously wouldn't talk to him again, he doesn't even sound like the type of person who you should want a second chance from. I think if you get back together with this jerk, you will seriously regret losing your virginity to him! Go out and find someone who loves you for you and not someone who messes with your emotions to the point where you don't think you are good enough for anyone. You WILL find someone better you just need to give yourself the chance to do so. As long as you continue to talking to him and he keeps bringing down your self-esteem I dont see that happening for you. Free yourself and be happy girl!
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