ozzietraffic Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Background: So my ex-girlfriend dumped me around 5 months ago before school started. Like a week after that, she wrote me an email saying that she wanted to think about whether she wanted to try working things out or not because she still really loved me and she was sad. Well, I let her have her week with no contact and she realized she had made the right decision in the first place (I later found out from the grapevine that she actually was seeing another guy in that week). We had lunch before I left for school (her idea). Then we occasionally texted, nothing significant, while I was at school, also initiated by her. She wanted to just be friends with me. Well a few weeks before school ended, I started receiving more emails from her and in higher frequency. In one email, she even included that the words "I miss you" at the end. I found out through friends that her friend had "broken up" with her, even though she did not consider them a couple in the first place. I am guessing they did not have sexual contact as the guy was frustrated with their friendship. It reaches my birthday and she calls to wish me a happy birthday. One of the first things she says, after I tell her that she is one of the first people I am talking to at this age, is that this is a new step forward in our friendship. This really startled me, but I didn't let her know. We talked amiably and it was actually really nice, like the old times. She seemed interested again and it wasn't awkward like the lunch before I left. At the end she told me to call her when I get back for break so we can "chill." Present: Well now I'm back home, recounting all of this, and I am still not sure what she wants. I feel like she really misses me this time, especially by the way she talked to me on the phone. I really miss her, and for some reason I think we were meant to be (I am also a romantic and I have a very active inner life, and we really connected and loved each other for the year we were together.) So I am not sure what to do now. She told me to call her, and I really want to, but I am not sure if this is right. I am afraid of breaking her initiative in getting back with me and taking the initiative. I am afraid of seeming desperate and driving her away. But at the same time, I feel like she may not contact me before I leave again, and by that time it might be too late. Should I contact her soon? Perhaps for another lunch? Or should I just wait for her or never contact her again? Thank you in advance and I am interested in hearing interpretations.
Geishawhelk Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 It's simple. She wants to go out with you again. Are you willing to take the risk and try again, or do you want to move on, and let this be in the past? Your answer will determine whether you pick it up and run with it, or go complete No Contact. As far as is possible.
Author ozzietraffic Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 Ok well i just emailed her on instinct and I asked her if she wanted to get lunch on saturday. I will let you know what happens. Thanks so much for the advice, it really gave me the extra boost of confidence I needed. Hopefully it works out well
Author ozzietraffic Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Well I went out to lunch with her today and it went well for the most part. Mainly just friendly talk, I was pretty nervous but so was she at first, but we got more relaxed after getting used to each other again. One thing I am confused about are her intentions... she asked me if there were any girls I was interested in, and I told her that I knew a few girls and hung out with them but was not really interested in them. Then for some reason I kind of added that there is another girl that I might be interested in, but I am not sure (I was not hinting at her btw, I am not that tricky lol). Anyways, I figured that she was checking my availability (what do you think?). When I asked her if there were any guys she had her eye on, she listed people but said that she wasn't interested in any of them. Other observations: at the end of the lunch, she said she was glad we had lunch and that she would see me the 27th to cut my hair. Well, right before we split ways, she added quickly, "well of course we would hang out before then. Maybe we could catch a movie or something?" Another observation: She seemed really flirty the entire time, but this could just be her being more relaxed then last lunch. She is a flirty person in general. She also was very well dressed and looked great. She also looked through my cell phone pictures and I had forgotten to erase a picture of me and her before the lunch, and before she closed the phone, she kinda smiled. I think she saw the picture... From what I observed, I think she still likes me but is still trying to gauge whether she wants to be just more than friends or not. She is also probably trying not to get rejected if I say no. Just curious what you guys think. Also, if I do go to a movie with her, how should I act? My intuition tells me I should try to make a move (like hold her hand or something) of some sort if she signals something... what do you guys think? I know this might sound kinda creepy.... I guess I over think things, but it usually works out for me... just kinda looking for a second opinion. Thanks again. just remembered: after she told me she was not interested in anyone, she added that she "just doesn't have time for a relationship right now." forgot about this... made me feel really bad but I am not sure if she is just talking about her busy work schedule or if she is serious. I am guessing she was just talking to fill in space...
moonmoon Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 If you truly like her or think there is a future, go for it, or spend the rest of your life wondering. If you are unsure about any of these things, dont say anything, wait for her to initiate, and if you hang out, hell just ask her what you are asking us, and go from how you feel from her answers. I think she likes you bro..
Oscar51 Posted December 9, 2008 Posted December 9, 2008 Tread lightly here. This friend she broke up with, how much do you know about him/her. He couldve left her and now she's looking for some comfort, so she turns to you. The signs she's giving you say to me that she is interested but I question her intentions. I'd play it cool if I were you and make her do the work.
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