alwayssme Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 It is weird!!! I go from reminiscing on the good old times, and mising him like crazy...crying and trying to think of ways to get him back in my life...and I become depressed, wanting to call him and "remind" him of all the good times we had, thinking he's gonna miss them and somehow turn back to being who he used to be!!! Then I get slapped right back into reality by seeing him FLIRT with other girls on facebook....I get sooo angry and really realize how much he doesnt give a damn... Then I go back to "But he HAS TO...how can he possibly not want our relationship back" Then back to "Things happen in life. He changed. Remember if you make that call your not calling who he USED to be, your calling who he is now...and now hes someone who no longer loves you. Ouch it hurts like hell, you never excpected it but sometimes things go wrong in life and we just gotta deal with it. Then I tell myself cry as much as you need to but NEVER CALL HIM because you will feel worse." LOL the **** i have to go through NOT to call my ex and make an idiot out of myself in hopes of getting him back to my life............LOL so sad how much i love him when he clearly has moved on..........ahhhhhh i feel like the old him died and this new him doesnt belong to me anymore....by the way i was his first everything just like he was my first everything sooo just the thought of him being with someone else hurts me......thats y no more stalking him online....its sooo hard not to though grrr gotta fight those urges and MOVE ON...however I feel more comfortably but damn it i need to LET GO!! "Let go and let God";)
Author alwayssme Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 and sometimes i go back to feeling so guilty for things i did to him and wishing i acted better...and wanting to show him how much i have changed...then i remind myself he said 'its not you its me" LOL He said I did nothing wrong, his feelings just left so i calm down and know that i learned ALOT from this experience, i KNOW im a much better person now... Also I want to be his friend but then think wit how cold he acted towards me, he doesnt even deserve me showing him any love or emotions....unless one day i am completely over him and moved on in a new happy relationship........ I cant wait for this stage to pass lol........now i feel im more sad about not having "love" in my life than about him.......cuz im angry with him at this moment.....and i wouldnt do the rebound thing, i'd rather be lonely than desperate pretending i need someone there......i just dont want my ex to get back with his ex....which they have been hangin out a lot...ughh i think that would just be rock bottom for me...him moving on before me.....no matter who its with...i guess i just want him to be single untill i fully heal...i have suffered enough
iwanttolive Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Alwayssme, the emotional roller-coaster is your mind shifting from reality to what you wish it could be then back to reality then back to your wish. The reality is who he is now, not deserving your love and your slightest thought. Im going thru what ur going thru right now. I feel like pleading with him to love me and not to leave me. Im refraining myself from contacting him. I want to live my life, although i'm forcing myself to do so now. I want him to know he left a strong n mature gal...
Recommended Posts