TeaAbraham Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 So last night I had a dream about my ex. Not the first, but definitely the most memorable. I don't know why I am having such subconscious thoughts after how far I've come. I was at her place. Which was actually our place. The apartment we lived in, and that I still live in right now. I am not sure why I felt it was her place. It was weird. In-fact, I didn't think it was my ex's place, I thought she was someone else. I thought she was a new gf I had. She was getting dressed into her night clothes. She was about to come to bed. I was thinking to myself how great it was to be with this new girl, who was different from my ex. Next thing I know the girl is with me in bed. It is my ex. But this didn't really surprise me even though I had thought it was another girl. She was wearing that sexy nightgown she used to, which usually signaled something special for that night. She was above me, and I was kissing her chest. Somehow we were back together, or something like that. Or maybe it was before everything happened. I don't remember. But I know I felt like it was some sort of reconciliation between us. So I was kissing her, and she was enjoying it. Then her phone rings, and she picks it up. It is her ex. Or perhaps now it is her new-old bf. Whatever. He says something terribly amusing or romantic, I'm not sure. I could hear his words but I've forgotten them. In any case they were perfect words. I always thought he was so perfect. I always wanted to be more like him. She was laughing in my arms as she heard his voice. I wake up. Disgruntled. I have been feeling much better lately. Not completely healed by any means, but not feeling terrible. I don't know why I had this dream at this point and time. I may have seen her in my dreams before, but not this intensely, and not for a while. I guess lately the situation has been creeping into my thoughts more than I would like. Just thinking about them together, particularly making love. It's not as painful thinking about it anymore, but it is definitely not helpful for me. So maybe that's why I had this dream. I have trouble thinking of something else once I get started thinking about them together. I know I am slowly getting over this, so why do I have this dream now when before when I was feeling so much worse I don't remember dreaming anything like this? Why am I kissing her and feeling horrible when I hear her laughing on the phone when I don't even love her anymore? I was enjoying kissing her. I must have felt love for her in my dream. But I know I don't love her anymore. Why? I thought I was past this sort of thing. It didn't make me feel horrible anguish and pain when I woke up, but I would rather not have been reminded of the events. Anybody else have stuff like this happen? How can I feel love for and kiss her during the night while I despise and loathe her during the day? edit--- I just realized I am really making things worse by giving this the time of day and spending more time thinking about it and what it means. This morning I felt bad about having it but just went on about my day. It's really not that important, and delving on it makes it worse. Just some old, dusty nerve connections firing in my brain.
Surfer Dude Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 You're having these dreams because subconsciousness and conscious mind are separate domains of thought and often have different notions about things. We often repress things and it's important to realize that subconsciousness has far bigger memory span than we might think. In other words, you repressed love for your ex and you repressed memories of your relationship, but they still live somewhere inside you. Plus, subconscious mind has no idea that you broke up with your gf, it constantly relives experiences and memories that influenced you in a significant way during your time spent awake. I used to dream a lot about my ex until I finally let it go and accepted the fact that she is gone forever and will never be back. This doesn't occur only when you dream, but also when you deeply immerse yourself into something. You know that feeling when you suddenly realize you're not with your gf anymore, it hits you like a train every time. That happens when you focus on something so deeply, that you lose the string of thought that's keeping your connection with reality, you simply revert to whatever your unconscious mind is focused on. If you're interested in meaning of dreams, the unconscious mind, you might wanna take a look at dr. Freud's book.
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