Author D-Lish Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 How's your instinct about these things usually? Right on or clouded by old wounds and insecurities? I just ask because I can get negative and frightened when nothing too dire is happening. I've got abandonment issues, so what I feel about a situation is not always the truth. I would just hang back and watch his actions for a little while, trying not to get caught up in my own expectations (both positive and negative). I feel for you though. I'm exactly like that... Prone to over think things because of past experiences. I have pretty major abandonment issues as well- so I think I look for negatives specifically in a situation like this. I think he is pulling back a little because he knows he is leaving to do some more travelling in the next couple months. I know I am pulling back and getting anxious for the same reasons.
Author D-Lish Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Hi D, Just wanted to clarify...you said that his dating profile hasn't been active for the past week. You guys have by all indications been a couple for some time. Do you mean that until this past week he's been checking out the dating site and communicating with other girls? If I was as close and intimate with someone as you seem to be with him, I would never be able to handle something like that. Call me old-fashioned, but that would REALLY bother me. I'm not SUPER bothered by it as we haven't made any declarations of comittment to one another in any sort of offical way. Unless that happens, I still check my mail once and a while as well.
Capricciosa Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I think he is pulling back a little because he knows he is leaving to do some more travelling in the next couple months. I know I am pulling back and getting anxious for the same reasons. Though I'm often a chicken about such things, maybe you should just talk to him.
audrey_1 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I'm exactly like that... Prone to over think things because of past experiences. I have pretty major abandonment issues as well- so I think I look for negatives specifically in a situation like this. I think he is pulling back a little because he knows he is leaving to do some more travelling in the next couple months. I know I am pulling back and getting anxious for the same reasons. I'm not SUPER bothered by it as we haven't made any declarations of comittment to one another in any sort of offical way. Unless that happens, I still check my mail once and a while as well. Please, please, please take a breath. Try not to over-analyze, and just take it one step at a time. Try to avoid sabotage mode at all costs!! I ruined what could have potentially been my optimal situation out of my stupid insecurities, born of my parents divorce and other past experiences. If I hadn't given over to that fear, we would probably be in a relationship - a healthy, fabulous one at that. Do not let your mind play tricks on you. Everyone is not THOSE people who made lasting impressions on us. We can't keep thinking they may *potentially* be, and end up ruining good things that come into our lives.
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