Peter_pan Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 basically i have heard my ex is visiting back in my home town. im not sure if she will be alone or wiv the guy she left me for, its been a year basically and im feeling pretty down about it. mainly because ive not heard from her in that long and also i hate how she made it impossible for us to remain friends, since she went out wiv this guy right away i cant believe it. just feeling so crap. i'll prob see her and break down again... and ill prob still love her when i see her or get reminded of how she speaks and how she sounds, seeing her smile. smelling her smell. words cannot describe the pain i have felt losing her and knowing she is with this guy and still is. and thats the way it is. and i know the advice will be dont speak to her. if you bump into her be polite. well tbh i really dont know how i should act, or what i should do. like i feel if im all nice to her and blatently ignore the fact she wronged me, then thats it, it will always be that way "she didnt do anything wrong" kinda thing. and o im all good with that.... then if i dont say anything and just ignore her, isnt that childish? id prob want to bring him up and the whole f ed up situation she has left me in. but my mum said its prob not worth giving her the satisfaction of that. i dont wanna no about her life, i dont want her to no about mine. not out of hate but because i just dont care tbh. my life socially is amazing. work and education wise i dont exactly have anything to write home about im feeling anxious again and want to reach out. but whats the point thats what hurts the most. i just wish things were different between us.
fabulousgal Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge hug (((((((((((((((peter pan))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry, i know that feeling wishing things were different and i think having a totally awesome life and still having that feeling makes it more trippy! just go out with some buds or something that weekend, try to distract yourself. you are strong. you run this sh* you'll make it through.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 so just stay away basically the whole thing sucks. why why why why why sniff
JoeNat Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Just stay away my friend. NC all the way on this one. You will one day get over this but until that day... Just keep up with NC!!!
Author Peter_pan Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 it hurts though. i always think of breaking nc just to see whats what. its hard to handle the whole thing. we grew up together she was my first everything. i miss her a lot. what she did or more, how she did everything is what has left pain inside me. i just wanna be with her. the person she was. i cant hack she isnt that person anymore. its so soul destroying. i loved her so much and didnt realize it fully at the time. its left me with so much regret and sadness, emptiness, and longing. i would literally do anything for her. i put her before me in my life and i didnt mean to drag her down if she ever felt that way. tbh i think all of this energy into her is because i never felt there was any closure. i need to get it somehow. and i know you say it comes from within and i dont have to break nc to obtain it. but maybe i do? like someone else on ls said, you dont like feeling they had the last say. we were each others first love, i cant except she dosnt want me anymore and has moved on just so f ing painful. i hate that all this time has past and here i am, never saw or heard from her. thinking if i just left her alone she would come back. it helped her move on and now the gap has widened never to be closed. because i didnt act on my actions. nc is going against your instinct. wrong. want to cry.
replicator Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 it hurts though. i always think of breaking nc just to see whats what. its hard to handle the whole thing. we grew up together she was my first everything. i miss her a lot. what she did or more, how she did everything is what has left pain inside me. i just wanna be with her. the person she was. i cant hack she isnt that person anymore. its so soul destroying. i loved her so much and didnt realize it fully at the time. its left me with so much regret and sadness, emptiness, and longing. i would literally do anything for her. i put her before me in my life and i didnt mean to drag her down if she ever felt that way. tbh i think all of this energy into her is because i never felt there was any closure. i need to get it somehow. and i know you say it comes from within and i dont have to break nc to obtain it. but maybe i do? like someone else on ls said, you dont like feeling they had the last say. we were each others first love, i cant except she dosnt want me anymore and has moved on just so f ing painful. i hate that all this time has past and here i am, never saw or heard from her. thinking if i just left her alone she would come back. it helped her move on and now the gap has widened never to be closed. because i didnt act on my actions. nc is going against your instinct. wrong. want to cry. My ex will be in town for the holidays too.. I'm sure. Our stories have a lot of similarities. I remember when I first started dating her, I made her a promise that if I ever stood in her way or became a burden to her that I would walk away no matter how difficult it was. While she walked away, I like to think that I let her go too because I wasn't what she wanted. It's painful, but that's just how it is. Someone once told me that if you love someone you need to be willing to let them go. If they love you back, they'll come back on their own. If they don't, then it just wasn't meant to be.
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