Not satisfied contributing to destroying our marriage she is on a sick mission!

[I'llBeBetterOFF]

This has got to be one of the most challenging times in my entire life. Because of an affair I left my husband sixteen months ago and shortly after he moved his girlfriend and her son in to our home. Was it not enough to have to have been a contributing factor to ending our marriage and her own? She just won't let up and continues making comments not only inappropriate, but inaccurate as though she is some "expert" She is using a personal website to send messages directed at me. I am hurt feeling anger and disgust. Obviously she is getting her information from someone.

 

I guess what it boils down to is I am not dealing with a respectable decent human being for starters as someone who was of good moral stature would not be caught up in the middle of someone else's marriage.

 

How dare she make statements that SHE didn't need a man to buy her home.as if I did? Because of our marriage my husband was afforded so many "toys" he would otherwise not have been able to acquire. I don't want to put myself in a position where I am on the defensive yet I am. I left trying to keep my head up high and keep some dignity.

 

Why I even bother looking at her ridiculous profile when I end up so upset and so offended. This is torture and its all so twisted up!**

This is the latest dig directed at me**

 

"never needed a man to buy a home i bought my own, dont have to make a man pay my way i am woman enough to do it on my own,i dont try and hurt people just because it's over knowing that i am my own woman i have a life i built by my self (get a life) yours"

 

She also states on this profile next to marital status "taken" Yeah no kidding!! Ought to be "stolen"?

 

This woman has the benefit of living in MY HOME!!!! With my husband!!

And he and I purchased our home together equally contributing. I've no idea what she is eluding to making the statement that she doesn't try and hurt people just because its over? Stating she is her own woman and built her own life? She is like a blood sucking leach living in my home with my husband contributing to delaying the settlement in my divorce. They both are responsible for where I am at now displaced by this divorce and I've a right to a new life myslef.

 

Someone made mention several months ago that you just don't know what my husband is telling her (the other woman) and I am sure that has a lot to do with this. Still, it makes absolutely no sense to be party to breaking up a marriage regardless of its health then take such a position. I cannot relate!

 

This is SICK! What do you do? Turn the other cheek? Why has she taken to digging her claws so deep in me? I never knew this woman.

 

I raised two children from a previous marriage and take a great deal of personal pride. This woman has got to have some serious psychological issues!

 

Credability is definitely an issue here! Integrity is everything to me

 

Awhile back (three months ago) my husband told me this woman wanted to know if I would like to go to brunch with them and I was very puzzled at the suggestion. Then he proceeded to tell me that his girlfriend wanted to know if I would like to be "their roommate" This conversation was in person between he and I. Later I e-mailed him and told him I couldn't consider such an arrangement that I was still so devasted over the break up of our marriage and the result was a phone call at 1:00am to me with her screaming at me. Minutes later my husband called asking me "did you send that e-mail"? Unfortunately, my husband also told my mother in law that I had suggested moving in with them. If this is so I fear he has some very serious psychological issues himelf. This is such a mess!! It lacks honesty and I suppose affairs always do or they would be non existant!

 

What do you do? My looking at her stupid profie is not healthy for me so why do I subject myself to it? Still looking for answers, but in the wrong place and I doubt I will ever understand why this happened!

[Tony T]

I think this woman is a saint compared to your husband. HE was married to you, she hardly knows you. You're best bet is to stay away from both of them. You're wasting your precious days on this earth being concerned with her. She is crazy...and your husband picked her over you. And you are the one who picked your ex husband. So you have to take some responsiblity for picking an asxhole for a husband.

 

Move on. The hurt will diminish the more angry you get.

[I'llBeBetterOFF]

Tony:

There is definitely something to be said for getting angry. I can honestly say it feels good to speak up and speak out. This ordeal flipped my entire world as I once knew it upside down. I shared your input with some friends and they were unanimously supportive of my coming to terms with this situation in a healthy healing way and surprisingly encouraged me to YES get angry!! Know what? LOL it feels GOOD to get it out!!

 

Yes, you are so right I chose him to be my husband. A very eye opening experience, but hey, I often find myself referring to the old adage, "adversity builds character" I will come out of this a stronger wiser person. You are a very wise soul.

[ilovemybabies]

Honey take heart in knowing at least YOU were not a skanky whore to get what you have!

[Lani01]

Hi I am new as well, I feel your pain. People always says "its the man not the woman" which is true. However as women I feel we should use proper judgment in most situations and not be an "accomplice". What goes around comes around. I on the other hand, am in the other shoe from you, but I was deceived, I did not know I was the other woman, and I was not given the oppurtunity to say NO thanks. You have a right to feel the way you do.

 

Time heals, you and that woman are the victims, only she does not know she is one as yet, her guilt will be her own demise in the future.

 

I posted "violated by a married man". I am experiencing a strange new pain in my life at this point, I think eventually I will need to seek therapy, perhaps you can do the same, it might help you through this sick disturbing situation.

Best Wishes!

 

Lani

[I'llBeBetterOFF]

Hello to "I LoveMyBabies" and "Lani"

 

I am so glad I found this site!! Words cannot express my gratitude!!!!

 

I just returned this afternoon from another 400mi round trip to go to court yet again trying to resolve issues. This other woman is going at it full bore targeting me still and I spoke to my husband about it. He said he told her not to. A lot of good that will do considering she has no respect for our marriage or my position in this. She made a horrible statement about feeling she is "Blessed" to be YOUNG ENOUGH to have another child and that infuriated me...........She is a real low life piece of white trash!. Guess its pretty apparent I am still very angry and actually only recenlty came to the realization I have every right to get angry and I believe it may have been Tony who suggested it and it does feel good.

 

I told my husband yesterday eye to eye (while at the court house)that I'd have stood by him through anything, but NOT THIS that I was committed for life.

 

I was so close to his family now it is a very uncomfortable estrangement. I feel like I am being treated ike I was the one that disrespected my husband and our marriage and its quite the opposite. I did tell him yesterday how very hurt I am and that I never dreamed in a million years his family would distance themselves like they have. He said "Its a tough situation" Yeah Right! I told you you know I was a good loving daughter in law, sister in law, wife, Aunt. I never bargained for this!

 

I do wish people would use their heads and keep their smutty comments to themselves. I am sick to death o fhearing my husband had multiple affairs. What is the point? It is very hurtful and destructive and cruel. My husbands girlfriend continues to make these statements as though in her twisted way I suppose this is how she justifies what she has done.

 

I've a loooooooooooooong way to go in healing. I cannot even consider dating. I don't know if I ever will be ready.

 

Thanks again your feedback and input is truly valued.

 

"K"

[EnigmaXOXO]

She made a horrible statement about feeling she is "Blessed" to be YOUNG ENOUGH to have another child

 

 

Hmmmm....FINALLY, the sequel to "Rosemary's Baby!"

 

Sorry, BetterOff. I know my sarcasm does absolutely nothing to help the situation. Just can't help being frustrated for you.

 

I'll slap my own mouth and duck out before I start another brew-ha-ha....

[2SidestoStories]

Let me offer my condolences in your time of....egads!....Pain, and let me also emphasize that we're here for you to rant and rave at, as well as offer what support we can via this lovely modern medium of the internet!

 

Your member name is a definite tribute to the spirit you posess: "I'll be better off!" Know that you already are better off without this bozo.

[jenny]

is there anything that might be considered technical libel on the page? it might be worthwhile checking into the laws of your area about what may be printed about another human being.

 

 

p.s. even if this is fruitless, it might help to do something active, and then you will be able to say, pointedly, next time you see her, that you have been looking into cases of libel.

[I'llBeBetterOFF]

Hi Jenny:

When this first started and I sent a copy to my divorce lawyer he said yes it definitely was grounds, but that I already had so much on my plate that he discouraged me from doing anything at this time. She has made references so their sex life and my age (I am older than my husband)

 

She is a very crude low life! (IMO) I did tell my husband yesterday while at the court house..........why does she have this vendetta against me? She doesn't even know me! She took my husband contributed to the end of our marriage moved in to my home 3 weeks after I left and then has the guts to take this position and she and I have NEVER been introduced. She was also married and supposedly her divorce was just final this past Monday. She's definitely a real piece of work and he's gonna have his hands full!

 

I'm saving all this junk who knows where I might go with it.

 

Food for thought anyway

 

Thank You Jenny!

"K"

[KickHer@ss]

Just want to know: do you live in a community property state? Since you paid 50% of your home's value, she is on YOUR property and I'm sure there must be a legal way to get her evicted. Even if you didn't pay a dime towards the purchase, as long as your husband is married to you, so long will his property also be YOURS. You're still his wife, she's *ONLY* his WHORE. If I were you, I'd do WHATEVER it takes protect my financial interests and fight for my financial security. Don't let your scumbag spouse cheat you financially, he's already cheated you emotionally and morally.

 

Just one more thing: Since your divorce is already under way, just hang in there. This woman sounds very insecure and probably has an appalling self-esteem: why else does she have to keep putting you down you? Take heart in the fact that you'll be out of this UNHOLY mess shortly while she'll ALWAYS be a loser. It wasn't bad enough that she contributed to ruining your marriage, she also has to keep dissing you to make herself look and sound "better". I'd feel sorry for such a PATHETIC CREATURE. As for being her own woman.... errr... you weren't the one that had to steal to another woman's man, you weren't the one that had to keep dissing his morally and lawfully wedded wife to justify living with her husband and you paid for 50% of your home while she just shamelessly lives on your premises....She claims she's her OWN WOMAN?! She needs a mirror...and a long, hard look at her self. Or maybe she's already gotten the message because eligible, single and available single men won't have her? They obviously don't find her quite so purrrrrrrrrrrr-fect and charrrrrrrrrrminggggggggggggg as your moron does................

 

Chin up!

[I'llBeBetterOFF]

Many months have passed and I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water. Easier said than done!

 

We have since put our house up for sale. My husband contacted me as he felt compelled to as his step father was attempting to buy out my share of the house, but my husband realized he would end up owning his soul so he decided to come in my direction and we both agreed. I no longer speak with my in laws especially after hearing all that has gone on behind the scenes. I am disappointed beyond words. I was a good daughter in law and a devoted wife and they resort to such sneaky tactics trying to buy me out for literally crumbs nowhere near what my share of our property is.

 

Now, the girlfriend is still in the picture and "allows" my husband to call me ONLY if she is there. He is forbidden to call me or communicate in anyway without her being present. She hooks up three way calls to his cell if there is a need for us to talk about something to do with the sale of our house and then continually makes comments she doesn't want to be PUT in the middle! It is so aggravating!

 

She made a point of telling me how comfy cozy our house now looks because THEY got a Christmas Tree. I was enraged. I try so hard to control these emotions and I did come back to her with he and I had our own traditions and ALWAYS BOUGHT A HUGE CHRISTMAS TREE! It still hurts very much and I know I've a looooooooooooooooong way to go to heal!

 

I just want this over in the worst way and still cannot believe that I trusted him with my life and believed in him now face the shock of this reality!

[GoodnPlenty]

This lady is miserable trash. Your husband, soon to be ex, has become the can the trash is dumped in.

 

Set 'em on the curb to live a healthier, HAPPIER life free of this brand of garbage.

[Arabess]

It seems to me he is promoting the constant problems between you and her...in order to keep the focus off of himself. He should NOT have moved her into the house you shared, he should NOT put you down in front of his family, he should NOT let her continuously attack you.

 

You are going thru all of this because even NOW...he won't stand up and be a man to anyone involved. What a Spineless Wonder he is!! If I were you, I'd be glad she is stuck with the A$$....while you have the freedom to move on and love again.

[lostforwords]

This is SICK! What do you do? Turn the other cheek? Why has she taken to digging her claws so deep in me? I never knew this woman.

 

 

you are not going to want to hear this.... but yes... turn the other cheek and get your divorce..... karma will definately fall into place one day..... perhaps she is doing this because she is scared of what you and your husband shared..... i just dont know... but please trust me when i say....... do your heart some good and just turn the other cheek. i feel for you so much.

[I'llBeBetterOFF]

Your words are much like close friends of mine who have been so supportive! I know he needs a good case of "backbone" that is

for sure!!

 

I never realized what I was getting myself into trying to get out of this situation. Our legal system has been absolutely no help either. The courts are so backed up and I don't think this is reasonable to have dragged on for 18 long months before something was legally done to force the sale of our house. This is wrong! I'm sorry to say I think that people who deal in divorce don't stop to think these case numbers are tied to lives. I would like to see a change in Family Law Courts.

 

I know I will be better off in the long run. Someone who would do something like this to their spouse is very telling of their lack of character. His word is no good and he was more adept and lies and deceit than I ever realized and he will continue, but I won't be his victim. I'm looking forward very much to the sale of our house so I can cut all ties!! FOREVER and not look back!