Amalia Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I have been in LDR for more than a year with a person who lives 1500 miles away. We are both working and see each other occationally as much as we can.. Usually once o twice in 2 or 3 months I care for him very much, I think he is everything I always wanted. I adore long hours speaking with him at evenings when they happened. I don't believe I could ever love and trust someone more... Before I met him, I have been for 5 years in relationship with other person and I never cared so much. It was never so important. With him I believe everything has a bigger value, things finally have their sense, specially small ones like cooking, drinking coffe, watching movies, ordinary things that happens every day. I really really care for him... He is the first person that actually has become more important than me myself. Sometimes when he works a lot or have some other obbligations I don't have an opportunity to hear him a lot, in that cases I freak out. I feel lost, can't concentrate on anything, sometimes just wait near computer hoping he will be able to come online, sometimes I think I should do something but I never do it actually... It is becoming problem because I feel too much attached, to much dependable on him... I want my feeling to stay the same, or to grow even more but I don't want to feel so dependable.. What can I do???? When I met him, one year before, I was really on the bottom... I was in that other relationship that was becoming more and more destructive. My ex was pursueing marriage, I didn't feel ready, I felt something was missing but I wasn't able to define it. Since I know my ex for 10 years, and I believe he loved me in some of his way, altough I understand now how wrong this relationship was, it was difficult to end it dramatically (I wanted to stay in touch as a friends, now I understand we can never be because i can't forget some things that happened) what was at the end the only solution. I was becoming more and more weaker, with less self-confidence searching for the missing thing on wrong places, I also started to lie everybody, I made distance with all of my friends and I didn't have anybody to talk with... I was terrified with fears, doubts and I wasn't able to get out of that situation... Now I wonder if he didn't decide to return and stayed with me for some time, I would probabably not have a good end. He practively saved my life.. But I don't loved him for this, altough I appreciate that extremely. I love him because he is wonderful person, he made me dream again... If only sometimes history doesn't come back. Now it makes me feel seek, sometimes even vomiting. ..In that time he had so much of a patience, he so much talked to me trying to explain me things... I was really a psihological case than. Things were worse because everybody saw my ex as a perfect loving person. My parents adored him, and they didn't understand my decisions. Now I feel better, but I can't immaggine life without him, it terrifies me, it makes me feel destructive, with so much negative thoughts, doubts, with fear we will not be able to find a way to eventually live together, that problems will tired us... What should I do?
loosingmymind Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 i donno exactly wut to tell you but i think the same thing is happening to me at this point and i donno wut to do. i met this girl online like a 14 month ago we talked everyday on the phone internet texting we wouldnt let like half and hour pass without getting in touch we shared everything and everything was great. she used to live in another country but that was never a problem then we decided to meet in the last summer where we both were going to spend our vacation at our homeland we met w got engaged everything went awesome then she had to go back to her country and me 2 and we decided to get married next summer. she went back and then i came back and we were still talking great and everything was going awesome then she had to go back again to where we met cause she had planned to study there for like 4 5 month and then go back home she is been there for 5 6 weeks now i know everything maybe has changed on her but since she went there i feel that she started loosing intrest eventually i know that she is not cheating on me or not intrested in anyother guy i tried talking to her like 3 times and tell her how i am feeling and i told her that if she doesnt feel the same way to just let me go and all she did was cried and told me she loves me and she wants me in her life and that i am all she wants but when we talk now i feel like she is totally different she is colder she doesnt talk about anything anymore im the one talking all the time and she would only reply with a simple answer lately she is not intrested in even talking to her best friends i donno wuts going on with her i donno wut to do sometimes i think i should just let her go but its confusing cause i know i do love her and i know that we both got pride and if i left her she wont come back and i wont go back either im kinda feeling lost
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