marlena Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 I only dated one and he uses alcohol to shut down his thoughts. Yes, I agree. Alcohol can affect people differently. For some, it can be destructive while for others it can be productive and creative. Not all people have the same reactions.
Trialbyfire Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 I dated two guys with OCD. If someone's apartment looks like it's out of a crate and barrel catalog (especially a single man is his 20s), that's probably a bad sign. Both these guys were so cleanly they never would have considered having a pet (let alone a child!) They both had an hour-long morning grooming routine (including extensive use of hair product). They were both incredibly nice at first and then became totally condescending and and controlling. Don't get me wrong, I like looking good and having and clean, organized house, but neither is my reason for being. It's always degrees of obsessiveness that defines whether or not it's a disorder. Most focused or intense people are obsessive to a degree. If it dominates at the expense of everything else, then yes, there is a problem.
pandagirl Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 On the first date, this guy talked about his ex-girlfriend and why she was evil and how the weekend before he had made out with a lesbian in a bar bathroom. Oh, and he didn't own a TV.
MadBambi Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Haha....you know i usually ALWAYS trust my gut and after finally being able to get out of this last "thing" i was in i see why! At first i wasn't interested in this guy because his approach was similiar to many others whom i don't give the time of day. My initial thought was "please, try that game on someone else" And i walked away. Unfortunately for me i didn't know we were starting our training together, would be assigned to sit beside each other and would end up working together! Which meant he had everyday to put his game on me! And it worked. I starting thinking wow, I was wrong, he's different.... Nope! That was wrong! He was just like them other ones, that type that i avoid. I never intended to date one to find out first hand - but i'm still alive. No harm, no foul...
amaysngrace Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Yes, I agree. Alcohol can affect people differently. For some, it can be destructive while for others it can be productive and creative. Not all people have the same reactions. Well he's working on it. He admits the problem. But he is a really terrific person otherwise. He cares a whole lot about me too. And all those other bad things we've mentioned on this thread, he doesn't have anything else on the list. Not one other thing. But hey nobody's perfect right?
Author Lishy Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 That is so right, nobody in the world is perfect and we cant ever expect to meet someone who is perfect Just watch out for the danger signs to a very miserable life
marlena Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Well he's working on it. He admits the problem. But he is a really terrific person otherwise. He cares a whole lot about me too. As long as drinking does not alter a person's character,then, to me, it is not a problem. What is important is whether or not the drinking interferes with personal relationships or one's job performance or overall responsible stance in life. AG, You seem to have come to terms with it and are happy. That's all that matters.
Author Lishy Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 My ex was a complete tosser when he had a drink - But my recent ex was great when drinking and never abusive My motto is this "all men are arseholes, but it depends on what type of arsehole you have got and if you can put up with it" lol
marlena Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 My motto is this "all men are arseholes, but it depends on what type of arsehole you have got and if you can put up with it" Yes, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, it is all about degree and tolerance. Some things are tolerable, while others are not. Anything taken to an extreme that becomes detrimental to the point of endangering one's peace of mind and overall well-being should be discarded on the onset.
Author Lishy Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 You say it so much more eliquently my darling Marlena!
amaysngrace Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Thanks girls. I am pretty happy being with him for the most part. But two weeks ago he passed out on me and I wasn't a happy camper. We only get every other weekend to be together. This weekend is one of those weekends. He's been warned but just in case I have a back-up plan for tomorrow night. Some girly house party selling girly things but after they are all going to Boogie Nights in Atlantic City. You're right Lishy, it could be miserable but I am done letting it make me miserable. And hopefully he'll step up to the plate but in the meantime I won't let it get me down anymore.
marlena Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 You say it so much more eliquently my darling Marlena! No, no , I really don't. Not here anyway. If we were out having drinks, believe you me, I'd talk your ear off!! I know you and I would have a blast!! Who knows? Maybe one day we will. I am planning a trip to London very soon! :bunny:
Author Lishy Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 Oh excellent!!!!!! Let me know when and we can meet up!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Lishy Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 Amay, I would be so unimpressed if I saw my bf once a fortnight and he got so drunk he passed out! Men are so inconsiderate! Next time he does it, rifle his pockets, take his money and go out on the town and then thank him for being so generous to pay for you to have a night with the girls hahha he would be so tanked up he would not remember lol Dont get mad, get even lol
amaysngrace Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Next time he does it, rifle his pockets, take his money and go out on the town and then thank him for being so generous to pay for you to have a night with the girls hahha he would be so tanked up he would not remember lol Dont get mad, get even lol Lishy that's a really good idea but he's so OCD he checks his doors and windows fifty billion times so there is no way for me to possibly break into his house and steal all his money. I will get even if he pulls this crap tomorrow. It will kill him to know I'm in a club and he's too drunk to drive there. It really would. And it would bother him for days being OCD and all.
Author Lishy Posted December 5, 2008 Author Posted December 5, 2008 I mean if he passes out in your company - Rifle and club ok lol
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