Spacecowboy79 Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 That's what they are designed to do - GET IN THE WAY. Tell me this ladies, if the man you have been with for the past few years up and tells you he never loved you and moved out on you, GEE, I wonder what that could possibly mean??? That's what happened to the woman I am seeing/talking to. Right as things might have been looking good for me the god damn ex pulls a fast one and starts messing her up. Now she tells me that she and he are in counseling that he is paying for, and that her counselor told her not to date for awhile. She tells me that she's doing it for "clarity" and also mentioned "possible closure." Why would you go to counseling WITH an ex to seek "closure?" Is that the way to do it? I'm not a mental health professional so I don't know. I'll I have said to her really is "hey I'd like a chance with you." I remember her distinctly telling me that she "wants to be ready to give me a shot." But then she'll turn around and tell me things like "don't wait for me" (which I'm not going to I don't think) and "hopefully I've helped you on picking women." Then she will turn around and say "I know you are the right thing BUT.....I still have issues to work out" "I don't want to drag you into this" "I power dated many guys after I broke up with him but when I met you it was different, I haven't been out on a date since." I think she is sending me mixed signals, don't you? Why do I still think she is going to get back with the ex-douche bag?? I hate the unknown, the uncertainty. That is part of my insecurity I guess. She has not given me the "I'm sorry, but......" speech yet. The feeling I get from all of this is that I am still in the ballpark, now how close to home plate I am is a mystery. She's a great gal, I like being around her, I told her that, she tells me she loves it when I make her laugh - aren't those the simple things? Why can't things be simple???? This is what I think: She's hung up on the ex, even though he is a scumbag. I think she is riding the fence between "getting back together" or "closing him out for good." He's the one who left her. Fortunately I have not vested too much emotion into this, that will help if I get the "I'm sorry, but......." call. Anyone care to comment on this?
JoeNat Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Well, I'm dealing with that crap right now too. Ex wants back in her life to help take care of the dog and yet 1 month ago she said it is her dog and she wants nothing to do with him. Well, just this past Sat he came and got the dog and the dog needs shots. Shots that I was giving the dog prior to this. It is a two person thing and he knows that. She goes well here take the medicine to give the shot. He denies and says no WE will do it when I get back. This is after she said well I have someone to help me with that. She is allowing him back in her life. Why because she wants him back in her life because she still has feelings for him. I think that is what you are dealing with right now too. My advice is to just let her go, she wouldn't be in counseling with him if she wasn't still trying to make things work. I hate guys who do this. It is all a control game. Move on!!!
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