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Is it just me or am I seeing a "trend" here? (for the men...)

dns502475

By dns502475
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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The entire attitude of your opening post is a turn-off. It's cynical and disrespectful to women. It also makes men look like whiny-ass boys.

 

If you want a healthy attitude towards women, try one where it's all about two people who care about each other. If someone treats you with disrespect, don't put up with it.

 

As I mentioned in another thread, one of the things that men are good at, is being direct. Take action. Use this to your advantage but not in a nasty way, in an assertive way.

 

There are no victims so don't act like one.

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dns502475 Established Member

dns502475

Posted
  • Author
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The entire attitude of your opening post is a turn-off. It's cynical and disrespectful to women. It also makes men look like whiny-ass boys.

 

Disrespectful to women? Makes men look like whiny-ass boys? That's your opinion, Trialbyfire. Sounds like you're reading some things into the post that weren't there.

 

Sorry, I can't do anything about that.

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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The entire attitude of your opening post is a turn-off. It's cynical and disrespectful to women. It also makes men look like whiny-ass boys.

 

I didn't get that impression at all. I think she's just saying that there's a plethora of guys who are willing to be doormats for women - and they're totally on the wrong track. They think they're being nice when really they're just allowing someone to be disrespectful toward them.

IcemanJB Established Member

IcemanJB

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I didn't get that impression at all. I think she's just saying that there's a plethora of guys who are willing to be doormats for women - and they're totally on the wrong track. They think they're being nice when really they're just allowing someone to be disrespectful toward them.

 

BINGO!!!

 

I can't see how dns's statements are disrespectful to women either.

theBrokenMuse Established Member

theBrokenMuse

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I have no love or respect for jerks, in fact, in the past I have taken great delight in knocking them down a notch. Heh, I guess that makes me a bit of a witch, huh?

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

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I don't want a guy who's a challenge. But I do have to have a guy who's confident and in control (and, preferably, who adores me). Which means he may feel like he can't live without me, but he won't put up with any crap if I treat him badly. That's the key. Women have to have respect for the man they're with. If she doesn't, it's a death-sentence to the relationship.

 

If more men would listen to this spot-on advice, they'd be way better off.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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I'd like to know who decides when "she's treating him badly". If it's him and she disagrees, oopsie :)

 

If life and marriage were only that simple :D

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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I'd like to know who decides when "she's treating him badly". If it's him and she disagrees, oopsie :)

 

If life and marriage were only that simple :D

 

When he perceives he's being treated badly.

 

As my ex used to say, 'life is simple, it's people who complicate it.'

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Trust me when I tell you that, unless you're willing to endure an angry spouse all the time, enforcing such boundaries rigidly can be debilitating.

 

Life is not simple, nor is human existence. The essence of the universe is chaos. Happy to have you along :)

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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Trust me when I tell you that, unless you're willing to endure an angry spouse all the time, enforcing such boundaries rigidly can be debilitating.

 

Life is not simple, nor is human existence. The essence of the universe is chaos. Happy to have you along :)

 

Nah, I don't mean all the time. But couples need to maintain a healthly level of respect between them.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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OK, respect I can embrace. There is an old saying about picking one's battles carefully; perhaps the same can apply to those boundaries of respect. I tried this once. "I lose respect for you when you ignore me" ....... no answer....."Hello!"..... "What, dear, what did you say?" *plonk* *smacks head* *reaches for more vodka* :D

 

But, seriously, I embrace respect :)

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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Well there is one thing to be said about being somewhat of a jerk, if you want to consider this as being one. With a little bit of a hardened heart, shields up, eyes open, and knowing not to be played for a fool, if things don't work out, its and easy walkaway.

 

With me, a relationship works out, or it doesn't. I'll make the effort and put work into a relationship, treat a woman right. But the minute there is something that is not right that I consider a deal breaker, I'm gone. And I won't think twice about it.

 

While I won't say I won't fall in love, what I will do is keep my emotions in check and not let them do the thinking for me. Worked out great so far. No broken heart and no grief when a relationship ends.

 

its kind of like that episode in Seinfeld when his girlfriend broke up with him and he says in a happy voice, "oh thats ok. I'll find somebody else."

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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With me, a relationship works out, or it doesn't. I'll make the effort and put work into a relationship, treat a woman right. But the minute there is something that is not right that I consider a deal breaker, I'm gone. And I won't think twice about it.

 

I do the same thing now - why prolong the pain? People spend years of their lives on relationships that don't, and never will, work. I don't think that's considered being a jerk.

Teuen101 Established Member

Teuen101

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I don't think men that post here have lost their game. In any relationship their is a point in a relationship where people ask them self one question. is this the person i wanna be with. some one gets cold feet or thinks the grass is greener and bails.

 

some times things go off with out a hitch no one is hurt- but some times one of the two are in love and some one gets gutted.

 

it happens we all play the fool and we all play the jerk at some points in our lives.

 

Like I told my ex- after we broke up.

 

"What you've done to me, some one will do to you. and remember me at that moment"

 

It will she might fall in love with some one and they might gut her and rip her heart out- I hope not.

 

But we all play the fool we all messed up like my dad says with a laugh and fall in love.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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Disrespectful to women? Makes men look like whiny-ass boys? That's your opinion, Trialbyfire. Sounds like you're reading some things into the post that weren't there.

 

Sorry, I can't do anything about that.

Now that's a passive-aggressive post, if I've ever seen one!

 

Your opening post is all about extremes. Get balanced and not only get balanced, get assertive, not passive-aggressive.

 

askmen.com is such a lame site when it comes to functional relationships.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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I don't think men that post here have lost their game.

 

 

uh, you are posting here.;)

Teuen101 Established Member

Teuen101

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uh, you are posting here.;)

 

read my post again bro:rolleyes: I know im a bad typer- but I made that point.

 

 

people who post here are hurt or just trying to figure things out why ? b/c they were in love and love is never a simple subject.

 

its always the person you love or think your in love with that hurts you. Most guy here are seeing otheir people matter of fact 2 or 3 people- So to say people who post here have no game or have lost it, is a reach.

 

people post here have been in love - they reached out thought they had something with some one-

 

It's easy to run around date people and not care - you risk nothing in that, It's just a good time. but when you fall in love lol.. you risk everything. If things dont go as planed, well you just might end up posting here. it don't mean you've lost your game.

Teuen101 Established Member

Teuen101

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Oh yeah, one more thing.

 

Say one has game ? okie, what the point of the game ? to date as many people as you can ? without risk of loseing anything or getting to close to anyone? sure, what guy hasn't done that ? It's easy to play that game.

 

But take it from me when you play that game, you find your self alone or with some one shallow. So do you count that as winning the game ?

 

whats the goal here? To play some jedi mind trick ? or what I like to call "Rope a dope" or the "yo-yo effect" to get some one to like you, If you must do that then their really not worth you're time or worth the effort- sure you might get laid and thats awesome but sooner or later you'll come to a place in your live where you'll think and you'll know you'll want something more =)

 

Then you'll hate games and you'll wont be intrested in people who play them-

 

But this is just me and my walk in life- I've been with people I wasnt sure about and I'm sure they got hurt. Then I met the woman who hurt me and it was a wake up call.

 

For most the people who post here they got their wake up call. they're life has changed

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
Posted
Oh yeah, one more thing.

 

Say one has game ? okie, what the point of the game ? to date as many people as you can ? without risk of loseing anything or getting to close to anyone? sure, what guy hasn't done that ? It's easy to play that game.

 

But take it from me when you play that game, you find your self alone or with some one shallow. So do you count that as winning the game ?

 

whats the goal here? To play some jedi mind trick ? or what I like to call "Rope a dope" or the "yo-yo effect" to get some one to like you, If you must do that then their really not worth you're time or worth the effort- sure you might get laid and thats awesome but sooner or later you'll come to a place in your live where you'll think and you'll know you'll want something more =)

 

Then you'll hate games and you'll wont be intrested in people who play them-

 

But this is just me and my walk in life- I've been with people I wasnt sure about and I'm sure they got hurt. Then I met the woman who hurt me and it was a wake up call.

 

For most the people who post here they got their wake up call. they're life has changed

A balanced approach. FINALLY, within this thread! :bunny:

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Nobody taught this generation of men how to be men so we ended up letting women define manhood for us. Since women don't know a thing about what it is like to be a man naturally this did not work out too well. Men really need to get back to basics and get back in touch with all those qualities that this feminized culture has tried to erase in the past 40 years. The most successful men are the ones who ignore the feminist attempts to remake manhood and just do what it is best for us.

donnamaybe Established Member

donnamaybe

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I wouldn't be with my man if he was "a jerk." He IS a "nice guy," but he's also not a door mat. There is a difference, you know. ;)

EmperorR Established Member

EmperorR

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I don't want a guy who's a challenge. But I do have to have a guy who's confident and in control (and, preferably, who adores me). Which means he may feel like he can't live without me, but he won't put up with any crap if I treat him badly. That's the key. Women have to have respect for the man they're with. If she doesn't, it's a death-sentence to the relationship.

 

The only time I wasn't in control with my ex was after I got cheated on and was a emotional wreck for a few weeks begging for another chance, ya I was pathetic but it was a learning experience.

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