lady_door Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 This isn't a problem but more of a general question... To everyone who is in a relationship, when did you say "I love you" for the first time? How long have you been together and who said it first? Also, how would you react if you said it and your SO didn't say it back? Has that ever happened to you? I'm basically asking because my bf and I haven't said it yet and I think I might do so at some point in the near future... but I'm not sure if I should. Do guys generally like it if a girl says it first? I know that it's different for everyone and depends on the situation but I'm just curious.
AlektraClementine Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 This isn't a problem but more of a general question... To everyone who is in a relationship, when did you say "I love you" for the first time? How long have you been together and who said it first? Also, how would you react if you said it and your SO didn't say it back? Has that ever happened to you? I'm basically asking because my bf and I haven't said it yet and I think I might do so at some point in the near future... but I'm not sure if I should. Do guys generally like it if a girl says it first? I know that it's different for everyone and depends on the situation but I'm just curious. We have been together for almost a year. He said I love you first. Around the 8 month mark. We are both very careful people and he tried in many ways for a very long time to say it. Since he was struggling so much, I stayed very patient and let him work it out in his head. I knew he loved me and I knew he'd say the words in his time. Now you wanna know the truth? I was totally agonizing over when he would and if he did. The above is my 20/20 hindsight version of it. haha. I personally felt better about letting him be the one to say it. But I won't promise that waiting for it will be easy.
berrieh Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 This isn't a problem but more of a general question... To everyone who is in a relationship, when did you say "I love you" for the first time? How long have you been together and who said it first? Also, how would you react if you said it and your SO didn't say it back? Has that ever happened to you? I'm basically asking because my bf and I haven't said it yet and I think I might do so at some point in the near future... but I'm not sure if I should. Do guys generally like it if a girl says it first? I know that it's different for everyone and depends on the situation but I'm just curious. Not in a relationship now, but have been in 3 "I love you" relationships in the past. The first two, the guys said it first and I didn't feel the same way. (My HS boyfriend, who later proposed, and my college boyfriend, who was a commitment-phobe. Took the HS boyfriend 3 months and the college boyfriend 1.5 years.) I said it back to my HS boyfriend, just to say it, but never said it back to my college boyfriend, because of the way things ended and went on with the HS boyfriend. College boyfriend and I dated for another year almost; my not feeling the same way didn't hurt us, but only because I think, if I had been in love with him, he wouldn't have been interested anymore. He was one of those. The only mature ILY relationship I've had was two years ago. It was intense, and kind of complicated, but he said it first to me, about 6 weeks in. In our case, it -- and other things -- put a lot of pressure on the relationship, and eventually we just collapsed under it, though we tried twice (about 1 year total) to make things work. He's still the only guy I ever loved, and we almost got back together this fall, before I met the new guy. Now, I don't think I'd want a guy to say it to me before we were extremely serious (beginning to consider living together) and certainly not before several months of dating. I don't like to use "time" but not until we knew each other really completely and were sure we were both in for the long haul and compatible, as potential marriage partners someday. To me, that's what ILY should be. I'd never say it first to a guy, because I do relate it to marriage potential. I guess that's the one area I'm really old-fashioned: I wouldn't say ILY or propose marriage. That's for the boys.
Author lady_door Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Now you wanna know the truth? I was totally agonizing over when he would and if he did. The above is my 20/20 hindsight version of it. haha. That makes me feel better At least I'm not the only one
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