selim Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Hi, I'm a 24 year old man from kansas city... I'm currently in the most horrible, heartwrenching pain i've ever endured, me and my first ever girlfriend, in which I spent two years with and a year living together just broke up, forever... And to make things worse, she already had a new BF 2 days after officially breaking up... The breakup was officail exactly a month ago, nov 3rd. I knew her a long time ago, I had a crush on her in the seventh grade, but we had never hooked up, I didn't know what kind of a person she was like then, I do know, but regardless it still hurts. We first got together at the begining of 2007, we we're "reunited" by some old friends of ours, she showed immediate interest in me. I wasn't really attracted to her at first, but the second night we hung out together, we had sex... And it all started from there. At first I just wanted to break it off, because I'm young, and I don't really want a relationship, I never did, because I've seen the pain they cause through friends and family. We we're chatting through emails, and she brought up a topic that made me feel really pressured, but at the same time very sympathetic for her. She told me that she had just recently been diagnosed with stage 4 kidney disease, stage 5 being kidney failure (death), and that she wouldn't live to see the age of 30, and that she always loved me, even from the seventh grade, and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, I broke out in tears when she first told me that, I felt like I had to give it a try. It didn't take me long to start getting comfortable around her, and I started to fall for her. I fell so deeply in love with her that I even offered to take the test to see if my kidney would be a match, so she could stay alive, and I could be with her. About 2 months into dating her, I came across the first red flag. There was a guy she was talking to, who at the time I thought was just her kind of her friend, and from what she told me he was kind of a pest, she told me he kind of had a crush on her, I had seen the guy, and didn't really consider him to be a threat to me, and on top of that he was married to a girl that was also her friend. She lost her cell phone for about a week, I found it in her car by mistake, so I turned it on to see if the battery would start up, it did and in flooded a ton of text message from the guy. They were text messages claiming that he was in love with her, and others about arranging a sexual meet, I thought to myself "what a creep!", but something triggered into my mind that I should look at the sent messages, so I did. They were making arrangements to get together and have sex... Needless to say, I was pretty upset. And I confronted her about them, I was about to walk out the door when she grabbed my arm, got on her knees, and begged me to stay. She told me that they were just for fun, nothing accually happened between them, and that she would never talk to him again because he was a sleazeball that was attempting to cheat on his wife with one of their so called "friends", I told her that the trust was shattered, and that it would never work out from that point, and she rebutled by saying that she would never talk to him again, I told her I wanted her to tell his wife everything, and I would give her a second chance, she did and I gave her a second chance, but the trust factor took a real hit on my side. About 6 months into dating, I borrowed her car one night to drive to a friends house, he was just in town on leave from the navy. I was borrowing her car because mine was totalled in an accident, and I was currently looking for another car. I made a big mistake, and I left her car door unlocked, I was so excited to see my friend that I didn't even think to lock it, well... Her purse was in the car, and it was stolen. Needless to say she had a lot of important stuff in her purse, her keys to the bank where she worked, her credit cards, ATM card, no cash, she doesnt keep cash, and keys to the bank where she worked, she also had her account there. I got straight back to her house at around 3am when I had notice the purse had been stolen to tell her about it, I apoligized, and told her to cancel her credit cards immediately, she got really angry! She got so angry that she started screaming in my face, and then slapped me as hard as she could. I didn't even say anything, I just turned around, walked out the front door and walked home, we lived only about a half mile away from each other. She was calling me over and over again, until I finally answered the phone, she was telling me how sorry she was for slapping me in the face, I told her don't let it happen again, and she agreed. I then went to go look around the neighborhood I was in for her purse, I figured it was probably just a couple of kids that were breaking into cars and stealing whatever they could get their hands on, they wouldve found no cash in her purse and tossed it, it was a 300 dollar coach purse. I immediately found evidence all over the neighborhood of car break-ins, CDs all over the streets, papers probably from somebodies backpack, etc... I knew the purse was around the neighborhood somewhere, probably in a bush, but after about an hour of searching I didn't find it and gave up. A few days later, she called me with this story that the theif had used her credit cards to purchase something large, 3000 dollars is what she claimed, and that they also withdrew 5000 dollars from her bank account using her ID, and used the keys to her work to unlock the hose in the on the side of the building, and flood the entire parking. I knew right off the bat that something was wrong about everything, if she had cancelled her credit cards, there is no way anything couldve been charged, and there is also no way that a person could use her ID to take money out of her account, esspecially considering the fact that she worked there and everyone knew her, but I kept my mouth shut about it even though I knew something was just not right, it was pretty obvious. About six months after this happened, and I was living with her, we got a phone call on the house phone, she wasn't there so I didn't answer, nobody calls the house for me, and I wanted the person trying to contact her to leave a message if it was important. It was a woman and her husband from the neighborhood where my friend was staying, they found her purse in their bush, and were calling to report it. Shortly after listening to the message on the machine, I called them back and told them I was her BF, and that I needed to know the contents of the bag. Everything was there, her ID, ATM card, all of her credit cards, keys to her work, even her digital camera was still in there, it was an old camera, and not really worth stealing. The whole story she told about her credit being ruined and it was my fault, was a lie, she even trashed the cards, just to cover her story. A year or so into our relationship, a bunch more lies started to arrise, by far the most disturbing by a long shot was another message on the answering machine. This message was from her Kidney Doctors office, they wanted to schedule a check up, because it had been 3 YEARS since her last appointment, which was odd to me because she had been to the doctor several times, and always told me that it was the kidney doctor. I found out later she didn't even have stage 4 kidney disease!!! She told this to a lot of people. Somebody later told me that she got kidney stones a few times, I put 2 and 2 together and pretty much established that's why she was going to a kidney doctor. This was a bad relationship, and even though she was the way she was I still hurt really bad inside... I tried so hard to get her to change, and she always told me she would, that gave me hope. We had plans, we planned on getting married, the whole thing. Now it's over... Ever since it happened I find myself to be in a constant state of sorrow, and axiety, I get aches and pains, headaches, knots in my stomach, I can barely function anymore, I even lost my job because I just can't stop feeling this horrible entity, I can't think straight, I can't function, i'm just in a constant state of sadness...
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 It sounds as though she had a psychological disorder, she comes across as a compulsive liar. Have you considered talking to a therapist? I can really understand the pain in this. You have a history with her, she's someone from your past, you invested a lot of feelings in her and she has completely blown the image you had of her apart. This will have repercussions on your trust for other women. It always horrifies me how we can start of so trusting, so naive, so believing, only for one mental nut case to make these natural processes almost impossible.
Author selim Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Thank you for your comment, it always helps... If anyone wants to talk to somebody, to help each other cope with their breakup illness, i'm always online. My AIM Screen name is Impulseofmario.
Author selim Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 Over the passed month of so, I've done some significant changing... Last month on january 15th, she text messaged me and was calling me. I was over it almost, i had stopped looking at her myspace, and basically i was feeling a hell of a lot better, not thinking about her and just doing other stuff. When she messaged me, it was just a bunch of fake nonsense, i would post the DIRTY texts she sent me of some things we did a few times. Of course itw as all just a load of ****, she texted me how she still loves me and nonsense and at first i was like NO! im not oging to talk to her again, well after about a week of her BEGGING me to talk to her, i went over to her house, she tried to have sex with me and i just left. A few days later we did have sex, it was lame as usual, and i then texted her a few days after us hanging out, and said that she really wasnt my type, and i dont like her. today she messaged me again, i replied and she went psycho bi polar nutcase on me, and her DAD call me, ahaha that was a laugh, i guess stupidity just runs in the family. I talked to him for about an hour, and it was like talking to a tree, he's an idiot that knows nothing. My point is, if you're trying to get over an ex, dont ask anyone any questions about him or her, dont dig into present and future of things she is doing, just cut it off, totally, youll get over it quick. trust me. KARMA BITES BACK! what goes around comes around, so dont be an *******, or a bitch.
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