sid3 Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I was called tonite, then she said she'd call tomorrow to confirm our plans for Friday. I like it:lmao: She is extremely shy, to the point where I was surprised she called. She gets major points for putting it out there. She sounded really nervous for the first few minutes, absolutely adorable....
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Awww...thanks guys! And girls! I love it that so many people are just like, do it! And I'm glad to hear that some guys like it when a girl calls I think it makes it easier for all involved to be able to just be ourselves once in a while. So, I was going to wait until tomorrow, but after a couple of glasses of wine, I did the deed. Verrrrrrrry interesting. First of all, he said that he had sent me an email with some pictures attached. Did I get it? Well, no, I didn't. That could explain why I hadn't heard from him. Turns out, it was in my spam folder. Maybe because the pictures were too big, I don't know. We talked for over an hour, and in that hour, he managed to ask me to go out Saturday night and to fly out to California in January (WTF?!?) He's going on a long trip and he will be in Cali at the end. I just happen to have those days off. Umm...ok. I'm a fly-by-the -seat- of- my- pants-kinda-gal, and I have done really crazy things like fly to the Bahamas with a guy I had only been out with 3 times, but really??? He also told me, again, that he may move there, but he's not sure. So all in all, not necessarily the most grounded guy on the planet but could be a fun whirl. Just goes to show ya you really never know until you ASK!!!!!
Gremio Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Cherry, I don't buy into "a guy should do this, a girl should do this". I hate games. If he says he will call, he should, but there shouldn't be a rule saying you can't either. I love it when a woman calls me. It proves to me she is genuinely interested.
zhsoj Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Awww...thanks guys! And girls! I love it that so many people are just like, do it! And I'm glad to hear that some guys like it when a girl calls I think it makes it easier for all involved to be able to just be ourselves once in a while. So, I was going to wait until tomorrow, but after a couple of glasses of wine, I did the deed. Verrrrrrrry interesting. First of all, he said that he had sent me an email with some pictures attached. Did I get it? Well, no, I didn't. That could explain why I hadn't heard from him. Turns out, it was in my spam folder. Maybe because the pictures were too big, I don't know. We talked for over an hour, and in that hour, he managed to ask me to go out Saturday night and to fly out to California in January (WTF?!?) He's going on a long trip and he will be in Cali at the end. I just happen to have those days off. Umm...ok. I'm a fly-by-the -seat- of- my- pants-kinda-gal, and I have done really crazy things like fly to the Bahamas with a guy I had only been out with 3 times, but really??? He also told me, again, that he may move there, but he's not sure. So all in all, not necessarily the most grounded guy on the planet but could be a fun whirl. Just goes to show ya you really never know until you ASK!!!!! Most excellent... I hear the bahamas are nice this time of year. Thanks for following up and posting the results. Reminds me I should probably be a bit more aggressive in pursuing... I tend to give up after the first unanswered message... Maybe 2 is a bit more appropriate...
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 I have decided, as of late, that am tired of playing by the rules in life. I am tired of letting others dictate to me what I can and cannot do, and what I should or should not do. This is not just dating. Why can't I be happy if i want to? Call a guy if i want to? Sit at home and watch movies all weekend and the next go dancing until 4 am? F-- it. I'm 36 years old and I'm going to do whatever the f-- I want to do. Wow, that was a nice bottle of wine Don't worry, I only drank half of it.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Most excellent... I hear the bahamas are nice this time of year. Thanks for following up and posting the results. Reminds me I should probably be a bit more aggressive in pursuing... I tend to give up after the first unanswered message... Maybe 2 is a bit more appropriate... Yeah, seriously. This guy could have been sitting around thinking, wow, she never responded. I guess she doesn't like me. And I'm sitting around going, wow, he hasn't called, maybe he doesn't like me. Might as well give it a shot.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 CB just to let you know, one of my gf went through a similiar frustration last night when she couldn't get through to the guy she was calling. I think the problem was that she was afraid the guy was mad at her or something because he wouldn't pick up. She ended up being upset the whole night. The thing about calling a guy is that most women are afraid that the guy won't pick up and they would in turn interpret it as rejection.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Yes, Papercutz, that is true. Yet how many times have you left your phone at home or forgot to charge it? I was out of the country recently for a few days and a friend called. Of course I didn't get the message until days later. I wasn't ignoring him, my phone didn't work in that country. He is a friend, so of course he didn't care, but if he was a guy who was interested in me he probably would have thought I was blowing him off.
Capricciosa Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Sometimes I think I would make a much better guy than girl when it comes to dating. I have no problem calling, I can handle rejection, and I would rather have some control over things. The hard part about being a woman is that you have to be more passive and receptive, which I totally get, but I would rather be the one to make things happen (or not happen). But I know that even thought there aren't rules per se, there are traditions, and there are roles. Not that they can't be tinkered with, i.e. this thread. I have to say that every long term relationship I've been in since the age of 16, I initiated in some way. Not only do I not have the patience to wait around for some guy to drum up the courage to approach, I like to be the chooser. Screw the traditions. Are you traditional? Call already.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Hee hee, I did! Read back a couple of posts.
Capricciosa Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Hee hee, I did! Read back a couple of posts. I know, I just made it through the whole thread, but I was inspired to respond half way through. I'm happy you did. It sounded fine. Though I too get into that weird space where I think the guys should call, blah blah blah, I really prefer to be the captain of my own ship. The only rule is to not pursue someone obviously not interested. So congrats for breaking through!!
norajane Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I have decided, as of late, that am tired of playing by the rules in life. I am tired of letting others dictate to me what I can and cannot do, and what I should or should not do. This is not just dating. Why can't I be happy if i want to? Call a guy if i want to? Sit at home and watch movies all weekend and the next go dancing until 4 am? F-- it. I'm 36 years old and I'm going to do whatever the f-- I want to do. Wow, that was a nice bottle of wine Don't worry, I only drank half of it. Dang - what was in that wine?
Gremio Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Yeah, seriously. This guy could have been sitting around thinking, wow, she never responded. I guess she doesn't like me. And I'm sitting around going, wow, he hasn't called, maybe he doesn't like me. Might as well give it a shot. I just want to yell WRONG over and over... haha. If he likes you, he should "grow a pair" and call you. Don't people grow out of shyness when they get out of their teens?!? If he doesn't step up and you're shy, both of you lose, therefore being shy is useless! Go get 'em tiger! LoL
Star Gazer Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I have decided, as of late, that am tired of playing by the rules in life. I am tired of letting others dictate to me what I can and cannot do, and what I should or should not do. This is not just dating. Why can't I be happy if i want to? Call a guy if i want to? Sit at home and watch movies all weekend and the next go dancing until 4 am? F-- it. I'm 36 years old and I'm going to do whatever the f-- I want to do. Wow, that was a nice bottle of wine Don't worry, I only drank half of it. This is how I've felt over the past few months. I've realized that the guys that mind don't matter, and the guys that matter don't mind (or actually ENJOY your call).
Trialbyfire Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 F-- it. I'm 36 years old and I'm going to do whatever the f-- I want to do. Do it! Whatever you want to do!
flc Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Communications is the key to relationships prior to dating, during dating and marriage. Those that have no hangups on communicating what they want and need have solid relationships since no one is trying to figure things out and making poor mental judgments. The biggest problem I always run into is a mind set of if he/she loves me they should know what I want. If you don't make sure you get what YOU need no one else will.
CommitmentPhobe Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I'd just like to rein you in a bit here. You've gone from a few days ago wondering whether to call a guy, to wondering whether to go to the bahamas with him to not playing by any rules anymore. Now I understand that the euphoria that accompanied his response has helped you make quite a big leap (actually that's a huge leap). But before you get carried away, I'd suggest you take your time over your decision and new found outlook on life, and consider it all properly.
Spacecowboy79 Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I personally like it when a woman calls, doesn't have to be every single day, but a nice "hey how you doing" is always welcome. That lets me know that she is still interested.
sumdude Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Three things in this thread I really like. The biggest problem I always run into is a mind set of if he/she loves me they should know what I want. If you don't make sure you get what YOU need no one else will. They hang out in groups, and thing seem to develop more casually. There is not as much formal dating, i.e. asking her for a date, taking her out to dinner and a movie. Not that these things wouldn't happen later on. It is just not as formal. ..and if you ask me this is a much better way to meet and get to know someone. Come on.. why wait for the guys to do all the 'work'... if you want something.. go and get it.. no one will get it for you... amen.. and I believe if you want a 50/50 relationship then it should start that way. All that said, go on that date Saturday but you might want to wait before committing to a trip though.. then again ya only live once. Just be comfortable with your decision.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Yeah, I don't now what was in that wine but I'm going to buy it again, Commitmentphobe, I went to the Bahamas with another guy after three dates. We ended up dating for 6 months, and although it wasn't a long term thing, we are still friends and I like his current gf quite a bit. I am going to go on the date Saturday, but I highly doubt I will go to California. I thought that was a little bit of crazy talk, actually. I mean, where did THAT come from?? I think he seems like a lot of fun, but he also seems like a bit of a wanderer. I'm not taking it very seriously. I do find him to be very attractive and we seem to have some things in common, but I'm not looking into the future with this one. I will have fun while it lasts-whether that is one date or more. I'm just glad that this has come up, sort of out of nowhere. It helps to see that there are options out there. It makes me feel like there is hope that I may meet someone someday. Right now I am trying to redirect my life to focus on the things I like to do and the things that make me happy. D-Jam has given some good advice about that. I feel like so many times in my life my unhappiness comes from trying to live according to what I "should" do, and not what I actually want to do. I need to be able to define my own life, and not let others define it for me. I will let you all know how Saturday goes!
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Well la-di-da, we had a good time last night and he asked to see me again before he left. That's a pretty good sign, right? Actually, there's a little more to the story. We had planned to go out last night. He called me around noon on Saturday. We talked for a while and then he was like, so, have you looked up the movie? (I've loved You so Long, which, by the way is EXCELLENT). Where is it showing? I was thinking, no, I haven't, I thought you were going to, but I just said no not yet. I got off the phone and looked them up and then called him back. Then he said, gee, I don't know, I think maybe I would rather go tomorrow. I'm like, what??? Are you canceling on me? Actually, I had a sense that might happen. So I said, well, I can't do it tomorrow, and he said, great, then let's do it tonight. Then I said, very emphatically, that if he didn't want to go tonight, then I really didn't want to go. Me: Well, I REALLY don't want to go if you aren't in the mood. Why don't you call me later. Him: No, no, I want to go. I want to go. Um, ok. So we went. He greeted me with a kiss (not a make-out kiss, but on the lips nonetheless). We watched the movie and then went out for beers (his idea). We ended up talking about anything and everything for about 2.5 hours. I find him very comfortable to talk to, which is usually difficult for me. I'm usually self-censoring a lot, and I don't really do that with him. We left and parted ways. That's when he said he wanted to see me again. I said sure, sometime soon, and he was like, when? Let's figure it out. A little strange, no? On the one hand he seems like he doesn't really care whether or not he sees me, on the other, he doesn't. I just think that it was strange of him to try to change our plans. I left the house thinking, why am I going out with this guy who doesn't want to go out with me? This is stupid. Then when I'm with him,it is clear that he wants to be there and is enjoying our time together. Oh well. Like I said before, I'm not taking any of it too seriously.
Gremio Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 That seems like it was awkward. I wouldn't definately keep him at arms length. He seems flaky.
rod_in_gtown Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 In his country things are much more casual. People don't really date like they do in the US. They hang out in groups, and thing seem to develop more casually. There is not as much formal dating, i.e. asking her for a date, taking her out to dinner and a movie. Not that these things wouldn't happen later on. It is just not as formal. Definitely sounds hispanic, south america? that's how we roll down here. I had to get "house broken" into the whole dating ways of you americans. No wonder I was single for 5 years when I got here, and choked when a girl actually asked me out. We (guys) love to hear from a girl, me personnally, always welcome calls. Don't conform to standards, give him a call (maybe you already did, I'm still going through the thread)
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Yeah, he seems really flaky. I'm totally keeping him at arms length. The good thing is that when he does random stuff like this, I attribute it to him and his flakiness and not to me. I used to say, oh why is this guy doing this? What's wrong with me? Now I'm like, well, another day another nutter! Hahaha! The funny thing is that the phone call was awkward when he said that. I was like, really? We already had this planned. Why did he as me to go if he didn't want to go? But then when we were together, there was no awkwardness whatsoever, and he clearly enjoyed spending time with me. But year, there are some strange things here.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 Definitely sounds hispanic, south america? that's how we roll down here. I had to get "house broken" into the whole dating ways of you americans. No wonder I was single for 5 years when I got here, and choked when a girl actually asked me out. We (guys) love to hear from a girl, me personnally, always welcome calls. Don't conform to standards, give him a call (maybe you already did, I'm still going through the thread) Yeah, Rod, I did and we went out last night. No, he's not Latin. He's Australian. OMG, I REALLY hope he doesn't read LS!!!!!
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