DSM-IV Tom Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 NC. (No Contact). Say you were dumped. You can choose to beg and plead, or you can accept the loss and incorporate NC. So you may be asking, what does this have to do with a "metaphorical bullet" that you're taking for your ex? Well, the bullet I'm talking about is representative of pain. The bullet is for the specific ended relationships where you know it's over, but you'd do anything to get that person back, but you know they'd be happier without you. This, by far in my opinion, is the most painful realization one can come to on their own. This is how you, as that person in that position, can take a metaphorical bullet for the one you love. You cut yourself off for THEIR good, because you love them as much as you do. This is what happened with me. I always told her I'd take a bullet for her. It turns out the bullet I'd take for her was a metaphorical analogy for pain. I shielded her from it by accepting all the weight, and cutting myself off. The reason for this topic is to put into perspective a specific situation that is extremely difficult to go through. I hoped talking about it would help some.
IcemanJB Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Interesting way to look at it. At some points I'd rather take a real bullet than deal with the NC pain...
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 That is a very humble and brave thing to do. I've always thought that emotional and mental pain can be so much worse than physical (within reason of course).
alwayssme Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 the first few weeks of my break-up i literally felt like i would have MUCH MUCH rather had him cut me with a knife and felt that crazy physcial pain...then to have felt this. i still mean that to this day. may sound crazy but at least the physical pain would have a solution. i wouldnt die, it would hurt ALOT for a little while then it would heal....but this emaotional pain....its harder.
Eyeofthoth Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I love that analogy. Whatever reason they had, if you truly love them and they have asked for their freedom, then you just give it to them -- you let them be to work out their own lives and their own issues. Be noble. Be altruistic. Be a white knight for them. And then carry on with your own life and your own issues. It hurts worse than anything. But is is courageous. Of course, in my case, I do not believe he would be happier without me. I believe he has made a terrible mistake. But it doesn't matter. He asked for space and so he has it. And I carry on as best as I can. Find some other way to live . . .
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